Improving Perfection - Chapter 18

[moffel83]

Title: Improving Perfection (Bittersweet 3)
Author:  moffel83
Pairing: Domlijah of course
Rating: NC 17 (for the complete series)
Summary: Dom, Elijah and Luke are a happy family. Can they improve that perfection? And will trying to improve it maybe put what they have in danger?
Disclaimer:  As far as I know this is not true! It's all just in my head;)  This story is an Mpreg and Mpreg doesn't exist in real life.
Author's Note:Thanks to my lovely beta spikessweetgirl
Chapter: 18/22
Word count: 4258

Previous chapters



“No, wait! Don’t! Just put it over there,” Elijah directed Billy and Dom who had just put up the crib and were now waiting for Elijah to decide on the right place for it to stand.

“Jeez, Lighe…Make up your mind already,” Dom muttered, feeling slightly tired and beginning to feel his aching muscles. It had been like this for two days now, with Elijah having him and Billy carry around furniture and directing them to put it down in one place only for him to then change his mind and have them put it at the opposite end of the room.

“Oh excuse me…I am sorry that I am putting some thought into where I want my baby to sleep,” Elijah snapped back at Dom, feeling more than angered by his comment, throwing him a deathly glare.

”Yeah well…maybe it could be a little less thought and a bit more decision making,” Dom suggested, sounding just as angered and pretty much carrying the same glare in his eyes.

“You know what, Dom? Fuck you!” Elijah suddenly yelled, surprising both himself as well as Billy and Dom and then left the room, but not before Dom could still see the first tears coming.

“No, fuck you!” Dom yelled as he angrily slammed his fist on the edge of the crib. “Bloody Christ!”

Billy just looked at Dom in silence, not saying anything at all which unnerved Dom.

”Okay, out with it.”

“Out with what?” Billy just asked carefully, feeling awfully aware of how bad Dom’s mood was right that moment and not feeling like getting into a fight with him as well.

“Tell me what an insensitive bastard I am and how I am the biggest piece of scum this planet has ever seen,” Dom just told him, the anger suddenly leaving him and him just looking defeated and awfully tired.

”I wasn’t about to say any of that,” Billy just said, letting go of the crib and resting against it while he looked at Dom in compassion. “But you have to cut him some slack, Dom. He’s about to give birth any week now and you best of all of us know what he’s going through right now. The sleepless nights, the aching back and swollen feet…don’t you think he’s allowed to be a bit grumpy every once in a while?”

Because that was what Elijah had been these last two days. Ever since Dom and Billy, with the help of Jack and Luke, had started working on the nursery, nothing had been good enough for Elijah. He had constantly been complaining about one thing or the other, changing his mind again and again and then getting angry at Billy and Dom if they couldn’t keep up with his new decisions and were still doing something he had long ago judged to be a stupid idea anyway.

It had started with them painting the walls, which had been big fun for Luke and Jack because they were allowed to use the big brushes and the big canisters of paint for once, at the end of the day looking like they had painted on themselves more than on the walls. Everyone had laughed and it had been fun until Elijah had suddenly declared that the colour, a colour he himself had chosen, was unfit for a nursery and that he didn’t like it.

The next trouble came up when Dom and Billy were about to start working on the painting for the empty wall, Dom and Elijah having decided on yet another Winnie the Pooh image, much like the one that had been in Luke’s nursery and Elijah suddenly declared that he wanted the crib to stand somewhere else and therefore the empty wall Winnie the Pooh was supposed to be on, wouldn’t be empty anymore at all.

Dom had patiently sat down with Elijah and they had talked about their ideas for the nursery once more, starting from scratch and in the end deciding on putting the furniture in completely new places than had originally been planned and using the opposite wall for the Winnie the Pooh painting.

Once everything had been discussed and agreed upon, Billy and Dom had gone back to working only for Elijah to come up an hour later and inform them that he wasn’t happy with the new plans either. This time Billy had taken over, having noticed how anger was quickly rising up in Dom and knowing his temper and he had sat down with Elijah and had talked to him about everything once more.

In the end it had been past dinner time when they had finally all decided to first put in the furniture and then paint the wall that in the end would turn up to be free of any furniture, giving Elijah as much time as they could to come up with a final decision.

At first everything had gone just as it should have that morning when they had started working again. They had put all the furniture together and had it inside the room, now only having to decide on where to put it. Which was where the next drama started. At first Elijah couldn’t decide where to put the changing table. His first idea had been to put it close to the window so there would be light when they changed the baby’s diapers, but suddenly he scrapped that idea, claiming that the changing table could get too hot in the sun and that he didn’t want their baby to have a burned ass. So in the end the changing table had been put on the other side of the room as far away from the window as was possible. Which was only a suitable solution for about ten minutes because Elijah then decided that they could just shut the blinds and that the changing table would be better situated close to the window. Billy and Dom had then dutifully carried it back to its original place while Jack and Luke had been busy watching on and commenting.

Things had gone like that for pretty much half of the day and it had only been a matter of time before Dom would finally explode. Billy had seen it coming all morning and had known it would happen sooner or later and in the end he had to admit that he had been slightly fed up with Elijah’s behaviour as well, so he had decided that maybe it wouldn’t even be a bad thing for them to fight and then make up. At least after the making-up part they could finally finish getting the nursery done, Billy thought to himself.

Thankfully Luke and Jack had already gotten bored of them carrying the furniture half an hour ago and had moved on to Luke’s room to play with his Lego, not noticing anything of what had just gone on.

Dom sighed and looked at the door through which Elijah had just left. “Does it have to be this grumpy?”

“Talk to him, Dom. Maybe something’s bothering him or he’s feeling unwell…and if not…well, he’s pregnant and the pregnant one is always right. Number one rule to keep your relationship working through a pregnancy.”

“That’s not helping,” Dom chuckled humourlessly when he turned back to look at Billy.

“I know, but…it’s the way the world runs, Dom. It’s always been that way and always will be and men around the world have suffered from it, mate.”

“How can things go from happy to this in just three days? That’s not fair,” Dom exclaimed as he leaned against the crib and rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming up.

Billy knew that Dom was talking about Christmas which had just been a few days ago and he knew from both Dom’s and Elijah’s stories that it had been a very happy Christmas for the Wood-Monaghan family.

Watching Luke unwrap his presents, watching his joy and delight at all the new things he had gotten, then going over to Debbie’s for a family Christmas dinner and enjoying being with their loved ones, before returning home only to be woken up with more presents the next morning as the Boyd family came over so the godsons could finally get their presents as well. They had spent a lovely day together that day, watching the kids play, talking about this and that and enjoying yet another delicious dinner that Ali and Dom had prepared together.

Billy knew what Dom meant about being happy then, because he had seen it with his own eyes. Dom and Elijah had been happy. Both their eyes had been shining, they had been smiling, their faces shining with the love they shared and the knowledge that even more happiness was coming their way. Billy had hardly ever seen them that connected, that close and god knew that he knew how close Dom and Elijah could get. But even he had been amazed by the tender way Dom had touched Elijah’s belly, had helped him get up and sit down, moving his massive body through the house, how Dom had pulled Elijah to him and had hugged him close when they had settled on the couch after dinner, he had seen how Elijah had turned towards Dom’s touch each and every time and had melted into it. Yes, he knew what Dom meant with happy, because it had been the happiest Billy had ever seen their family and it had made him happy for his friends.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Billy offered, seeing Dom’s distraught look and knowing that he was obviously at his wits end. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried talking to Elijah already, Billy knew that. Billy had even seen Dom and Elijah talking yesterday, had seen them earlier today, Billy had seen how Dom had asked Elijah if everything was okay, if he was alright and Elijah had only ever brushed off his questions with a simple ‘I am fine’, when everyone could see that it wasn’t the truth.

Dom looked up at Billy and he immediately had his answer. “Would you mind? I don’t think I am in the right mood right now to be understanding,” Dom sighed and Billy could see that Dom was obviously angry at himself for having lost his temper like that and that he was feeling bad about having to admit that to Billy.

”Don’t beat yourself up about it, mate,” Billy said, giving him a short hug as he walked over to the door. “We can’t always be understanding all the time. It’s okay,” he assured his friend, not wanting Dom to feel too bad or beat himself up about it too much. Trying to lighten the mood he added, “And don’t start without me!”

”Don’t worry, I won’t,” Dom replied as Billy left the room, starting to look for Elijah. He didn’t have to look long. Seeing that Elijah wasn’t with the boys, much as Billy had expected he wouldn’t be, he checked the master bedroom next and wasn’t surprised to find Elijah curled up on the bed there.

Billy stopped in the doorway. “Do you mind if I come in?”

He had already expected to not get an answer from Elijah at all and therefore was quite surprised when he heard a small, teary voice answer back. “Come in.”

Billy didn’t need to be told twice and quickly made his way over to where Elijah lay on the bed and sat down next to him, immediately taking the body of his crying friend into his arms and holding him close, not saying anything, just giving Elijah the time to calm down.

After a few minutes of just holding him and listening to his sobs ebb away and get fewer and fewer, Billy pulled back slightly. “Are you okay, Lighe?”

”Yeah,” the answer came on nothing more than a breath.

“Don’t feed me one of your bullshit lies, Lighe. Are you okay?”

This time the small body in Billy’s arms pulled back as well and looked at him from big, deeply blue, glassy eyes. “I don’t know…”

”Tell me about it,” Billy whispered, knowing that the first step had already been made by Elijah at least admitting that he wasn’t really okay.

“Is Dom very angry?” Elijah asked instead of giving Billy a reason for his behaviour and Billy just decided to go with it. At least Elijah was talking and not shutting him out.

”Nah…you know him…he flares up easily but then it’s all air and nothing serious. He’ll be over it in five minutes,” Billy assured his friend who looked slightly relieved, knowing that Billy wouldn’t lie to him.

”Good,” Elijah said, taking a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to get that angry at him…I didn’t want to explode like that. It just…it just happened somehow. I don’t even know why I stormed off like that.”

”I’d say you were angry with Dom…at least that’s the impression I got,” Billy offered quietly.

“No…not really,” Elijah moved out of Billy’s arms and lay down on the bed, just looking at the ceiling. “I wasn’t angry at him or his comment. I know he was right…”

“So what were you angry at?”

“Me, I guess…,” Elijah whispered.

“Why?” Billy just asked, knowing it was the only question left now.

”Do you know how hard it is to just stand back and watch you guys do everything, not being able to help? Not being able to do anything for my baby’s nursery because I can hardly move and even less help carry things? Do you know how useless it makes me feel?” Elijah whispered, looking at Billy from pained eyes.

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. You did a lot, Lighe. You chose all the paint, you chose the furniture and you helped keep Jack and Luke off our backs when we needed them to be away. You did help!”

“But…those are not the things I really want to do,” Elijah said, mindlessly letting his hand wander to his belly and stroking it. “I wanted to build the crib with Dom, I wanted to put up the changing table and I wanted to put the stuff where I wanted to have it. I wanted to do all that and…it’s my own fault I couldn’t.”

“Hey, you’re nine months pregnant, Elijah. No one would have been able to do any of that this far along,” Billy tried to comfort Elijah.

“That’s just it! Dom wanted to do this earlier. Dom wanted to do all of this at a point where I could have helped him and could have done these things, but I didn’t want to back then. I wanted to wait. It’s my own fault…And it makes me angry to know that Dom was right from the beginning and I should have just listened to him instead of making him do things my way.”

Billy had a feeling that he knew where this was going, that he knew the road they were on and he had no intention of going down it, so he made sure to stop those thoughts right away. “Your decision is not a question of being a good father or not, Lighe! We only got Jack’s room ready two weeks before he was born and it didn’t make either me or Ali bad parents and neither will it make you a bad father.”

“It’s just…Dom is always right…he always knows what to do and how to do it and when to do it and…whenever I disagree and he agrees to do things my way, I slowly come to the realisation that maybe his way would have been better indeed. He is just better at this whole father thing,” Elijah sighed, looking up at Billy from sad eyes.

”You know that’s bullshit,” Billy replied angrily, looking at Elijah as if he was an alien with blue skin. “You have become a great father for Luke, Lighe! You’ve turned into a father he loves and adores and who makes decisions for him with his best interest at heart. You have become the father he always needed and you have become the father Dom needed at his side raising your kids and I know that you’ll be just as great with the new baby. You are the best father any kid could wish for and together with Dom you’ve given Luke a family every child would be envious of! He has two fathers who love him to bits and would do anything they could for him and will do the same for the new baby. Just look at him, Lighe. Can’t you see what a happy kid he is? He’s always laughing, always in a good mood and it’s because you and Dom are doing such a great job raising him and are being great fathers to him. Not just because Dom is a great father, but because you both are! Dom couldn’t do this alone, he needs you to balance his ‘craziness’ every once in a while. So don’t insult yourself and all you’ve accomplished in recent years by saying Dom is better or it’s all his doing. There is no better, because you’re both doing great jobs and you and I know best that Dom is far from perfect and he’d readily admit it himself as well. So what? You didn’t want to get the nursery done earlier, Dom did. Now you did it later and you feel bad about it. Doesn’t mean that Dom has eaten good decisions with a spoon for breakfast. If something had happened, which thank God, it did not, Dom would be in your shoes now and would feel bad about having made a wrong decision. We never know how our decisions will turn out until after we have made them and set them into motion. And seriously, carrying furniture around a room is a pretty shitty job, Lighe. If I were you, I’d be glad I had the perfect excuse for not having to do it and being able to just sit down in a chair and watch others do all the hard work, ordering them around,” Billy winked and he was happy when he saw Elijah smile slightly at that.

”You’re not missing much, I promise. And in any case, I am more than happy to give you first dibs on setting up and carrying around new furniture once the baby gets too old for the crib and needs a new bed,” Billy said, helping Elijah sit up and hugging him once more.

”For what it’s worth, I think it was the right decision to wait. So many things could have gone wrong and…I think you were right in wanting to wait.”

“Thanks,” Elijah whispered, resting his head on Billy’s shoulder. “I am sorry for being such a moody cunt.”

Billy laughed out loud, knowing that Elijah was back by his choice of words. If there was one person who talked worse than a sailor, it would be Elijah. “And yet we still love you!”

Pulling his arm around Elijah and pulling him closer, Billy added. “It’s okay to be moody in your state. I’d be worried if you were not.”

”I wasn’t fair to Dom,” Elijah whispered, “He has only tried to do what I wanted him to do and…God, I would have exploded a lot earlier if he had been ordering me around like that.”

“He’ll get over it. Just point your belly in his direction and he’ll have forgotten about everything,” Billy chuckled, knowing that it was most likely the truth.

“I should apologise to him anyway,” Elijah chuckled and Billy liked hearing that sound from his friend.

“You want me to go and get him?”

When Elijah nodded, Billy carefully let go of him and watched him rest his back against the pillows before he got up and left the room to get Dom.

He wasn’t surprised to find him sitting in Luke’s room, playing a board game with Luke and Jack, making both boys laugh. Dom had always been like that. Whenever he felt bad, he had always spent time with Luke or Jack or any other kid that was nearby, allowing their happiness and carefree mood to infect him as well and make him feel better again. When he was around kids, he just enjoyed them being kids and was able to forget about all the problems plaguing him in his adult life. It’s how he got through the separation from Elijah back in the day. Billy knew that it was Luke who kept Dom sane and helped him keep his shit together, who had stopped him from falling into a new depression and had even managed to make him feel happy despite everything that had gone wrong.

Dom looked up when Billy entered the room, trying to read from his expression how talking to Elijah had gone. He couldn’t see much, but Billy didn’t look upset or angry, so he was slightly hopeful that it had been a good talk.

”Do you want me to take over for you?” Billy asked and Dom knew that there was more meaning behind that simple question. Go and talk to Elijah. It’ll be okay, I promise!

“Sure,” Dom just gave back, excusing himself from the boys and letting Billy take over, slowly making his way over to the bedroom. He entered the room carefully, not knowing what to expect or to do and stopped just short into the room, looking at Elijah sitting on the bed, not moving any closer.

Elijah eyed Dom and knew that Dom wanted to give him space and didn’t want to smother him with concerned questions, but right now it was just what Elijah wanted him to do. He wanted Dom to hold him and listen to his apology and accept it and tell him that everything would be okay.

“Come here,” Elijah said, patting the bed and urging Dom to come over.

Dom hesitated for a second but then forced his body into motion and moved over to the place Elijah had indicated next to him on the bed. Once he had settled down, Elijah immediately went into his arms and Dom was quite surprised by that, but didn’t voice his surprise and just allowed Elijah that closeness, settling his arms around his shoulders and holding him.

“I am sorry, Dom…I didn’t mean to behave like that.”

”Neither did I,” Dom said gently, not able to resist stroking up and down Elijah’s arms

“I…I am not quite sure how you were even able to stand my behaviour that long. I would have exploded a lot earlier. And…I am sorry about having been such an ass about the colours and the furniture. It’s…I don’t even know why I did it,” Elijah went on, all the time being held by Dom.

“Because you want it to be perfect, baby,” Dom just whispered. “As it should be.”

”I know it’ll be. How could it not with you and Billy working on it? I guess…I was just feeling jealous that you two got to do all of this and I could only watch on. I am not good at only watching,” Elijah said quietly.

“That’s why you’re the one making the decisions. To make up for you not being able to carry any furniture. And let me tell you, baby. Out of the three of us, you have the best job,” Dom chuckled, looking down at Elijah and feeling glad when he saw him smile as well.

”I know. I am so ungrateful for the advantages of being pregnant right now. I promise that from now on I’ll respect that gift more,” Elijah winked, pulling himself up a bit so he could seal his promise with a peck on Dom’s lips.

“That’s the spirit, baby,” Dom whispered into the kiss, knowing that they would be okay.

“But promise me that we can just settle on where to put the furniture once and for all. My muscles are aching and I am tired of carrying around that stuff from one end of the room to the other. It would be a pity if on top of being pregnant you’d also have to give me a massage because I was hurting so badly.”

Elijah laughed out at that statement, nestling into Dom. “No, we can’t have that. How would I get my back massage then?”

”Exactly!”

“We should just put everything where we wanted to have it originally. It’s probably for the best,” Elijah decided, before he got up from the bed and moved towards the door. “And we better hurry or we won’t be done in time for dinner and that would really be a pity,” Elijah added, patting his burgeoning belly.

Dom laughed and got up as well, following Elijah to the door and indeed they managed to get the rest of the nursery done without any further fight. And they even got done in time for dinner just as Elijah had wanted them to.