Improving Perfection - Chapter 16
Title: Improving Perfection (Bittersweet 3)
Author: moffel83
Pairing: Domlijah of course
Rating: NC 17 (for the complete series)
Summary: Dom, Elijah and Luke are a happy family. Can they improve that perfection? And will trying to improve it maybe put what they have in danger?
Disclaimer: As far as I know this is not true! It's all just in my head;) This story is an Mpreg and Mpreg doesn't exist in real life.
Author's Note:Thanks to my lovely beta spikessweetgirl
Chapter: 16/22
Word count: 3255
Previous chapters
“Why not?”
“Because I fucking said no. That’s why not!” And with that Elijah stormed off and went up the stairs. Dom looked after him in utter confusion and bewilderment, wincing slightly when he heard their bedroom door slam shut.
“What the fuck was that?” Dom whispered to himself, running a hand through his hair and flopping down on the sofa, trying to make sense of what had just happened.
He had brought up his ideas for the nursery to Elijah, he had asked him about what he thought about those ideas, had asked him if he already had an idea when to start working on the nursery, but much to Dom’s surprise, Elijah had totally shut down and refused to have that conversation. No matter how much Dom had tried to get him to talk about it, Elijah had just refused to have the conversation and in the end had just stormed off.
Dom knew that going up there and following Elijah wouldn’t be a good idea right now. Elijah seemed to be in a bad mood and whenever that was the case, it was best to just let him calm down first and try to have a conversation with him when he was ready for it, a moment one usually recognised by him coming back and apologising profusely for his earlier behaviour.
Dom decided to just wait for that moment and allow Elijah the time to work through whatever it was that was bothering him, turning his attention back to the catalogues and leaflets on the table he had been looking at earlier, trying to decide on a colour for the walls of the nursery and checking out some furniture, not allowing Elijah’s mood to dampen his excitement. He had been looking forward to working on the nursery for months now and couldn’t wait to get started on it and he had thought that Elijah would feel the same. For whatever reason he didn’t and Dom wouldn’t let that fact be a reason for his own good mood to leave him.
However Dom’s mood started to be affected by Elijah’s bad mood when he still hadn’t come down by the time they were supposed to pick up Luke from his playdate and Dom just decided to go on his own.
When he arrived back at home with Luke, he was disappointed to see that Elijah still hadn’t made his way out of the bedroom and decided to go up there and talk to him, not wanting Luke to catch on to the tension between them. Usually Elijah always made sure to spend time with Luke, even if he and Dom were fighting, but this time he hadn’t even said hi or come down when they arrived back at home.
Dom had just gotten Luke out of his dirty clothes and into his pyjama, ready to prepare dinner with him, when he told Luke to go and play with one of his toys while he was waking papa up. Because that had been what he had told Luke. He had told him that Elijah had been very tired and had lain down for a short nap and would be with him soon which for the moment seemed to keep Luke happy enough.
When Dom was sure that Luke was occupied with one of his games, he climbed up the stairs to their bedroom with a heavy heart, knocking on the door carefully. “Lighe? Can I come in?” He asked, not wanting to burst in in case Elijah still needed to be alone.
After a few minutes he knocked once more, not having gotten any reaction to his first knock this time opening the door slowly. “Lighe?”
There was no reaction from inside the bedroom and Dom opened the door wider, entered the room and walked up to the bed where he saw Elijah curled up in a fetal position. At first Dom thought that maybe Elijah was really asleep and that what he had told Luke hadn’t even been a lie, but then he noticed the slight movement of Elijah’s body. He noticed how his shoulders were shaking and it only took Dom a second to realise that Elijah was crying.
The realisation that Elijah was crying got a reaction out of Dom and he quickly moved over to the bed, sitting down next to Elijah’s sobbing body, not surprised to see red-rimmed eyes and tears streaming down the face of his beloved.
“Hey, what is it? Why are you crying?” Dom asked gently, moving his hand to Elijah’s face and wiping away some new tears.
Elijah moved his eyes to Dom’s face, taking it in for the longest time before he replied. And his reply was nothing more than a mere whisper. “I don’t know.”
“Are you okay, baby?” Dom asked and his voice was full of concern.
“No…yes…I don’t know…,” Elijah got out between sobs, rolling from his side onto his back and sighing deeply. “I don’t fucking know.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Dom went on asking, now taking one of Elijah’s hands and squeezing it gently.
“No,” Elijah whispered before looking up at Dom once more and seeing the worried look in his eyes. He knew he had brought it there and that it was his fault Dom was obviously worried right now and he immediately felt bad for it and amended his earlier statement. “Maybe…”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s okay. I just worry and want to know that you’re okay, you know?” Dom said, carefully lying down next to Elijah and pulling him closer, feeling relieved when Elijah went into his arms and cuddled into his body.
“I am just so fucking confused,” Elijah explained in a small voice, resting his head on Dom’s chest.
“What about?”
“Everything.”
“Do you mean because of the baby? Or because of me bringing up the nursery? What’s going on, baby? I am not sure I can follow,” Dom admitted, looking down at Elijah’s head, wondering what was going on inside of it right that moment.
But Elijah never answered that question, just pulling back slightly and looking at Dom. “Where’s Luke?”
“Downstairs. He’s busy playing with his Lego,” Dom answered, wondering where that change of topic had come from.
“You have already picked him up?” Elijah asked, before pushing himself up and looking at the alarm clock on the nighttable next to the bed. “Jesus, it’s already past six?”
“Yeah…He’s already cleaned up and in his pyjamas and we were just about to start dinner. I was just wondering if you were alright and wanted to join us. You already missed lunch,” Dom pointed out, stroking down Elijah’s arm.
Elijah looked down to Dom’s hand on his arm and then back up at Dom’s face and sighed deeply. “I am sorry.”
“Don’t be. We all have bad days, baby. It’s okay.”
“It feels like the bad days never end anymore,” Elijah whispered before a new batch of tears appeared in his eyes.
“Why are you saying that?” Dom asked, looking at Elijah carefully, leaning in for a small peck on his lips before pulling back and resting his head against Elijah’s forehead, just wanting him to know that he was there and ready to listen.
“It’s just…god, I don’t know really…I think I am just getting tired of this…”
“Of what?”
“Being pregnant,” Elijah said miserably, pulling back from Dom and looking just like his voice sounded.
Much to Elijah’s surprise, Dom started chuckling gently and his eyes danced with amusement when he looked at Elijah.
“What? Is that funny?” Elijah asked, slightly angry and confused by Dom’s weird reaction.
“No, no it’s not. I am just amazed that it took you this long,” Dom answered in all honesty, gently caressing Elijah’s cheek. “I’ve been waiting to hear this sentence from you for weeks now, baby.”
Elijah’s eyes widened and he just stared at Dom? “What?”
“Hey, everyone feels that way and the longer the pregnancy goes, I guess the more you’re expected to feel that way. Your back starts to hurt, you have mood swings, you can’t really sleep at night and to add to all that you’re constantly out of breath and feel like someone is playing football with your organs. I can’t imagine anyone would like feeling like that for weeks,” Dom explained, never stopping his caress of Elijah’s cheek. “I most definitely felt that way towards the end of my pregnancy and I was counting the days for it to finally be over and be able to move again. If that’s what you’re feeling, Lighe, there’s no reason to feel bad about it. I am sure everyone can understand.”
Elijah still looked unsure despite everything Dom had said and eyed him dubiously. “It doesn’t make me a bad person?”
“A bad person? No, I think it makes you normal,” Dom whispered, leaning in for a small, encouraging kiss and he was relieved when he felt Elijah respond and kiss him back. When the kiss ended, Dom pulled back slightly and moved back towards the end of the bed, confusing Elijah once again. “Lie down, baby.”
“Why?”
“Just do it, come on. Trust me.”
Elijah looked at Dom for a few seconds but saw nothing but love and understanding on his face and in his eyes and in the end he did what Dom had told him, knowing that whatever Dom would do next, would be something for him and would be something that would do him good.
Once Elijah had lain down, Dom took one of his feet and started gently massaging it, kneading it in his hands, looking at Elijah the whole time.
“You should have told me that you were feeling bad, baby. I could have tried to help you. Give you a back massage or something,” Dom started talking again after just massaging Elijah’s sore feet for a few minutes, feeling him relax more and more and even sigh happily at one point.
“I don’t want to turn into one big cry-baby, constantly moaning and bitching about something millions of people before me managed as well,” Elijah replied quietly, not looking at Dom when he talked.
Dom laughed gently, letting go of Elijah’s feet and moved up to his belly, gently rubbing it, feeling the kicks and movements of the baby inside, still as excited about it all as he had been weeks ago when he had felt it for the first time.
“And this is the one time where you can bitch and moan without anyone complaining about it or you having to feel bad about it. You’re pregnant, highly pregnant, baby. People expect you to bitch and moan.”
“Is it bad that I sometimes feel like I just want this all to be over and want the baby to be here already?” Elijah asked, taking one of Dom’s hands and holding on to it when he tried to sit up carefully.
“No, it’s to be expected, baby. Just tell me about it, okay? I remember a time when you kicked my ass and told me off for not telling you when I was in pain because you said you couldn’t smell what was wrong and needed me to tell you. I need you to tell me as well, baby. I need you to tell me when you’re feeling bad or when you’re hurting. I can’t smell it, but I want to help you, you hear me?”
Elijah nodded and rested his head on Dom’s shoulder. “I am sorry.”
“It’s okay, just tell me from now on, please.”
They stayed like that for a few minutes, before the door to their bedroom was unceremoniously burst open and Luke stood in the doorway, standing there in his pyjamas, book in his hand and looking at them both. “I am hungry.”
Dom held out his hand for his son and Luke immediately went over to him and Elijah, climbing up on Dom’s lap and cuddling into him and Elijah, repeating his statement once more when he had comfortably settled in his parents’ embrace.
“Now we can’t have that, can we?” Elijah chuckled, ruffling Luke’s hair and helping him climb over into his lap, where he immediately started touching and putting his hand on Elijah’s belly, the book he had held earlier already forgotten again. Papa’s belly made for much better entertainment than a book in Luke’s opinion.
“Better get something ready then,” Dom agreed, as he got up from the bed and watched Luke and Elijah for a few more seconds, feeling a calm settle in his body, before helping them up as well and going downstairs with them to prepare dinner.
When Luke had been put to bed and Elijah and Dom had settled on the couch for a quiet evening, Dom tried bringing up the nursery once more, hoping to be able to find out why Elijah had reacted like he had earlier.
“You know we’re going to have to start working on the nursery sometime soon, right?”
“Yeah, I know,” Elijah sighed and it wasn’t a good sigh, Dom realised.
“You don’t want to. I get that, but what I don’t get is why not?” Dom tried to explain his confusion.
Elijah looked up at Dom and tried to put into words what he was feeling. “What…what if we work on it and get it all ready and then…something happens? What…we would always have that nursery as a reminder and…I am not sure I could deal with it…,” he whispered.
“What do you mean with ‘something happens’?”
“I don’t know, but…things can still go wrong. Something can still happen to the baby, right?”
Dom looked at Elijah’s face and was surprised to see a deep rooted fear there, to see that Elijah was really scared about that.
“Hey…you’re worrying to much, way too much, baby. Everything is okay. Just as it should be. You heard the doctor, Lighe. The baby is healthy, you’re healthy. Why should something go wrong now?”
“I don’t know, but…it can happen…it has happened to other people before, Dom!”
“But it won’t happen to us!” Dom said with determination in his voice.
“You don’t know that!” Elijah just whispered back, lowering his head, averting his gaze from Dom.
“No, I don’t and there’s no way either of us will know what will happen, but so far everything has gone without problems. Everything is going just as it should and I refuse to start driving myself crazy now thinking about things that most likely won’t happen anyway. I want to enjoy this experience, I want this to be a good and happy time for us, not a time filled with worry and fear. There’s still enough time for worry and fear should something come up, but why already give your fears more credit than they deserve when everything is fine?” Dom asked, taking Elijah’s hand in his.
“I don’t know…I guess I am just really good at driving myself crazy,” Elijah sighed, still not looking up at Dom’s face.
A small smile grew on Dom’s face because Elijah had just hit the nail on the head. He was good at driving himself crazy and that was just what he was doing here as far as Dom was concerned. Dom gently made Elijah look up at him and smiled at him.
“You’re good at that indeed, baby, but you’ve got me to pull you back to reality every once in a while before you drive yourself too crazy,” he chuckled.
“That bad?” Elijah asked, chuckling slightly himself now.
“Not quite, but on the way there,” Dom winked, relieved when he saw Elijah grin as well.
“Can we agree to just blame it on the pregnancy hormones?” Elijah suggested and Dom agreed, even though he knew that it had nothing to do with hormones. It was just the kind of person Elijah was and had always been, but Dom was happy enough to blame it on the hormones if that was what Elijah wanted to do.
“So…when do you want to start on the nursery? Do you want to wait until the baby is here? We can do that, baby. It’s okay, you know?” Dom went on after a few minutes of comfortable silence between them, minutes in which their eyes had held a silent conversation about how there was nothing to be worried about and how everything would be okay and even if it wouldn’t, they would both find a way to deal with it together.
Elijah just shook his head, returning to his earlier spot and cuddling into Dom. “No…no, we should do it before the baby is here. I am just being weird, I guess.”
“It’s your call. We’ll just do it if you want to do it.”
“We should do it and probably soon. The longer we wait, the less I’ll be able to help you and the more you’ll have to do on your own,” Elijah pointed out and was surprised by Dom’s answer.
“Don’t worry, I already have someone very eager to help.”
“Who?”
“Luke,” Dom grinned. “He’s already very excited about being allowed to paint on walls. Somehow that idea really excited him,” Dom explained. “I wonder why…”
Elijah just laughed and rested his hand on Dom’s stomach. “Because he’s your son and would draw on his own t-shirts if we allowed him to.”
“Yeah, that could be a reason,” Dom chuckled before turning serious again. “But don’t worry about it. Maybe we should do it after Christmas. I am sure I could get Billy and Jack to help as well. You could just sit back then and relax and order all of us around. Sounds funny enough, right?”
Elijah grinned, imagining himself, even bigger than he was now, sitting on a chair and ordering Dom and Billy around, telling them what to do, telling them where to put things and most importantly telling them to do it all quicker than they were doing it that moment. Dom was right, it sounded funny enough.
“It sounds lovely. Do you think Billy would help?”
“He’d be offended if I didn’t ask him and would do it all on my own,” Dom pointed out and already knew that it was the truth. If Billy found out that Dom had done the whole nursery on his own, Billy would get a heart attack and would then get mightily angry at Dom for not asking him for help. That was just the kind of friend Billy was. He would help if his help was needed, Dom was sure of it.
“I really like that idea. It still gives us a few weeks time to look for designs and furniture and then you two can go all ‘Home Improvement’ on the room,” Elijah chuckled.
“Only if I can be Tim and Billy has to be Al,” Dom laughed before leaning down and kissing Elijah deeply, happy that they had finally come to a decision on the nursery.