Final Post to myself....
Well, gone and done it again.. Hopes up to high for something you knew was too good to be true... Can't fucking help it though..
She means the world to you right?
YES! Fuck how many times do I have to tell you?
As many times as you keep asking me that...
Well, shit.. she does.. and has.. for years now.. but.. that's niether here nor there.. she's too good for me.. I guess it's about time I got that through my head and stopped filling it with childish hopes and dreams... they never come true anyways.
Don't say that.. you never know what's going to happen. Right?
She's happy with him, that's all that counts.. I'll sit on the side lines.. and watch... and cry.. and watch... I thought.. that you know.. I made her happy, least that's what she made it seem like.. I guess, I don't know... Myabe she just didn't want to hurt my feelings?
I don't think she wanted to hurt you at all.. But, seriously man, get a grip....
I can't I mean.. seriously... Last weekend was you know the highlight of my life in 3 years.. I was with someone that made me happy.. and I thought I made her happy.. but from her last Post, I guess all she wanted was sex or something I don't know.. I'm so confused...
Don't worry about it.. she didn't just want you for sex... and I'm sure all the things she said to you where true...
For that time.. prolly.. But now?
Yea.. prolly still now...
Why would she say all that stuff though.. like.. seriously.. I don't know what to do..
Stay away from knives... don't worry about it.. always keep a spot in your heart open for her? you know that's all you can do.. and be happy for her...
I am happy for her.. but, shit.. I'm jealous too.. I mean.. fucking hell.. errr.... I wonder if it would have been different.. if I'd actually lived there...
I don't know.. maybe? It prolly would have been..... But then agian it's hard to tell....
O-well.. I guess I know what I am doign in sept. now...
Ohh? What's that?
Moving to Alta.. Nothing really here for me in BC, schools in Alta... some family.. I get to start over I guess... yeah.. Starting over is a good thing.. Maybe I'll be one of the guy's who doesn't finish last?
Nice guy's always finish last.
Who ever made that rule up should be fucking shot... I mean look at me... I'm fucking crying.... I'm a fucking weak ass shit disturbing bitch who's fucking crying...
You only want more what you can't have.. But don't ruin this for her.. She's truly amazing in every way...
I know.. that's why I've wanted to be with ehr for the last few years... It's only been you know recently that I saw her last.. and before then it was 3 years.. 3 fucking years!
I know.. I know.. keep in mind.. I am you too you know...
I know.. I wish you didn't have to see me like this...
I always see you like this...
yea...
You need someone in your life that'll be stable.. you know.. something that isn't garunteed... You are afaraid of being alone.. I don't like it one bit...
I know I am.. but, after everything.. can it really be helped.?
Who knows but.. let's stop talking about this.. and just.. go.. and try and sleep.. you'll see her soon enough.. maybe you can talk to her about it?
Yea.. me talk to her about it.. that's a laugh....
Remember.. She still means the world to you .. and me.. and that won't change...
Fell in love with someone who can't love me back....
God.... I'm such a fuck up....
Morgan... L.I.M.S
She means the world to you right?
YES! Fuck how many times do I have to tell you?
As many times as you keep asking me that...
Well, shit.. she does.. and has.. for years now.. but.. that's niether here nor there.. she's too good for me.. I guess it's about time I got that through my head and stopped filling it with childish hopes and dreams... they never come true anyways.
Don't say that.. you never know what's going to happen. Right?
She's happy with him, that's all that counts.. I'll sit on the side lines.. and watch... and cry.. and watch... I thought.. that you know.. I made her happy, least that's what she made it seem like.. I guess, I don't know... Myabe she just didn't want to hurt my feelings?
I don't think she wanted to hurt you at all.. But, seriously man, get a grip....
I can't I mean.. seriously... Last weekend was you know the highlight of my life in 3 years.. I was with someone that made me happy.. and I thought I made her happy.. but from her last Post, I guess all she wanted was sex or something I don't know.. I'm so confused...
Don't worry about it.. she didn't just want you for sex... and I'm sure all the things she said to you where true...
For that time.. prolly.. But now?
Yea.. prolly still now...
Why would she say all that stuff though.. like.. seriously.. I don't know what to do..
Stay away from knives... don't worry about it.. always keep a spot in your heart open for her? you know that's all you can do.. and be happy for her...
I am happy for her.. but, shit.. I'm jealous too.. I mean.. fucking hell.. errr.... I wonder if it would have been different.. if I'd actually lived there...
I don't know.. maybe? It prolly would have been..... But then agian it's hard to tell....
O-well.. I guess I know what I am doign in sept. now...
Ohh? What's that?
Moving to Alta.. Nothing really here for me in BC, schools in Alta... some family.. I get to start over I guess... yeah.. Starting over is a good thing.. Maybe I'll be one of the guy's who doesn't finish last?
Nice guy's always finish last.
Who ever made that rule up should be fucking shot... I mean look at me... I'm fucking crying.... I'm a fucking weak ass shit disturbing bitch who's fucking crying...
You only want more what you can't have.. But don't ruin this for her.. She's truly amazing in every way...
I know.. that's why I've wanted to be with ehr for the last few years... It's only been you know recently that I saw her last.. and before then it was 3 years.. 3 fucking years!
I know.. I know.. keep in mind.. I am you too you know...
I know.. I wish you didn't have to see me like this...
I always see you like this...
yea...
You need someone in your life that'll be stable.. you know.. something that isn't garunteed... You are afaraid of being alone.. I don't like it one bit...
I know I am.. but, after everything.. can it really be helped.?
Who knows but.. let's stop talking about this.. and just.. go.. and try and sleep.. you'll see her soon enough.. maybe you can talk to her about it?
Yea.. me talk to her about it.. that's a laugh....
Remember.. She still means the world to you .. and me.. and that won't change...
Fell in love with someone who can't love me back....
God.... I'm such a fuck up....
Morgan... L.I.M.S