professor pain
nick and i have been feeding tom's cat while he's away enjoying boston on spring break. professor puff (as the star-fox-looking cat is so amiably called) usually stays hidden under tom's bed as i refill the water, the food, and raid through tom's cupboards looking for goodies. the other night though, i walked into tom's and called "kitty kitty kitty" (not expecting to get any answer) and professor puff came trotting out from under the bed and procedded to meow, purr, and snuzzle all around my legs. "aw she's finally warming up to me" i thought. wrong. dead wrong. this was just part of professor puff's evil plan...to lull me into a sense of security with her soothing purrrrrrs. i started petting her head, and her sides, and puff, from what i thought was enjoyment, rolled over on her back. i reached again to pet her head and instead of a lovely handful of fur, i got a strikingly painful handful of teeth. FANGS, i tell you, FANGS. she broke the skin. "Ow! you stupid cat!" I yelled at her..and then did my best impression of an angry cat hiss and chased her back to her lair, under the bed. on both sides of my hand now, i have professor pain fang marks to remind me how much tom's cat SUCKS. and how much better the cats that live in my apartment are. they never bite me, they just cover me in love and cat fur.