cystic fibrosis

[modest_rage]

there were times when there were dishes in the sink
close remininsing about the way things used to be.
i felt myself become a euphemism my darkest stories
felt like lies, all the times i held you
my body my blood soaked in wine our lips
coursed with venoms that shined with light
that held lilies in purest turpentine
the most fragile of bones didn't last against
your cold, all the emptiness of your leaving
all the quickness of the knife as you pressed against my body
one last time before
you said goodbye

left me beginning to feel different
left me in a state where i had to writhe
my blood laced with ashes from the
burn you put inside
the memories
i left before just to say thank you
for all the good times you gave me every night
and darling, i feel that the space between
your thighs was less than the the heartbeats
after your chest heaved slightly in pain unable to
draw breath from a world which couldn't bring you medicines
loved organs left to die.

seventeen years down the line.