Blast from the past
Well the year is really about to come to an end. one week and five days if my countdown is correct.=(As it becomes more of a realization i realize that i really am sad to leave, even though i'm going to be back soon. I love my life here, it's nothing like back home. here i have a whole life, everything is important to me her enad it's my own. 'm gonna miss driving and seeing the beach every day! i don't know, i'm not too sad cuz i know i will be here almost every other weekend but it sill kinda sucks. But i wil be back Memorial day weekend to go to the perfect circle concert so i don't know why i'm even complaining.
I was talking to the girls today and we are going to plan a vacation for the summer, for like 5 or 6 days and go somewhere on the east coase, south beach, virginia beach, whatever else is over there, we are going to find out and have a KICK ASS road trip! i'm already excited and i ahven't even started planning it yet!
Today was pretty easy for the most part. Except for the fact that i didn't sleep AT ALL last night. I lied ( grammar?) in bed from like 1:30 untill like 4:00 and just couldn't sleep, then i woke up at 7:00 and i had had a dream about roger cheating on me, ain't THAT a bitch. so i fell back asleep until 10:40 when i rolled out and went to english where we just watched a movie ( Hamlet again) Then i found out YAY i have a 64.49 in my computers class and it can only go up because i turned in 1 1/2 assignments today. And the final doesn't count unless I make an A because she takes the two highest test scores.. PLUS the test is all multiple choice. HOW BAD ASS IS THAT! it is truly a miracle because i have been so stressed about this and prayed so hard and God helped me out BIG TIME! WE just reviewd in that class and then i went to art and we just took notes and taht is it untill the final. Tomorrow i have history and that is it. And after class i am going to go lay out by the pool before work, I LOVE CORPUS! My history exam is this Thursday. On monday i have speech and computers and next wednesday i have art and my english paper is due.Not too bad. The last week and a half should skate on by pretty nicely.
My dad is coming up here this saturday to take a load of stuff home and then he is coming again on the 15th and i will bring a load home on the 16th. =( I don't know why i am so paranoid about going home. for some reason i am dreading it. maybe it is just becasue it is going to be so different and i have no idea what to expect. i mean, majoirty of my close circle of friends won't be there and i really don't want to hang out with all those people i "kinda" knew in high school. i just don't really want anything to do with that. Maybe it's cuz of the situation with roger seeing as how the more i think about it the more i don't believe it will work out. Maybe it's that i'm nervous about living with my mom again, because i'm use to my own space and i don't want to fight with her all summer long. I don't know why i am so afraid of home, i mean, essentially that is what is wrong, i'm AFRAID of it or something. The second that i get within minutes of schertz my heart starts racing and i get short of breath and this unsettling feeling creeps into my stomach, one time when i came up 1518 my hands were TREMBLING as i passed the high school, fearing that i would see someone... what the hell is wrong with me? people are supposed to WANT to go home. i'm crazy maybe. I am looking forward to spending time with a select few though... people i found out are really my friends =) that i am looking forward to atleast.
I HAVE TO WRITE JAKE"S POEM!
For some reason i have been thinking about Adam lately =( not even anything that reminds me of him, just he's crossed my mind. The other day, don't ask me why i do this to myself, but i just started thinking about all the crazy shit that has gone on in the past. Adam was murdered by his friend and his own GIRLFRIEND.... how does that happen? He had his THROAT SLIT and they stole his car as a cover up. I knwo that Adam did a lot of shit in his life but he was one of the sweetest most caring funniest peson i know. He rollerbladed ALL the way to my house down 3009 when i was on house arrest! =) mhe wrote me letters and was a good friend and genuinely cared about me. His funeral was so sad, i had never seen that many people ina funeral home ( untill Sam's a few years later) and they sang the song i use to sing to him. poor adam, i know that we drifted apart the last year he was alive, but he was such an amazing person, and i can't believe that happened. Andd his poor mother and poor Shea, i can't believe the grief they went thrugh when Matt died of that heroine overdose, that happened almost a year ago. and poor shea with the baby. i remeber seeing matt awhile after adam's death, and he turned white as a ghost, it broke my heart, and i couldn't even say anything to him. their poor family. i hope that god has healed them, it is so sad.
Why was i thinking about him? i don't know, i just was and felt the need to say something about it. =) we lost a lot of people in a lot of crazy ways, but i think that was the hardest death for me to grasp... how cruel it was. And when i think abotu that, i think about casper's brother who got stabbed on accident, and Damien who got fuckin decapitated and his body pieces were found in differnet spots on 78. right that's how that went down? i tried not to ever find out exact details about that, it was something that i would rather live without knowing. and can you believe that i thought Preston had been killed too! i cried and everyting and then, come to find out he just had to take off for awhile. i will never understand why so much happened... and as long ago as it all was i still think about it relatively often. and i think about when ronnel got stabbed and all those boys have been in bar fights, pool hall fights, putting people in emergency rooms, i wonder what the hell happened to al those kids i knew when i was younger..... i know it's been years and i shouldn't think about it anymore, but sometimes i guess i cna't help it. Megan told me the other day that i always have a new story... and i guess that is true. so much happend in good ol' schertz.. atleast i turned out alright right? =)
I was talking to the girls today and we are going to plan a vacation for the summer, for like 5 or 6 days and go somewhere on the east coase, south beach, virginia beach, whatever else is over there, we are going to find out and have a KICK ASS road trip! i'm already excited and i ahven't even started planning it yet!
Today was pretty easy for the most part. Except for the fact that i didn't sleep AT ALL last night. I lied ( grammar?) in bed from like 1:30 untill like 4:00 and just couldn't sleep, then i woke up at 7:00 and i had had a dream about roger cheating on me, ain't THAT a bitch. so i fell back asleep until 10:40 when i rolled out and went to english where we just watched a movie ( Hamlet again) Then i found out YAY i have a 64.49 in my computers class and it can only go up because i turned in 1 1/2 assignments today. And the final doesn't count unless I make an A because she takes the two highest test scores.. PLUS the test is all multiple choice. HOW BAD ASS IS THAT! it is truly a miracle because i have been so stressed about this and prayed so hard and God helped me out BIG TIME! WE just reviewd in that class and then i went to art and we just took notes and taht is it untill the final. Tomorrow i have history and that is it. And after class i am going to go lay out by the pool before work, I LOVE CORPUS! My history exam is this Thursday. On monday i have speech and computers and next wednesday i have art and my english paper is due.Not too bad. The last week and a half should skate on by pretty nicely.
My dad is coming up here this saturday to take a load of stuff home and then he is coming again on the 15th and i will bring a load home on the 16th. =( I don't know why i am so paranoid about going home. for some reason i am dreading it. maybe it is just becasue it is going to be so different and i have no idea what to expect. i mean, majoirty of my close circle of friends won't be there and i really don't want to hang out with all those people i "kinda" knew in high school. i just don't really want anything to do with that. Maybe it's cuz of the situation with roger seeing as how the more i think about it the more i don't believe it will work out. Maybe it's that i'm nervous about living with my mom again, because i'm use to my own space and i don't want to fight with her all summer long. I don't know why i am so afraid of home, i mean, essentially that is what is wrong, i'm AFRAID of it or something. The second that i get within minutes of schertz my heart starts racing and i get short of breath and this unsettling feeling creeps into my stomach, one time when i came up 1518 my hands were TREMBLING as i passed the high school, fearing that i would see someone... what the hell is wrong with me? people are supposed to WANT to go home. i'm crazy maybe. I am looking forward to spending time with a select few though... people i found out are really my friends =) that i am looking forward to atleast.
I HAVE TO WRITE JAKE"S POEM!
For some reason i have been thinking about Adam lately =( not even anything that reminds me of him, just he's crossed my mind. The other day, don't ask me why i do this to myself, but i just started thinking about all the crazy shit that has gone on in the past. Adam was murdered by his friend and his own GIRLFRIEND.... how does that happen? He had his THROAT SLIT and they stole his car as a cover up. I knwo that Adam did a lot of shit in his life but he was one of the sweetest most caring funniest peson i know. He rollerbladed ALL the way to my house down 3009 when i was on house arrest! =) mhe wrote me letters and was a good friend and genuinely cared about me. His funeral was so sad, i had never seen that many people ina funeral home ( untill Sam's a few years later) and they sang the song i use to sing to him. poor adam, i know that we drifted apart the last year he was alive, but he was such an amazing person, and i can't believe that happened. Andd his poor mother and poor Shea, i can't believe the grief they went thrugh when Matt died of that heroine overdose, that happened almost a year ago. and poor shea with the baby. i remeber seeing matt awhile after adam's death, and he turned white as a ghost, it broke my heart, and i couldn't even say anything to him. their poor family. i hope that god has healed them, it is so sad.
Why was i thinking about him? i don't know, i just was and felt the need to say something about it. =) we lost a lot of people in a lot of crazy ways, but i think that was the hardest death for me to grasp... how cruel it was. And when i think abotu that, i think about casper's brother who got stabbed on accident, and Damien who got fuckin decapitated and his body pieces were found in differnet spots on 78. right that's how that went down? i tried not to ever find out exact details about that, it was something that i would rather live without knowing. and can you believe that i thought Preston had been killed too! i cried and everyting and then, come to find out he just had to take off for awhile. i will never understand why so much happened... and as long ago as it all was i still think about it relatively often. and i think about when ronnel got stabbed and all those boys have been in bar fights, pool hall fights, putting people in emergency rooms, i wonder what the hell happened to al those kids i knew when i was younger..... i know it's been years and i shouldn't think about it anymore, but sometimes i guess i cna't help it. Megan told me the other day that i always have a new story... and i guess that is true. so much happend in good ol' schertz.. atleast i turned out alright right? =)