all smiles!
so.. yesterday,..... same ol same ol....
went to work, and i actually had a good day, because i didn't have one mean phone call and everyone who called was really polite back to me! i love those days! plus i talked to brandon for like 20 minutes here and there, so of course that made me smile. =)
so i get off work and i am on my way to pick julie up from brylane and i decide to call roger back, cuz i told him i would call when i got off, and i didn't want to be a bullshitter... so i call him and we small talk for a few mintues and something is said about me messing around with im later.. and i was like no sorry! and he was like later right? and i was like no sorry buddy! and he was like why are you saying sorry? and i was like cuz it's not like that anymore, i'm kind of seeing someone... and he was like what? and i was like i'm kinda seeing someone, and it's not really anything yet, but i want to see what happens and i don't want to be the one to fuck anything up, i care about him and i don't want to fuck things up...and he was like who? and i was like i don't want to tell you roger, and he was like who? and i was like roger you're just going to laugh and talk shit, and he was like who? and i said brandon, and he got quiet so i changed the subject... and after that it was one word answers with an attitude from him... ay yay yay.. what else did he expect? for me to sit around waiting for him while he does what he does? he got really short with me, like he was mad, and i was like why are you being like that and he was like nothing i'll talk to you alter... whatever roger... i would rather talk to brandon on the phone from 22 hours away then have sex with you, i'm sorry. but he makes me happy and he is willing to try and make it work with me, in a way that roger wasn't willing to do....
and it's crazy to me that i actually told roger, and that that whole episode in my life is over.. but it is... 2 years later, it's over... and i'm happy, because brandon knows how i deserve to be treated, and he's going to treat me that way. and atleast with brandon i know he's not using me! haha! not much he can use me for 22 hours away! and on that note... i know i am thinking too far in advance... but i'm not sure about letting anything happen seriously like that between me and brandon for a long time anyway... cuz i am paranoid about getting pregnant and wouldn't that suck from half way across the freakin world... but haha, i know myself.. and i don' tknow if that will ring true when he comes home for christmas. and i'm SO excited because when he comes down here he will be staying with me most of the time and i've never been able to experience that before (because roger was a pussy) so it will be fun to be on my own with him.... ANYWAY! needless to say, i let roger go... and though it feels weird, i don't feel bad or down or anything like that... and i'm happy.
so i picked julz up, we went and walked schertz parkway.. well not all of it cuz she is a slacker! haha, but then we went to her house and had dinner and then cruised for a bit and then i took her home and went to blaine's.
blaine.. well i love the boy! i can just talk to him forever about anything and he is SO protective of me.. haha.. i swear it makes me laugh so hard... like last night he was preaching to me about getting a gun when i get my new apartment.. he kept telling me sam what ar eyou gonna do at 2 in the morning when you hear one of your windows crash and someone crawling through? you're gonna be sitting there thinking blaine was right and i'm gonna be pissed because i was rigth and something happened to you... and he was telling me that being over there on that side of town, with no one really around that i know that would help.. and i know that he is right... but the idea of having a gun in my possession freaks me out... it freaks me out for a number of reasons....1.) first and foremost.. I DON'T WANT TO KILL ANYONE! i don't want someones blood and guts splattered all over my apartment, and his response was well do you want you OWN blood and guts all over your apartment... well.. NO! haha, but u know.... 2.) i dn' twant anyone to find it and be fucking around with it.. that would be just my luck.. and he said well keep it in a drawer next to your bed... but that still makes me nervous.... 3.) and i didn't tell him this.. but i have a tendency to be emotionally unstable....and while i would never commit suicide or anything crazy like that... i don' tknow, i guess i see it as the oppotunity would still be there.... i guess i'm just paranoid of snapping or smething! haha, and going crazy.. guns have always always always made me nervous... i don' tknow... haha blaine said samantah i will BUY it for you! haha, so i guess i cna't really argue with that.. and i'm sure that after a few nights alone in my apartment on the other side of town by myself, i'm sure it would make me feel safer... but who knows.. haha blaine was like I DON 'TMEAN TO SOUND LIKE YOUR DAD OR ANYTHING! haha... bblaine you ARE my dad almost! i get more fatherly advice from him than from my own dad! blaine is the best!
um.. so after that i just called brandon on my way home and woke him.. we just talked for a few minutes cuz he has a test today.. and he needed to get some sleep. so i let him go, and right when i got home and walked into my kitchen he called to make sure i got home okay... what a sweetie... and after that i just passed out early.. it wasn't even 11:00 yet.
well, yep.. haha that is about ALL! i love you!
went to work, and i actually had a good day, because i didn't have one mean phone call and everyone who called was really polite back to me! i love those days! plus i talked to brandon for like 20 minutes here and there, so of course that made me smile. =)
so i get off work and i am on my way to pick julie up from brylane and i decide to call roger back, cuz i told him i would call when i got off, and i didn't want to be a bullshitter... so i call him and we small talk for a few mintues and something is said about me messing around with im later.. and i was like no sorry! and he was like later right? and i was like no sorry buddy! and he was like why are you saying sorry? and i was like cuz it's not like that anymore, i'm kind of seeing someone... and he was like what? and i was like i'm kinda seeing someone, and it's not really anything yet, but i want to see what happens and i don't want to be the one to fuck anything up, i care about him and i don't want to fuck things up...and he was like who? and i was like i don't want to tell you roger, and he was like who? and i was like roger you're just going to laugh and talk shit, and he was like who? and i said brandon, and he got quiet so i changed the subject... and after that it was one word answers with an attitude from him... ay yay yay.. what else did he expect? for me to sit around waiting for him while he does what he does? he got really short with me, like he was mad, and i was like why are you being like that and he was like nothing i'll talk to you alter... whatever roger... i would rather talk to brandon on the phone from 22 hours away then have sex with you, i'm sorry. but he makes me happy and he is willing to try and make it work with me, in a way that roger wasn't willing to do....
and it's crazy to me that i actually told roger, and that that whole episode in my life is over.. but it is... 2 years later, it's over... and i'm happy, because brandon knows how i deserve to be treated, and he's going to treat me that way. and atleast with brandon i know he's not using me! haha! not much he can use me for 22 hours away! and on that note... i know i am thinking too far in advance... but i'm not sure about letting anything happen seriously like that between me and brandon for a long time anyway... cuz i am paranoid about getting pregnant and wouldn't that suck from half way across the freakin world... but haha, i know myself.. and i don' tknow if that will ring true when he comes home for christmas. and i'm SO excited because when he comes down here he will be staying with me most of the time and i've never been able to experience that before (because roger was a pussy) so it will be fun to be on my own with him.... ANYWAY! needless to say, i let roger go... and though it feels weird, i don't feel bad or down or anything like that... and i'm happy.
so i picked julz up, we went and walked schertz parkway.. well not all of it cuz she is a slacker! haha, but then we went to her house and had dinner and then cruised for a bit and then i took her home and went to blaine's.
blaine.. well i love the boy! i can just talk to him forever about anything and he is SO protective of me.. haha.. i swear it makes me laugh so hard... like last night he was preaching to me about getting a gun when i get my new apartment.. he kept telling me sam what ar eyou gonna do at 2 in the morning when you hear one of your windows crash and someone crawling through? you're gonna be sitting there thinking blaine was right and i'm gonna be pissed because i was rigth and something happened to you... and he was telling me that being over there on that side of town, with no one really around that i know that would help.. and i know that he is right... but the idea of having a gun in my possession freaks me out... it freaks me out for a number of reasons....1.) first and foremost.. I DON'T WANT TO KILL ANYONE! i don't want someones blood and guts splattered all over my apartment, and his response was well do you want you OWN blood and guts all over your apartment... well.. NO! haha, but u know.... 2.) i dn' twant anyone to find it and be fucking around with it.. that would be just my luck.. and he said well keep it in a drawer next to your bed... but that still makes me nervous.... 3.) and i didn't tell him this.. but i have a tendency to be emotionally unstable....and while i would never commit suicide or anything crazy like that... i don' tknow, i guess i see it as the oppotunity would still be there.... i guess i'm just paranoid of snapping or smething! haha, and going crazy.. guns have always always always made me nervous... i don' tknow... haha blaine said samantah i will BUY it for you! haha, so i guess i cna't really argue with that.. and i'm sure that after a few nights alone in my apartment on the other side of town by myself, i'm sure it would make me feel safer... but who knows.. haha blaine was like I DON 'TMEAN TO SOUND LIKE YOUR DAD OR ANYTHING! haha... bblaine you ARE my dad almost! i get more fatherly advice from him than from my own dad! blaine is the best!
um.. so after that i just called brandon on my way home and woke him.. we just talked for a few minutes cuz he has a test today.. and he needed to get some sleep. so i let him go, and right when i got home and walked into my kitchen he called to make sure i got home okay... what a sweetie... and after that i just passed out early.. it wasn't even 11:00 yet.
well, yep.. haha that is about ALL! i love you!