Telling Blaine about Brandon!
well.. haha, yesterday was an interesting day... to say the LEAST! haha....
so i talked to brandon here and there throughout the day.... just normal.. nothing TOO exciting.. haha except he asked me if i had told blaine and i was like "i didn't know how!" haha and he just laughed... but anyway....
so on to the drama! haha!
so after work i picked up julz and we went and picked up lil samantha and went to my house.... and travis met us there... we went to arroyo's to meet shane and then came back to my place... so here's is where it goes down! haha!
i'm sitting downstairs in the front living room, trying to burn Julz a Maroon 5 cd and talking on the phone to Brandon. Julz is upstairs in my room and lil samantha and travis were out front smoking a cigarette..
so i'm chillin and then travis storms in my house yellin and hollerin and looks SO mad! and he says something about julz lying and i can only make out part of what he's saying so i tell brandon i'll call him back....
at this point travis has made it half way up the stairs and is yelling at julie and i'm just standing there with samantha. travis and julie start yelling and travis comes back down stairs and looks at me and is like i can' tdo this anymore samantha.. and then julie comes down the stairs SCREAMING and lil samantha... so i take travis by the arm and we go out on the front porch. now i'm trying to calm him down and figure out what the hell just happened and i can hear julie screaming from outside! haha!
but he tells me that samantha and he were outside smoking a cigarette and told him that there is this guy in julz training class at brylane that she flirts with and is attracted to and she has hhis name under Andrea in her phone (his name is Drew). and i understand why travis is mad... i would have probably felt the same way.... and i told him what she had told ME.. which was that Drew was in her training class and since both of them smoke they are cool and kick it and talk in class... (you know how all people who smoke just have a connection like that) but that she felt like travis would flip if she got a guy's number so she put it under a chick's name.....
so i got him to calm down a bit, and once the julie/samantha screaming subsided, he went in and talked to her.. and i just stayed outside and called brandon back.. then lil sam comes out and is like please, i need to smoke, hah, so i was like okay, brandon i'll call you back. so travis and julie are screaming at eachother upstairs, and me and sam are on the back porch.. and she's all upset cuz julz is mad at her, and she said that she's caught because she's been friends with julz for like 4 years and feels like she should be loyal, but she also feels like if she was in travis' position she would want someone to tell her.. and i understand where she is coming from too..... but i think that she should have kept it to herself, because julie didn't CHEAT on him, and she told me she had no intentions of doing that... so i don' tknow... but i see both sides i guess....
well then travis came downstairs and said that they kinda straigtened things out and all that jazz... so i decided it was about that time to go upstairs and do some damamge control with julz.... so i walked upstaris and she was just lying there crying her heart out! but i got her to calm down and wipe her face and all, and i think that she is more hurt that samantha did that to her.. because she knows travis loves her and forgives her... i don 'tknow.. but then we all went out back.. and travis made julz and sam talk about it, sort things out.. and then we all got high and that was the peace agreement... so we'll see.....
so i called brandon back after they all left... and he said that he has almost had a heartattack because he got a call from the Mission Cycle people and he thought that was it ya know.. but it turned out just to be a roster check... so it was okay =) thank GOD! i don't know, but we talked for like an hour or so, and then he went to bed.. it's kinda hard cuz the time difference.. cuz i'm trying to go out when he's trying to go to sleep, but it's whatever.... we work it....don't really remember what we talked about... bunch of random stuff i'm sure. but he got off a lil before 10 so he could crash and i went to blaine's.....oh, but while we were talking this girl he knew at BAMC that he was close to called and i asked him if he needed me to let him go.. and he was like "no, i have my priorities" and i was like awwwww!
So i'm sitting at blaine's, thinking to myself.. i HAVE to tell him tonight! haha... so we bs'd for awhile, just talking and rambling and he left the room to go get us something to drink. well when he got back i took a deep breath and i was like i have a situation i want to run by you and see what you think about it... and he was like talk.... so i ws like what would you say if i told you i liked brandon? and he was just like oh i already know yall are about to hook up.. and i was like what! and he was like yeah yall are always on the phone, and i mean, we're friends and we don't talk like that, so i knew.... and he was just like that's really cool... and that he's happy and that he hopes it works out for us... and that he thinks it will because he said he knows me and he saw me at school, and that " the thing i think that roger didn't understand was that when you were with roger no one had a chance with you, and i saw you at school, and saw how you wer with guys, and i saw guys try and throw a flirt, and youwuold just act like nothing happneed." a
nd he said that he knows brandon would be faithful and wouldn't do anything like that... and that he knows if something didn't work out, nboth me and brandon always try to keep in touch with our ex's so he thinks we would still be able to be friends... and he said that he knows what i always complain about about guys and that he knows i wouldn't have to deal with that with brandon because he's not a little boy and he knows how to treat a girl, and that after all my roger's and the like that that is what i need...
and he said he really thinks that it could work out, and that me and brandon both have had jealous, possessive, psychos and that neither one of us are like that and we both hate that, so it would be good. and then i told him that i'm just kinda wary i guess because we are never going to be in the same place, not anytime soon because i have atleast 4 years of school left.. and he was like but sam you can go to school anywhere, and i was like i know, and hollie said that too, but i'm not really the kind of person to go chase a guy half way across the country.. especially when we dn' teven know what to expect,
and then i was like and even when i'm done with school, i'm joining the airforce, and he was like well i know that this is a long time down the line, but if yall get married, yall are guaranteed to be stationed at the same place.. and i was like haha, i know blaine but i'm only 19, i'm not really trying to think that far ahead.. and i told him i know that brandon is going overseas, and a lot can change in a year... because my dad went to saudi and when he came back things weren't the same between him and my mom, because things change when you're apart for that long, people change over that long, and sometimes you change and you don't fit with the other person anymore..... and he was just like yeah it sucks that it will always have to be like that.. but i'm telling you sam, yall could do it. w
ell one of the first things he said to me was that if i am going to do this, i can't tlak to roger anymore, because if i'm going to keep in contact with roger then he is going to tell brandon it's not a good idea.. and i understand that.... and he said the's going to tell brandon to stop talking to shannon, but i told him that i don' tcare if he talks to shannon because i understand brandon's reasoning there.... and he just said that he just wants us to know that he doesn't ever want to be in the position where he has to choose because" i know you know.. i know you know.. brandon's family" and i was like yeah i know.. but i don' tthink ti will come down to that... and he said that he thought it was bad ass as long as it didn't change anything between me and him becaus ehe knows brandon knows it's not like that.
and he just asked what the deal was and i just basically told him that i don't know really, because we've never even flirted because it was never like that, and that i'm just going to go up there and see what the deal is... and he was just like well sam i really hope it works out for yall, that's bad ass... and he told me that you know he couldn't think of anyone better for me because that's his brother ya know.. and that he's still gonna give him the whole you break her heart i break your legs spiel...
and i asked him how he thought i should tell bryan, and at this point in the conversation my whole body is shaking and i can't sit still because i know if i did he would see my hands and my entire legs trembling.... and he was just like wow sam, i don't know.. i don 'tthink it is going to go over well.. and he told me that if bryan has a problem with it that i can't let that bother me, and that bryan has no reason to be mad because it's brandon and if anything he should be happy. but he agreed with me that things were probably never going to be the same... but he thinks that i should wait until he gets out of basic... and that the fact that i see bryan the weekend after i see brandon is good because i can just tell bryan that i wanted to go up there and see if there was anything even worth telling.... and take it from there.. but i swear, all through this part of the conversation i was really really shaking....
no one understands the nervoussness i have about this.... and me and brandon talked about it too... and it's just, ya know, tha'ts my best friend, we've been friends for like 7 years.... and i don't want to lose that, but i feel like if i do lose that then maybe we weren't as good of friends as i thought... and then i think well maybe his reaction will suprise me like blaine's suprised me.... but iknow, i know that if bryan gets mad, or sad, i can't let that stop me... but i know that i will be so sad... and it kills me that i am going to have to wait so long to tell him... and i really don' twant to lose a friend....and i don't want brandon to lose a friend... it sucks that this is so complicated... like it's almost like having to get the okay from everyone.... i don 'tknow.. it' sweird... i havn't dated someone in my close circle of guy friends since like larkin days....
what else did blaine say.... he is really happy about it... i was suprised at how excited he was....he was like trying to talk about our future and about us getting married and craziness...and he said that it's cool because me and brandon have known eachother for a long time and it's not like we've just been together for 6 months and he left... that we have like a foundation and we already have like a respect for eachother. which he's right.. and he told me "friends make the best lovers" and he laughed and was like just wait, you'll see.
oh, and when we were talking about bryan he was just like well how long has this been going on? and i was like you mean how long have we both known and he was like well yeah... and i just told him well he just found out like last week... and i didn't even realize i like him until at brett's like 3 days before he left, and i was like and like i told you, i really didn't expect it for me to be that hard to say bye to him.. and he was like yeah my mom told me that he said the same thing about you, because when he came inside he was pretty upset. but blaine just said that he thinks that it would work in the long run, and that he sees it really working out (and i think he was emphasizing that i would see it as work out forever)
so i talked to brandon and he said his mom called him this morning and was like so you and sam are an item now? and that she said i'm nice and atleast she sort of knows me already, and she told him that blaine is really happy for us, because i guess right after i left blaine ran inside and told her.... awwww, i love blaine! and i told brandon that blaine was suprised he didn't tell him.. and that blaine had said he was gonna let brandon tell their mom.....
Sorry, side note: blaine told me that he is glad brandon and his mom are so close because he's just kinda there with her, and that his mom needs to have someone close like that.. side note, sorry!
but they both said hs mom likes me or whatever.. and one of them said something about michelle, how their mom has alwyas liked her and talked to her.. but it's whatever.. i understand that ya know....i'm sitll like that with ryan's family..... but blaine kept telling me that shannon is going to kill herself! i was like blaine shut up don't say that, and he was like or she's gonna hire a hit man to hunt you down.. and he knocked on wood and i was like hell yeah you better knock on wood!
more later
so i talked to brandon here and there throughout the day.... just normal.. nothing TOO exciting.. haha except he asked me if i had told blaine and i was like "i didn't know how!" haha and he just laughed... but anyway....
so on to the drama! haha!
so after work i picked up julz and we went and picked up lil samantha and went to my house.... and travis met us there... we went to arroyo's to meet shane and then came back to my place... so here's is where it goes down! haha!
i'm sitting downstairs in the front living room, trying to burn Julz a Maroon 5 cd and talking on the phone to Brandon. Julz is upstairs in my room and lil samantha and travis were out front smoking a cigarette..
so i'm chillin and then travis storms in my house yellin and hollerin and looks SO mad! and he says something about julz lying and i can only make out part of what he's saying so i tell brandon i'll call him back....
at this point travis has made it half way up the stairs and is yelling at julie and i'm just standing there with samantha. travis and julie start yelling and travis comes back down stairs and looks at me and is like i can' tdo this anymore samantha.. and then julie comes down the stairs SCREAMING and lil samantha... so i take travis by the arm and we go out on the front porch. now i'm trying to calm him down and figure out what the hell just happened and i can hear julie screaming from outside! haha!
but he tells me that samantha and he were outside smoking a cigarette and told him that there is this guy in julz training class at brylane that she flirts with and is attracted to and she has hhis name under Andrea in her phone (his name is Drew). and i understand why travis is mad... i would have probably felt the same way.... and i told him what she had told ME.. which was that Drew was in her training class and since both of them smoke they are cool and kick it and talk in class... (you know how all people who smoke just have a connection like that) but that she felt like travis would flip if she got a guy's number so she put it under a chick's name.....
so i got him to calm down a bit, and once the julie/samantha screaming subsided, he went in and talked to her.. and i just stayed outside and called brandon back.. then lil sam comes out and is like please, i need to smoke, hah, so i was like okay, brandon i'll call you back. so travis and julie are screaming at eachother upstairs, and me and sam are on the back porch.. and she's all upset cuz julz is mad at her, and she said that she's caught because she's been friends with julz for like 4 years and feels like she should be loyal, but she also feels like if she was in travis' position she would want someone to tell her.. and i understand where she is coming from too..... but i think that she should have kept it to herself, because julie didn't CHEAT on him, and she told me she had no intentions of doing that... so i don' tknow... but i see both sides i guess....
well then travis came downstairs and said that they kinda straigtened things out and all that jazz... so i decided it was about that time to go upstairs and do some damamge control with julz.... so i walked upstaris and she was just lying there crying her heart out! but i got her to calm down and wipe her face and all, and i think that she is more hurt that samantha did that to her.. because she knows travis loves her and forgives her... i don 'tknow.. but then we all went out back.. and travis made julz and sam talk about it, sort things out.. and then we all got high and that was the peace agreement... so we'll see.....
so i called brandon back after they all left... and he said that he has almost had a heartattack because he got a call from the Mission Cycle people and he thought that was it ya know.. but it turned out just to be a roster check... so it was okay =) thank GOD! i don't know, but we talked for like an hour or so, and then he went to bed.. it's kinda hard cuz the time difference.. cuz i'm trying to go out when he's trying to go to sleep, but it's whatever.... we work it....don't really remember what we talked about... bunch of random stuff i'm sure. but he got off a lil before 10 so he could crash and i went to blaine's.....oh, but while we were talking this girl he knew at BAMC that he was close to called and i asked him if he needed me to let him go.. and he was like "no, i have my priorities" and i was like awwwww!
So i'm sitting at blaine's, thinking to myself.. i HAVE to tell him tonight! haha... so we bs'd for awhile, just talking and rambling and he left the room to go get us something to drink. well when he got back i took a deep breath and i was like i have a situation i want to run by you and see what you think about it... and he was like talk.... so i ws like what would you say if i told you i liked brandon? and he was just like oh i already know yall are about to hook up.. and i was like what! and he was like yeah yall are always on the phone, and i mean, we're friends and we don't talk like that, so i knew.... and he was just like that's really cool... and that he's happy and that he hopes it works out for us... and that he thinks it will because he said he knows me and he saw me at school, and that " the thing i think that roger didn't understand was that when you were with roger no one had a chance with you, and i saw you at school, and saw how you wer with guys, and i saw guys try and throw a flirt, and youwuold just act like nothing happneed." a
nd he said that he knows brandon would be faithful and wouldn't do anything like that... and that he knows if something didn't work out, nboth me and brandon always try to keep in touch with our ex's so he thinks we would still be able to be friends... and he said that he knows what i always complain about about guys and that he knows i wouldn't have to deal with that with brandon because he's not a little boy and he knows how to treat a girl, and that after all my roger's and the like that that is what i need...
and he said he really thinks that it could work out, and that me and brandon both have had jealous, possessive, psychos and that neither one of us are like that and we both hate that, so it would be good. and then i told him that i'm just kinda wary i guess because we are never going to be in the same place, not anytime soon because i have atleast 4 years of school left.. and he was like but sam you can go to school anywhere, and i was like i know, and hollie said that too, but i'm not really the kind of person to go chase a guy half way across the country.. especially when we dn' teven know what to expect,
and then i was like and even when i'm done with school, i'm joining the airforce, and he was like well i know that this is a long time down the line, but if yall get married, yall are guaranteed to be stationed at the same place.. and i was like haha, i know blaine but i'm only 19, i'm not really trying to think that far ahead.. and i told him i know that brandon is going overseas, and a lot can change in a year... because my dad went to saudi and when he came back things weren't the same between him and my mom, because things change when you're apart for that long, people change over that long, and sometimes you change and you don't fit with the other person anymore..... and he was just like yeah it sucks that it will always have to be like that.. but i'm telling you sam, yall could do it. w
ell one of the first things he said to me was that if i am going to do this, i can't tlak to roger anymore, because if i'm going to keep in contact with roger then he is going to tell brandon it's not a good idea.. and i understand that.... and he said the's going to tell brandon to stop talking to shannon, but i told him that i don' tcare if he talks to shannon because i understand brandon's reasoning there.... and he just said that he just wants us to know that he doesn't ever want to be in the position where he has to choose because" i know you know.. i know you know.. brandon's family" and i was like yeah i know.. but i don' tthink ti will come down to that... and he said that he thought it was bad ass as long as it didn't change anything between me and him becaus ehe knows brandon knows it's not like that.
and he just asked what the deal was and i just basically told him that i don't know really, because we've never even flirted because it was never like that, and that i'm just going to go up there and see what the deal is... and he was just like well sam i really hope it works out for yall, that's bad ass... and he told me that you know he couldn't think of anyone better for me because that's his brother ya know.. and that he's still gonna give him the whole you break her heart i break your legs spiel...
and i asked him how he thought i should tell bryan, and at this point in the conversation my whole body is shaking and i can't sit still because i know if i did he would see my hands and my entire legs trembling.... and he was just like wow sam, i don't know.. i don 'tthink it is going to go over well.. and he told me that if bryan has a problem with it that i can't let that bother me, and that bryan has no reason to be mad because it's brandon and if anything he should be happy. but he agreed with me that things were probably never going to be the same... but he thinks that i should wait until he gets out of basic... and that the fact that i see bryan the weekend after i see brandon is good because i can just tell bryan that i wanted to go up there and see if there was anything even worth telling.... and take it from there.. but i swear, all through this part of the conversation i was really really shaking....
no one understands the nervoussness i have about this.... and me and brandon talked about it too... and it's just, ya know, tha'ts my best friend, we've been friends for like 7 years.... and i don't want to lose that, but i feel like if i do lose that then maybe we weren't as good of friends as i thought... and then i think well maybe his reaction will suprise me like blaine's suprised me.... but iknow, i know that if bryan gets mad, or sad, i can't let that stop me... but i know that i will be so sad... and it kills me that i am going to have to wait so long to tell him... and i really don' twant to lose a friend....and i don't want brandon to lose a friend... it sucks that this is so complicated... like it's almost like having to get the okay from everyone.... i don 'tknow.. it' sweird... i havn't dated someone in my close circle of guy friends since like larkin days....
what else did blaine say.... he is really happy about it... i was suprised at how excited he was....he was like trying to talk about our future and about us getting married and craziness...and he said that it's cool because me and brandon have known eachother for a long time and it's not like we've just been together for 6 months and he left... that we have like a foundation and we already have like a respect for eachother. which he's right.. and he told me "friends make the best lovers" and he laughed and was like just wait, you'll see.
oh, and when we were talking about bryan he was just like well how long has this been going on? and i was like you mean how long have we both known and he was like well yeah... and i just told him well he just found out like last week... and i didn't even realize i like him until at brett's like 3 days before he left, and i was like and like i told you, i really didn't expect it for me to be that hard to say bye to him.. and he was like yeah my mom told me that he said the same thing about you, because when he came inside he was pretty upset. but blaine just said that he thinks that it would work in the long run, and that he sees it really working out (and i think he was emphasizing that i would see it as work out forever)
so i talked to brandon and he said his mom called him this morning and was like so you and sam are an item now? and that she said i'm nice and atleast she sort of knows me already, and she told him that blaine is really happy for us, because i guess right after i left blaine ran inside and told her.... awwww, i love blaine! and i told brandon that blaine was suprised he didn't tell him.. and that blaine had said he was gonna let brandon tell their mom.....
Sorry, side note: blaine told me that he is glad brandon and his mom are so close because he's just kinda there with her, and that his mom needs to have someone close like that.. side note, sorry!
but they both said hs mom likes me or whatever.. and one of them said something about michelle, how their mom has alwyas liked her and talked to her.. but it's whatever.. i understand that ya know....i'm sitll like that with ryan's family..... but blaine kept telling me that shannon is going to kill herself! i was like blaine shut up don't say that, and he was like or she's gonna hire a hit man to hunt you down.. and he knocked on wood and i was like hell yeah you better knock on wood!
more later