:sigh:
i miss roger... well the way it use to be... i'm very ahppy that we are able to remain good friends, but it's like being forced into a smaller shell, when before i had more room to move and grow... does that make sense? it's not the same, obviously because we aren't together, but i'm not use to it. it's like walking on egg shells or soemthing. i'm insecure and i'm unsure of how things are supposed to be between us. i mean does he still love me? i mean i don't want us to be together, cuz i know it would never work, but i mean, i still love him and i feel like he just looks at me with no feelings. and i guess that that is how it is supposed to be once you have broken up, but i'm not there yet, and pretending like i am is increasingly difficult.
i feel like i'm suffocating, like an indescribable feeling, like i can't breathe and that sadness nearly consumes me, but i know i'll be okay... it is just really hard now. can i really play the friend part right now? i mean maybe eventually but now? already? i don't think so. as much as i want to see him, talk to him, be there for him, i want to do that because i love him, not because we're "best friends" and i don't think it is good for either one of us if i pretend... who knows....
"She wanted to move on, but how could she do that and still stay by your side? Because to be your friend part of herself she'll have to hide" (this is the quote i wanted to post most but here are some others i came across while looking that seem to apply)
It is much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into a friendship.
Yeah we make great friends but it just isn't the same. - good charlotte
i just wanted to get over you, but I can't stop thinking about you, not a second goes by that you're not in my head, you me over again and again but I still remained your friend, it's time for this to end
I'm not stable enough emotionally to even hug you without meaning it with every ounce of me. -bella
I miss you. not enough to want you back, just enough for it to hurt
She drives away feeling worthless, used again but nothings different she'd stay the night but knows he doesn't care-Something corporate
I miss him, you know? I'm just not used to being without him. But I wanted him to think that I was. - Jack and Jill
Do me a favor. Watch what you say around me. Maybe you're too blind to see it, but I'm still in love with you
When im with you, anything can happen. You make me vulnerable. I dont trust myself with you because I love you too much. And I'd do anything you wanted just to have you hold me again
I don't know if I should smile because he's my friend, or cry because that's all he'll ever be
I know you just want to be friends...and that's ok with me, but please, just stop making me fall even harder
there's this guy i know... we used to be something... now, we're just people
it's absurd, who you love and why, and how you can't turn it off when you desperately want to
My true love and my best friend are one in the same. So how do I tell my true love good-bye and still hold on to my best friend
I know you think of me as just a friend, and that crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I have to say it ... I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. ~ Chasing Amy
The sooner you realize things will never be the same again, the sooner you can move on. - The O.C.
how do you leave the past behind, when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart? --rent
Look, I know this sucks for you because of him and I want to be there for you, I do, but I can't do this anymore. I can't keep being your second choice-- not when you're my first. -Everwood
I don't mean to sound so vengeful or to hit you when you're down, but you took my house of dreams and burned it to the ground, now you say you're really sorry, well that's really nice to hear, but where were you when everything we had got up and disappeared? - Evan and Jaron
i'm so sad, i mean i love him, and i know that we could never be together because it would never be the same, but i still iwsh it could. it can't, but i wish. desperately wish. wish that he had never hurt me, wish he had never been with her, with them, wish he hadn't lied, wish it wasn't so easy for him to let me go, but most of all wish it wasn't so hard for me to let him leave. i wish there was a switch i could turn and be okay with being his friend, be okay with being "good friends", and not feel so wretched every time i leave his presence. wish that constant nagging would disappear...
i know that i have been very close with many guys, very deep relationships with many, but i haven't had this much difficulty since larkin, and i am scared to death that it is going to take the same toll on me. larkin led me on for 6 years! SIX YEARS! before i finally let him go for good, i can't go through that again, yet eerily the situation is the same. fell for a friend of both of ours, lied and was to afraid to tell me, ended it and stayed friends, then would date/everything else only for him to find someone else, then return once again when that person was gone, only to leave when he found someone else, just to come back again, time after time after time.
roger always comes back, now that he realizes i don't trust him emotionally, he has still come back in his own way, enough to give me foolish hope that i know i shouldn't have.... but i don't want to want him for 6 more years... my heart just can't do it.. and my head can't either... i miss him, but i have to get better, i've already let him go, i know he's not coming back, but i'm still not ready to accept it
i feel like i'm suffocating, like an indescribable feeling, like i can't breathe and that sadness nearly consumes me, but i know i'll be okay... it is just really hard now. can i really play the friend part right now? i mean maybe eventually but now? already? i don't think so. as much as i want to see him, talk to him, be there for him, i want to do that because i love him, not because we're "best friends" and i don't think it is good for either one of us if i pretend... who knows....
"She wanted to move on, but how could she do that and still stay by your side? Because to be your friend part of herself she'll have to hide" (this is the quote i wanted to post most but here are some others i came across while looking that seem to apply)
It is much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into a friendship.
Yeah we make great friends but it just isn't the same. - good charlotte
i just wanted to get over you, but I can't stop thinking about you, not a second goes by that you're not in my head, you me over again and again but I still remained your friend, it's time for this to end
I'm not stable enough emotionally to even hug you without meaning it with every ounce of me. -bella
I miss you. not enough to want you back, just enough for it to hurt
She drives away feeling worthless, used again but nothings different she'd stay the night but knows he doesn't care-Something corporate
I miss him, you know? I'm just not used to being without him. But I wanted him to think that I was. - Jack and Jill
Do me a favor. Watch what you say around me. Maybe you're too blind to see it, but I'm still in love with you
When im with you, anything can happen. You make me vulnerable. I dont trust myself with you because I love you too much. And I'd do anything you wanted just to have you hold me again
I don't know if I should smile because he's my friend, or cry because that's all he'll ever be
I know you just want to be friends...and that's ok with me, but please, just stop making me fall even harder
there's this guy i know... we used to be something... now, we're just people
it's absurd, who you love and why, and how you can't turn it off when you desperately want to
My true love and my best friend are one in the same. So how do I tell my true love good-bye and still hold on to my best friend
I know you think of me as just a friend, and that crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I have to say it ... I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. ~ Chasing Amy
The sooner you realize things will never be the same again, the sooner you can move on. - The O.C.
how do you leave the past behind, when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart? --rent
Look, I know this sucks for you because of him and I want to be there for you, I do, but I can't do this anymore. I can't keep being your second choice-- not when you're my first. -Everwood
I don't mean to sound so vengeful or to hit you when you're down, but you took my house of dreams and burned it to the ground, now you say you're really sorry, well that's really nice to hear, but where were you when everything we had got up and disappeared? - Evan and Jaron
i'm so sad, i mean i love him, and i know that we could never be together because it would never be the same, but i still iwsh it could. it can't, but i wish. desperately wish. wish that he had never hurt me, wish he had never been with her, with them, wish he hadn't lied, wish it wasn't so easy for him to let me go, but most of all wish it wasn't so hard for me to let him leave. i wish there was a switch i could turn and be okay with being his friend, be okay with being "good friends", and not feel so wretched every time i leave his presence. wish that constant nagging would disappear...
i know that i have been very close with many guys, very deep relationships with many, but i haven't had this much difficulty since larkin, and i am scared to death that it is going to take the same toll on me. larkin led me on for 6 years! SIX YEARS! before i finally let him go for good, i can't go through that again, yet eerily the situation is the same. fell for a friend of both of ours, lied and was to afraid to tell me, ended it and stayed friends, then would date/everything else only for him to find someone else, then return once again when that person was gone, only to leave when he found someone else, just to come back again, time after time after time.
roger always comes back, now that he realizes i don't trust him emotionally, he has still come back in his own way, enough to give me foolish hope that i know i shouldn't have.... but i don't want to want him for 6 more years... my heart just can't do it.. and my head can't either... i miss him, but i have to get better, i've already let him go, i know he's not coming back, but i'm still not ready to accept it