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It's summer and I've been spending at lot of time at the movies. And because all of you care SO much, I thought I'd let you know what I thought about some of the flicks.
Iron Man - 8 out of 10 Lightning Bolts
Iron Man is, in fact, a kick-ass summer movie. It's an action movie that's not dumb, a super hero movie that's sort of plausible, an American movie that makes you feel sort of good about America, and it even hold up on multiple viewings. I know this because I have seen it three times, though not entirely on purpose. Robert Downey Jr. is remarkably suave as Tony Stark, weapons designer/manufacturer extraordinaire, who somehow seems to develop a heart of gold after being held hostage in the middle of the desert by crazy terrorists. I thought he was great, actually, by far the highlight of the movie, which is good because he basically is the movie. Terrance Howard doesn't really get much of a role as Stark's buddy in the military, but he has enough good moments to guarantee his part in the sequel. Jeff Bridges is remarkably creepy as the business partner who is secretly an evil psychopath, and even manages to look nothing like himself most of the time. And then there's Gwyneth Paltrow, who almost manages to be a girl in a super hero movie without being lame at all. As Tony's assistant and general manager of his life she actually comes across as smart and competent and totally in control of everything, and she maintains that throughout almost the entire movie. Almost. Her reverting into typical girl sidekick in action movie cliche mode during the big fight scene is even more disappointing because of how non-lame she is in the rest of the film, but she manages to recover by the end of the film. For the most part.
Overall: Good stuff if you want mostly mindless entertainment which will leave you feeling good about America's ability to at least make movies about kicking ass and keeping the world safe, even if they are mostly fiction.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - 7 out of 10 Lightning Bolts
I grew up as an Indiana Jones fan. I had all of the movies taped off of TV, I had some promotional poster to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in my room for years, the song "Anything Goes" will for me forever be associated with some random Asian language and gongs, and I still periodically have an urge to say "fortune and glory, Dr. Jones." So I was curious, to say the least, about this new addition to the franchise. Perhaps the best bit of casting in the movie is bringing back Karen Allen to reprise her role as Marion Ravenwood from Raiders of the Lost Ark, a.k.a. the only competent, non-evil girl in an Indiana Jones flick. Her character in this movie was a bit less competent than she used to be, and the scenes between her and Indy were a bit more cutesy and lovey-dovey than they really had any right to be given the back-story we get, but it was still a nice touch. Shia LeBeouf was actually quite good and amusing as the young sidekick, though I'm not quite sure why he had to make his entrance looking exactly like an extra from The Wild One. Maybe I just missed that, though, and it was justified somehow. His hair, on the other hand, is pretty amazing. As are his motorcycle boots. The plot is outlandish and ridiculous, but fun, and Cate Blanchett is somewhat terrifying as the evil Soviet military person. The action scenes totally defy logic (for instance all of the cars in the chase scene kept driving and never lost speed, no matter who shot at them, what happened to the driver, whether or not people were standing on them and fencing between cars, or what) but were enjoyable, and overall it seemed like an exercise in good old-fashioned mindless entertainment. Not quite as good as Iron Man, but definitely good enough.
Overall: Ridiculous campy fun, if you can handle the fact that the leads are old and the plot inconsistencies are blatant enough that even I noticed them.
The Incredible Hulk - 5 out of 10 Lightning Bolts
The only reason this movie is even getting 5 out of 10 lightning bolts is because it stars Edward Norton, and Edward Norton, as everyone knows, is amazing. Other than that, though, the movie was sort of lame. The way that they found Edward Norton down in the jungles of Brazil (contaminated soda? drunk by someone in Milwaukee? because old white guys in Wisconsin drink soda from Brazil?) was lame. The way that the brilliant scientist (Norton) turned into a combination of King Kong and Tarzan (in other words, huge, stupid, and essentially incapable of speech) when he turned into the Hulk was lame. The fact that the other brilliant scientist (Liv Tyler) showed no trace at all of being brilliant and was essentially just one stupid, annoying, smitten, pretty girlfriend/sidekick with no real part and no real point was definitely lame. The movie was entertaining enough, I suppose, and the effects were ok, but I couldn't help waiting for the movie to get to the point and stop being so damn LAME.
Overall: Eh. I've seen worse, but I've certainly seen better. Much, much better. If not for Edward Norton, this movie would have no point at all.
Speed Racer - 7 out of 10 Lightning Bolts
Why did everyone pan this movie? I thought it was great. It was pretty, it was fun, the cast was surprisingly talented (John Goodman and Susan Sarandon as Speed's parents, Christina Ricci as the girl, and the fabulous Emil Hirsch as Speed), the effects were pretty awesome, and it didn't try to be anything it didn't need to be. Emil Hirsh, especially, does a fabulous job being serious and driven while managing to look totally...dreamy. Oh man, his hair was amazing. And, I mean, the racing scenes were great, there was actual emotion and conflict in the plot (and there was a plot), the cars were sweet... And the girl isn't even annoying or superfluous! Thanks, Christina Ricci! This was a great piece of trippy action movie fare, and it should have done way better than it did. I wouldn't be surprised if it got a second life on DVD.
Overall: So, so fun. And, dear god, I hope somewhere out there there are teen magazine photos of Emil Hirsch in that film. Between the tight clothes and the amazing hair... that boy will be famous someday. Really, really famous.
The Chronicles of Narnaia: Prince Caspian - 3 out of 10 Lightning Bolts
I don't know how I got tricked into actually wanting to see this movie. It somehow looked like it might be a quality piece of teenage medieval fighting, or something. It wasn't. The characters were basically all annoying, the plot wasn't so great (sorry to all of you who loved the books, I was never really a fan), the religious imagery was WAY heavy-handed, the "romance" felt about as exciting as a ton of bricks, and pretty much I couldn't wait for it to be over. Actually right after I saw this I saw Iron Man for the third time, and that was still FAR more exciting than seeing this one once.
Overall: Some people said they liked it, and I wondered if we saw the same movie.
So there you go, kids. I'll try to keep you all updated as my summer of spending too much time at the movies continues!
Iron Man - 8 out of 10 Lightning Bolts
Iron Man is, in fact, a kick-ass summer movie. It's an action movie that's not dumb, a super hero movie that's sort of plausible, an American movie that makes you feel sort of good about America, and it even hold up on multiple viewings. I know this because I have seen it three times, though not entirely on purpose. Robert Downey Jr. is remarkably suave as Tony Stark, weapons designer/manufacturer extraordinaire, who somehow seems to develop a heart of gold after being held hostage in the middle of the desert by crazy terrorists. I thought he was great, actually, by far the highlight of the movie, which is good because he basically is the movie. Terrance Howard doesn't really get much of a role as Stark's buddy in the military, but he has enough good moments to guarantee his part in the sequel. Jeff Bridges is remarkably creepy as the business partner who is secretly an evil psychopath, and even manages to look nothing like himself most of the time. And then there's Gwyneth Paltrow, who almost manages to be a girl in a super hero movie without being lame at all. As Tony's assistant and general manager of his life she actually comes across as smart and competent and totally in control of everything, and she maintains that throughout almost the entire movie. Almost. Her reverting into typical girl sidekick in action movie cliche mode during the big fight scene is even more disappointing because of how non-lame she is in the rest of the film, but she manages to recover by the end of the film. For the most part.
Overall: Good stuff if you want mostly mindless entertainment which will leave you feeling good about America's ability to at least make movies about kicking ass and keeping the world safe, even if they are mostly fiction.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - 7 out of 10 Lightning Bolts
I grew up as an Indiana Jones fan. I had all of the movies taped off of TV, I had some promotional poster to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in my room for years, the song "Anything Goes" will for me forever be associated with some random Asian language and gongs, and I still periodically have an urge to say "fortune and glory, Dr. Jones." So I was curious, to say the least, about this new addition to the franchise. Perhaps the best bit of casting in the movie is bringing back Karen Allen to reprise her role as Marion Ravenwood from Raiders of the Lost Ark, a.k.a. the only competent, non-evil girl in an Indiana Jones flick. Her character in this movie was a bit less competent than she used to be, and the scenes between her and Indy were a bit more cutesy and lovey-dovey than they really had any right to be given the back-story we get, but it was still a nice touch. Shia LeBeouf was actually quite good and amusing as the young sidekick, though I'm not quite sure why he had to make his entrance looking exactly like an extra from The Wild One. Maybe I just missed that, though, and it was justified somehow. His hair, on the other hand, is pretty amazing. As are his motorcycle boots. The plot is outlandish and ridiculous, but fun, and Cate Blanchett is somewhat terrifying as the evil Soviet military person. The action scenes totally defy logic (for instance all of the cars in the chase scene kept driving and never lost speed, no matter who shot at them, what happened to the driver, whether or not people were standing on them and fencing between cars, or what) but were enjoyable, and overall it seemed like an exercise in good old-fashioned mindless entertainment. Not quite as good as Iron Man, but definitely good enough.
Overall: Ridiculous campy fun, if you can handle the fact that the leads are old and the plot inconsistencies are blatant enough that even I noticed them.
The Incredible Hulk - 5 out of 10 Lightning Bolts
The only reason this movie is even getting 5 out of 10 lightning bolts is because it stars Edward Norton, and Edward Norton, as everyone knows, is amazing. Other than that, though, the movie was sort of lame. The way that they found Edward Norton down in the jungles of Brazil (contaminated soda? drunk by someone in Milwaukee? because old white guys in Wisconsin drink soda from Brazil?) was lame. The way that the brilliant scientist (Norton) turned into a combination of King Kong and Tarzan (in other words, huge, stupid, and essentially incapable of speech) when he turned into the Hulk was lame. The fact that the other brilliant scientist (Liv Tyler) showed no trace at all of being brilliant and was essentially just one stupid, annoying, smitten, pretty girlfriend/sidekick with no real part and no real point was definitely lame. The movie was entertaining enough, I suppose, and the effects were ok, but I couldn't help waiting for the movie to get to the point and stop being so damn LAME.
Overall: Eh. I've seen worse, but I've certainly seen better. Much, much better. If not for Edward Norton, this movie would have no point at all.
Speed Racer - 7 out of 10 Lightning Bolts
Why did everyone pan this movie? I thought it was great. It was pretty, it was fun, the cast was surprisingly talented (John Goodman and Susan Sarandon as Speed's parents, Christina Ricci as the girl, and the fabulous Emil Hirsch as Speed), the effects were pretty awesome, and it didn't try to be anything it didn't need to be. Emil Hirsh, especially, does a fabulous job being serious and driven while managing to look totally...dreamy. Oh man, his hair was amazing. And, I mean, the racing scenes were great, there was actual emotion and conflict in the plot (and there was a plot), the cars were sweet... And the girl isn't even annoying or superfluous! Thanks, Christina Ricci! This was a great piece of trippy action movie fare, and it should have done way better than it did. I wouldn't be surprised if it got a second life on DVD.
Overall: So, so fun. And, dear god, I hope somewhere out there there are teen magazine photos of Emil Hirsch in that film. Between the tight clothes and the amazing hair... that boy will be famous someday. Really, really famous.
The Chronicles of Narnaia: Prince Caspian - 3 out of 10 Lightning Bolts
I don't know how I got tricked into actually wanting to see this movie. It somehow looked like it might be a quality piece of teenage medieval fighting, or something. It wasn't. The characters were basically all annoying, the plot wasn't so great (sorry to all of you who loved the books, I was never really a fan), the religious imagery was WAY heavy-handed, the "romance" felt about as exciting as a ton of bricks, and pretty much I couldn't wait for it to be over. Actually right after I saw this I saw Iron Man for the third time, and that was still FAR more exciting than seeing this one once.
Overall: Some people said they liked it, and I wondered if we saw the same movie.
So there you go, kids. I'll try to keep you all updated as my summer of spending too much time at the movies continues!