Days go By
Title: Days go by
Author: Modern_artist
Beta: Tickera
Genre: Angst [ very bad effort ]
Pairing: Akame
Summary: Jin and Kame break up giving Jin inspiration to right a song.
Warning: Flash backs occur often they are under ****** and thoughts are in italics.
Jin rolled onto his side and glanced at the alarm clock on the bed side table. It was 6:30 in the morning, and like most nights he had barely gotten any sleep.
I don’t understand. How could I have let this happen? He was my best friend, my lover, he was my everything and I let this happen....
These thoughts rushed through Jin’s head day in and day out; there wasn’t a second when he didn’t wish that he could hold him in his arms once more. Jin groaned as he heaved himself out of his bed, yawning as he tiredly stumbled his way into the bathroom. Clumsily he searched for the light switch, Jin didn't even notice the absence if his former lover's possessions in the shower as he turned the taps on. He stepped in front of the mirror, running his hands through his hair as he stared at his reflection. “How did this all happen? What did I even do wrong?” Jin mumbled as he slipped out of his boxers and into the shower. The hot water rushed onto his head and down his face.
**** [Flash back] ****
He walked through the door of his apartment, calling out for his lover’s attention but to no avail. Stepping further into his home and into the kitchen he noticed a container on the table with a note.
Jin,
I realise now that you were not the person I once thought you were.
I loved you with all my heart but it’s quite clear now that you didn’t feel the same way. I couldn’t do it not anymore I’m sorry but I had to go.
Dinner is made for you.
-
Jin read the note with tears streaming down his face. Many questions were going through his head at this time and he had no clue about what he was going to do. Opening the container he found his favourite meal. Jin collapsed on the floor hugging his knees tightly to his chest as he cried for his lost love.
**** [End Flash back] ****
Jin’s tears mixed with the hot steamy water as he remembered the memory, but as painful as it was Jin constantly found himself thinking about it. Stepping out of the shower Jin slowly walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. At the end of his bed there was a tall pile of clothes digging through the pile he found a pair of clean jeans and a shirt. He grabbed his bag for work and headed for the front door but as he walked past the kitchen he could almost smell the scent of sugared pancakes and could almost hear a familiar voice telling him to eat slower or he’ll choke. Sighing, Jin closed the door.
****
“Jin…Jin” Kazuya whispered softly in Jin’s ear to wake him from his slumber.
“Kazuya?” Jin asked sleepily as he sat up in bed letting his eyes adjust to the sunlight. “What….. What are you doing?” Jin asked as he pulled the covers over his head to block out the sun.
“I made you breakfast” Kazuya grinned “Delicious pancakes; my special recipe.”
“PANCAKES” Jin exclaimed in a childish manner as he, quickly jumped out of bed and ran into the kitchen. Kazuya walked slowly into the kitchen as he watched Jin eat at an inhuman pace.
“Jin slow down or you might choke” he giggled as he lent on the bench. Pouring Jin and himself a cup of coffee he walked over to the table and sat across from his lover.
“Teessssee arggh geeerratte” Jin said with a full mouth
“Would you like to try that again?” Kazuya asked amused
“These pancakes are great thanks Kazu-Chan.”
****
Jin burst through the doors of the Jimusho in a fluster of activity t-tun stared at him. “Your late again Jin” Koki stated, slouching on the sofa.
“Mmmmm, yeah sorry about that” Jin said distracted. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing yet we were waiting for you so we can start to go through the choreography” Ueda said in a matter of fact tone.
“Sorry well we better get to work then” smiled Jin, dumping his bag in the corner.
“Oh by the way Bakanishi you and Kame-chan have practice for the concert at 3 o’clock.” Maru said, glancing at Kame, who was staring blankly at the wall opposite him.
Why does he have to do that, it just makes it harder to even look at him. Jin thought.
“Hey Jin are you dancing with us or what?” Taguchi yelled from across the room snapping Jin out of his thoughts.
“Coming” Jin sighed.
As they rehearsed Jin caught Kazuya glancing at him a few times. Jin paused, Are those……. Tears? He thought as Kazuya wiped his eyes. Jin’s hope soon returned only to disappear just as quick when Kame glared at him. “Are you dancing or staring Bakanishi?” Kame exclaimed
Not knowing what to do he just sighed and continued dancing.
After a long day of work Jin flopped onto the couch completely exhausted but still sleep would not overcome him. He laid there staring at the ceiling and thinking about who he wanted to be holding tightly in his arms at night. One tear fell then another until he was silently crying. Jin slowly sat up resting his head in his hands and his sobs slowly became audible.
Would you wait for me today if tomorrow I was gone? You try to say goodbye but your heart won’t let me go Jin thought. Pretty soon he came up with a melody for the two lines
He walked into his room and looked around; it seemed so empty with out Kazuya’s belongings. Glancing at his desk his eyes caught site of a picture frame lying down, taking a seat at the desk Jin picked it up and looked at the photo. It was a picture of him and Kame dressed up to go to a club for Kame’s birthday
****
Wilds of my heart, Wilds of my heart Wilds of my hea…..
“Moshi moshi” Jin answered his phone. “Ahuh, yeah we are just about to leave so you have that thing with the other thing?” Jin whispered suspiciously into the phone.
“What are you talking about Bakanishi?” Ueda asked from the other end.
“You know the thing for Kame”
“Yeah it’s all ready so hurry up” Ueda said before hanging up.
“Kame we are gonna be late for dinner if we don’t hurry up” Jin called out.
“I’m coming” Kame said grabbing a jacket and heading for the door.
“Wait” he stopped as he was about to leave. “Let’s take a picture”
“Cheezu” they said together as they smiled for the camera.
“Ok we can go now” Kame said as he walked out the door.
****
Jin smiled to himself as he thought of the fun they had had that night.
****
Jin put a blind fold on Kame and lead him into a cab, whispering something into the cab drivers ear Jin sat down next to Kame.
“Where are we going Jin” Kame whined, but getting no answer from Jin so he gave up. Soon the car came to a halt; Jin helped the younger one out of the cab and onto the street. Thanking the driver and paying him, Jin led Kame into a very silent room.
“SURPRISE” all the guests yelled. Taking of his blind fold Kame stumbled backwards when he saw how many people had come to celebrate his birthday. Jin kissed him on the cheek
“Happy birthday Kazu-Chan” Jin smirked. “Koki hit it”
After a few rounds of happy birthdays and hugs Kame found himself at the bar with the rest of KAT-TUN watching everyone party, Kame ordered a drink. Jin watched on amused as Kame swallowed it at once. “You know it’s not soft drink you have to pace yourself” Ueda warned
Ignoring the warnings Kame had three more drinks and was soon dragging Jin off to party dance as he put it. After a few dances Kame walked back to the bar and ordered a four more drinks Jin walked up behind him and took one of them, he would have taken two but since Kame didn’t feel like sharing the others he gave up. After drinking all three so quickly Kame broke the silence that had fallen.
“I don’t feel too good” he slurred as he held his stomach.
A few moments later they both were in the men’s bathroom stall; Jin was holding Kame’s hair back so he wouldn’t be sick in it. As Jin and Kame walked out of the bathroom Ueda approached them “What have you done to Kame-Chan Bakanishi?” Ueda asked.
“What have I done” Jin repeated confused and slightly irritated.
“Look at him he looks terrible”
“Tat-Chan don’t you think I already know that?” Jin asked
“…”
“Anyway did you book the hotel down the street for the six of us?”
“Yes I’m not a Baka like you and I’m not forgetful either”
“Well I’m going to take Kame back there he has had far too much to drink tonight, I will be back soon” with that Jin carried Kame out of the club.
__________at the hotel
Placing Kazuya on the couch Jin walked into the kitchen to fetch him a glass of water. “You really should listen to Ueda he knows what he is talking about.” Jin said handing Kame the glass and taking a seat next to him.
“I’m sorry for ruining the party for you”
“No way it was awesome” Jin said kissing him on the cheek. “Now you need to get some rest”
“But I don’t want to” Kame said tiredly as Jin helped him stumble into the bedroom and onto the bed. As Kames breathing settled into a steady rhythm Jin felt it was ok for him to leave Kame on his own.
Gees he is so cute when he is asleep Jin thought as he left the hotel.
________________back that the club
[3 hours after Jin arrived]
“Hey thanks for coming” Jin said as the people leaving walked by.
“Jin save me from him please” he heard Yamapi cry from behind the bar counter.
“What happened now?” Jin asked crouching next to Yamapi.
“Well I was dancing with some guy and we almost kissed and then I lent in to kiss him again and and and Ryo-Chan saw us.” Pi rambled barely above a whisper so only Jin heard him.
“Wait here a moment and don’t move what ever you do ok?” Yamapi nodded in response and with that Jin went off to find Ueda.
“Tat-Chan, I need your help” Jin said in Ueda’s ear. After Jin had explained what had happened, Ueda agreed to help him get Yamapi out of the club without Ryo noticing and to make sure everything went ok since Ryo would most likely be after Jin so Jin probably wouldn’t be coming back. Ueda spotted Ryo from across the room, he headed over there, as Jin rushed over and grabbed Yamapi as fast as possible they both ran out of the club. Ryo had been miss guided as he ran into the bathroom to find no one in sight.
“Curse him” Ryo muttered as he left the bathroom.
__________at the hotel once more
“Here you can sleep on the couch” Jin said politely. Pi sat down on the couch nervously.” “I’ll get you a pillow and some blankets” Jin said heading for the bedroom. Quietly he grabbed a pillow of the bed and the spare blanket from the wardrobe.
“I-I don’t want to intrude J-Jin” Yamapi said shakily.
“It’s ok everything will be fine”
“What if it’s not what if Ryo-Chan comes after you then says he will never talk to me again and… and?” Yamapi started to ramble again.
“Pi, you and Ryo have had your ups and downs before but you always find your way back to each other no matter what. Hey why don’t we watch a movie?” Jin tried changing the subject
“Umm ok”
Not long after the movie had started Jin fell asleep, Yamapi soon followed. Yamapi woke up a few hours later feeling hot under the covers, deciding that Jin would prefer the covers kept on, he took of his top and laid back down again trying to get back to sleep.
****
And he thought of how hard the following morning was. Having to prove to Kame the he was innocent was a lot harder then he had thought.
****
Kame woke early the next morning and as he got out of bed there was a terrible pounding in his head, ignoring the pain he walked into the bathroom. Giving himself one quick look in the mirror he realised he was still in his clothes from last night. More pain shot through Kame’s head as he got undressed to have a shower. After he had freshened up he walked into the lounge room to find Yamapi and Jin together on the couch. Kames eyes started to water and soon he started crying, not wanting to see the site before him any longer he stormed out of the hotel room and slamming the door behind him.
“Huh…what …. {Something inaudible}” Jin yawned tiredly looking at who he was laying with. What happened last night did we….. Did I
Many thoughts were going through his at the time.
“Kame” Jin whispered. Getting of the couch carefully so he wouldn’t wake the other he wandered over to kames room to find it empty. Jin searched the whole house but to no avail. Jin then rushed over to Ueda’s room across the hall and began to bang on the door. “Tat-Chan…. Tat-Chan” Jin called out between bangs. Ueda soon opened the door and revealed the sight of a crying Kame in Junno’s arms.
“What did you do Jin” Ueda asked sternly.
“I didn’t do anything I swear”
“Well according to Kame something happened with you and Yamapi last night”
“What that is insane”
“Not according to Kame its not”
“Kame please listen to me I didn’t do anything I swear” Jin pleading but Kame wouldn’t listen.
“Jin I think you should go” Junno’s voice came from in the room.
“I think so too” Ueda agreed and with that Jin sulked back to his room.
****
He still doesn’t fully believe me even after Yamapi told him the truth Jin thought as the tune and words he had in his head moments ago came back into mind. Maybe I should write them down so I wont forget them Jin grabbed a note book and pen out of the top drawer and jotted down a few more lines then just the two he had before.
Untitled (for now)
Would you wait for me today if tomorrow I was gone?
You try to say goodbye but your heart won’t let me go.
If you took it all away I doubt that I would be ok
I’m tired of wasting all this time on things I know you have left behind
Days go by and I can’t let you go
I know that I will never know all I Know is I cant let you go
Every time I think I’m getting close
I no that I will never know all I know is I cant let you go
Tears streamed down Jin’s face and onto his beautiful lyrics soaking the page through, Jin walked from his desk to the bed curling up he stared at where Kazuya used to sleep. Jin rolled over and placed his hand where Kazuya’s head should be; he picked up Kames pillow and hugged it close to his chest.
I miss you so much he thought hugging the pillow tighter. He closed his eyes tightly thinking that he was holding his dear Kazuya in his arms and that he was still with him. Jin ran his fingers over Kazuya’s lips and placed his hands on his cheek as he tried to wipe the tears that fell from Kames’ eyes, but he couldn’t. Tears ran down Kames’ cheeks and slowly Kame started to disappear. As though he was all an illusion.
"I'm so sorry" Jin whispered "I'm sorry" he yelled as he watched his lover disappear and the tears in his eyes threatened to fall. “KAZUYA COME BACK!” Jin screamed “please come back” tears fell from his eyes and he sobbed wishing that he hadn’t done what he had.
Slowly sleep finally over came his exhausted body and he slept soundly, waiting for the sun to rise once again.
http://modern-artist.livejournal.com/2295.html