Tuesday's Putterings
Weather / Phenology:
A lovely day - as was yesterday. Bright. Breezy. Temperature in the mid-60’s. The upper foliage on the silver maple off the patio is turning red. We’ve noticed an increase in bird flock size. Pumpkins glow from tawny fields. The corn fields have gone dusky and they rustle in the wind instead of sighing. The three big trees that divide the back yard from the meadow have lost many of their lower leaves. (They create a crunchy layer on the giant sandbox that used to be a pool.)
The six remaining chicks are showing some little feathers at the wing and tail. Boo has begun to bark to warn us of visitors both human and animal. He apparently woke R- at 4:30 this morning with excellent barks to indicate he needed to go outside. I took him to the vet yesterday so he could get his pre-surgical checkup and his shots. Interestingly, his neutering will be more expensive than the original estimate - he has only one descended testicle. They will have to go into his abdomen to ensure that his hormones stop raging.
Mood Summary:
Volatile. Overly sensitive. Alternately panicky and strangely hopeful. Sometimes I look around and think its not that bad. Despite a couple of days of neglect, the house hasn’t degenerated too much. I can see the framework that I’ve built and it is good. If I could find or manufacture some consistent, focused energy I could have everything I’ve ever wanted. I am switching randomly between thinking it can be done and thinking I’m not adequate to the task(s) / not strong enough to do it. I guess I’m still wanting to be rescued … That ain’t gonna happen and it would be pathetic if it did.
I deliberately chose to not include a Putterings heading called something like Failures or Confessions because I can’t see how that could be particularly healthy … but I have several today.
I did not take Ch- to start the new session of clogging
I did not remember to complete or turn in some vital PCA paperwork
I did not take a bath or wash my hair … and I really should have
I have allowed myself to be sucked back into a bad television addiction (mornings)
I did not tend the animals properly
I did not clean or tidy the house or move laundry
I subjected M- to a “nobody loves me; everybody hates me” monolog
I did not cook, provide or eat anything remotely healthy
I did not bounce back from my period/gray-weather inspired funk
I wasted another day feeling sorry for myself
Accomplishments:
put on a presentable face before heading into town
took M- to work
helped Gmom buy and set up a new cage for her birds
took some time to sit outside
Took some time to write
watched a movie with Ch-
filled out some paperwork
Gratitudes:
Ch-‘s happiness from going to a baseball game with R-, courtesy of Mz D-
everything I have
everything I want … because I think I’d rather be miserable than numb
Step Count:
actually considered it today
Next Tasks
(maintenance-type limit = 6 per day / major-type limit = 4 per week)
1) take out backed up recycling
2) balance checkbooks
3) pay mortgage and any bills I can afford
4) deliver papers to Anoka
5) do animal chores properly
6) pick up & tidy
M: declutter
M: sort and organize papers and bills
M: finish dealing with clothing (Ch- too.)
M: mow and clean up yards & gardens
Goal Level Behaviors
Master / Source List
Routines
The Fat Man Walking
Netflix 100
Tonight’s Sky
low functioning
Accomplishments: 85 , Sphere Comparison: (Health & Body = 2 ) ( Hearth & Home = 9 ) (Mind & Soul = 6 )
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