Tueday's Putterings
Topics contained herein:
Things unsaid, healing herbs and auditions--round two.
And
EEK!!! A MOUSE!
Weather / Phenology:
”Tonight: Sunset: 8:45 PM. Partial cloudiness early, with scattered showers and thunderstorms overnight. Low 66F. Winds SSE at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 60%.”
[EDIT] So 2 minutes ago I was exhausted. Now my heart is slowing from thunderous to quickened. I'm sitting at the laptop, buck-naked, with my feet off the floor. I meant to curl up on the sofa so I could actually hear the volcano program on PBS while I fell asleep. Considering the fact that all three cats and a very large field mouse are 5' away from that intended desination, I believe I'll just go upstairs and deal with the snoring ... with the door tightly closed. With any luck, I'll find a rodent corpse in the morning. [END EDIT]
Cousin D-noticed that the time and temp sign near the funeral home was reading 87F. I think it may have been calibrated a bit high but I don’t think it was far off. I know that I suffered from the heat more than I should have, thanks to recurrent, moderate hot flashes. I wore a heavy jersey skirt, a supposedly light, cotton, long-sleeved tunic and a pair of knee high black boots. The clothes were appropriate but uncomfortable as hell considering the weather. Thank God there was a decent wind which allowed me to stay mostly dressed until I got home.
We got 5 eggs from the chickens today.
Mood Summary:
I am tired. That cold-thing seems to be worsening. My lower back aches, my legs and feet are sore and I’m currently having a mild hot flash. Thirty-Nine is going to be a joy isn’t it?
The day started a little earlier than usual. I dropped Ch-off at school and headed into Anoka to pick up Gmom. We went straight to the memorial service in Forest Lake, which did not go well. Gmom lost it twice during the service so I escorted her outside both times … which nearly made me feel more tenderly toward her but, alas, my compassion fled when she started to say stuff like, “At least you have a home Mz E--” and “I shouldn’t have come, I know that I’ve been too nervous lately and this has to be bad for my heart” and “You know the doctor said that my heart is only pumping a teaspoon of blood and not a cup like it’s supposed to.” In other words, it was all about her.
I have to admit that I too filter everything through a me-me filter but this was ridiculous. I hope, when a lifelong friends dies, I will be mostly concerned with prayers for and memories of her … not myself.
I was saddened by the fact that no one stood to speak of Mz E- when that part of the service came around. Seven of her eight children attended, along with many grandchildren and great grandchildren yet there was an excruciating pause when the deacon asked for thoughts. One of her boys, a preacher in his own right, read the Footprints poem and encouraged others to speak. Eventually he shared something which I couldn’t quite hear. Another long pause followed before my brother-in-law said something to the effect of “I’m sure some of you remember the parties she used to throw in the basement of XX Street.” There was a murmuring of assent and someone said that she made even non-family members feel like family at those parties. That was it.
I’m too sleepy to go into much more detail but there’s not a lot to tell anyway. And that’s sad too.
Insert appropriate transition here.
After an afternoon spent shopping with my mother, which was reminiscent of shopping with a 3 year old, I brought her back to my house to await Ch-‘s arrival from school.
(That 3 year old thing should have been sweet too -- but I’m in a bitter, bitter place today. I kept thinking, Yeah. She had to drag my difficult ass around for 6-7 years. And I‘ve been returning the favor for nearly 20. Sometimes I’m really not a nice person.)
I’m trying to get to the GOOD news here … with no further bitching:
Upon arriving home, I checked the answering machine where I found a message for my son from the theater company. They asked him to return for “call backs” this evening. I wish I could capture the slow, semi-surprised smile that bloomed on his lips when he heard the message. I think I caught a glimpse of his adult face. His eyes widened and, maybe, glistened with a thin sheen of happy tears. He sagged onto the window seat briefly and then came over to get a hug.
After that, he went directly to his keyboard and pulled up the Sims … he had learned a new cheat code at school and wanted to try it out. When I told him that he’d have to go wash his face, brush his teeth, change his shirt and check his nails, he complied but I could tell that, though he had enjoyed that particular moment, he was ready to have another, equally enjoyable period of time before getting ready for his second audition. After the first shock of it, he moved on. I admire his seemingly natural ability to take what is good (or bad) and then move on without obsessing or worrying or gloating. He lives very much in the present, most of the time. I think he gets it from his dad. Or maybe it’s a male thing.
There were two other boys at the call backs. One was a similar type to Ch-while the other seemed quite a bit younger and smaller. The director took all three of them into a rehearsal room and taught them Gary, Indiana. They sang together and separately. They read a few more lines. The whole thing took maybe 15 minutes. Ch-said, “Actor M- had some trouble with volume and Actor A- had some trouble with his lisp. I think it went pretty well.”
So we left.
When we got home, we watched most of the video of The Music Man that his music teacher loaned him. He got a huge kick out of the unrealistic musical format. (The sha-poopie song and dance, in particular, amused him.) Eventually he admitted that he was too tired to continue so we stopped the movie and he went up to bed.
Another day in the life.
Accomplishments:
This day is a rather pointed example of what I expect in my summer writing project. Before I left the house I had enough time to do my personal care stuff. After the memorial service, I bought replacement plants for the gardens. Just before we had to leave for town, I tended to the indoor animals’ needs. Once Ch-got home, we did the chicken and rabbit chores. The rest you know. Now it’s coming up on midnight and I’m worn out. Not only did I not write (until now) but I didn’t do any real home or farm keeping. I’ll be starting tomorrow already behind.
Five Gratitudes:
1) There was a moment today when I felt genuine tenderness toward my mother. It didn’t come easy or early. She had a lot of opinions about what I should be buying to plant in my gardens. (She’s a collector-type - which means that she likes interesting specimens that don’t serve any particular purpose. She’s kind of a knick-knack gardener. I am a ‘drifts of heirlooms’ type - which means that I like sturdy, proven, multipurpose plants for which I have a definite plan. I’m kind of a cottage gardener.)
At first I was silently irritated when she chose some plants at two of the nursery stands where we stopped. I didn’t pay any attention to what she was adding to the cart but I assumed they were either flowers or hanging-basket type plants. She said she would just tell Sister D- to get her some specific kind of pot and that we would have to stop to buy her some potting soil. It irked me that she just blissfully expects us to get her whatever she wants whenever she wants it. I was thinking, “You need more clutter like …” All that changed when she explained that she intended to plant her 3 HERBS in one pot because she likes to play with the leaves and smell all the different scents on her hands. Suddenly I realized that there are some things that she really can’t see and that she’s stretching to use her other senses. I found her a chocolate mint and a pineapple sage to add to the mix.
2) For Ch-‘s call-back and the way he handled it.
3) For feeling like I’m STILL very special to a good man, even though I never gave him a fair chance.
4) For getting to spend a little time with the one child of Sister D- that I don’t see often.
5) For knowing that I should be able to stay home and putter all day tomorrow.
Exercise / Step Count:
Yoga. Sweating.
Next Tasks
(tasks = 4 per day / focuses = 4 per week / W = writing goals / Z = this week’s zone)
*Use timer to control current obsession: Use timer for routines.
1) 30 minutes floors (up to 60 but I intend to get through it fast)
2) work in the garden / on lawn
3) make spaghetti & bruschetta
4) take a really nice bath
5) Writing: #1 putterings #2 ideal life #3 crisis cleaning article draft
6) Zone: clear sewing table / make R-list of tasks / general cleaning
F: Outdoors (gardens, garbage, lawn, patio, etc.)
F: Ch-‘s room (hang stuff, organize, repair blanket, etc)
F: Attitude toward Ch- (set up keyboard, music, camera, other projects)
F: Animals: chickens (cut nails, clean out coops, etc.)
W: re-establish putterings, update womanly_arts, TAI, etc.
Zone #4 -- Master Bedroom / Bedroom Closet / Ch--'s Room
Goal Level Behaviors
2006 Next Little Bit List
Routines
Cleaning: zones & weekly schedule
Things unsaid, healing herbs and auditions--round two.
And
EEK!!! A MOUSE!
Weather / Phenology:
”Tonight: Sunset: 8:45 PM. Partial cloudiness early, with scattered showers and thunderstorms overnight. Low 66F. Winds SSE at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 60%.”
[EDIT] So 2 minutes ago I was exhausted. Now my heart is slowing from thunderous to quickened. I'm sitting at the laptop, buck-naked, with my feet off the floor. I meant to curl up on the sofa so I could actually hear the volcano program on PBS while I fell asleep. Considering the fact that all three cats and a very large field mouse are 5' away from that intended desination, I believe I'll just go upstairs and deal with the snoring ... with the door tightly closed. With any luck, I'll find a rodent corpse in the morning. [END EDIT]
Cousin D-noticed that the time and temp sign near the funeral home was reading 87F. I think it may have been calibrated a bit high but I don’t think it was far off. I know that I suffered from the heat more than I should have, thanks to recurrent, moderate hot flashes. I wore a heavy jersey skirt, a supposedly light, cotton, long-sleeved tunic and a pair of knee high black boots. The clothes were appropriate but uncomfortable as hell considering the weather. Thank God there was a decent wind which allowed me to stay mostly dressed until I got home.
We got 5 eggs from the chickens today.
Mood Summary:
I am tired. That cold-thing seems to be worsening. My lower back aches, my legs and feet are sore and I’m currently having a mild hot flash. Thirty-Nine is going to be a joy isn’t it?
The day started a little earlier than usual. I dropped Ch-off at school and headed into Anoka to pick up Gmom. We went straight to the memorial service in Forest Lake, which did not go well. Gmom lost it twice during the service so I escorted her outside both times … which nearly made me feel more tenderly toward her but, alas, my compassion fled when she started to say stuff like, “At least you have a home Mz E--” and “I shouldn’t have come, I know that I’ve been too nervous lately and this has to be bad for my heart” and “You know the doctor said that my heart is only pumping a teaspoon of blood and not a cup like it’s supposed to.” In other words, it was all about her.
I have to admit that I too filter everything through a me-me filter but this was ridiculous. I hope, when a lifelong friends dies, I will be mostly concerned with prayers for and memories of her … not myself.
I was saddened by the fact that no one stood to speak of Mz E- when that part of the service came around. Seven of her eight children attended, along with many grandchildren and great grandchildren yet there was an excruciating pause when the deacon asked for thoughts. One of her boys, a preacher in his own right, read the Footprints poem and encouraged others to speak. Eventually he shared something which I couldn’t quite hear. Another long pause followed before my brother-in-law said something to the effect of “I’m sure some of you remember the parties she used to throw in the basement of XX Street.” There was a murmuring of assent and someone said that she made even non-family members feel like family at those parties. That was it.
I’m too sleepy to go into much more detail but there’s not a lot to tell anyway. And that’s sad too.
Insert appropriate transition here.
After an afternoon spent shopping with my mother, which was reminiscent of shopping with a 3 year old, I brought her back to my house to await Ch-‘s arrival from school.
(That 3 year old thing should have been sweet too -- but I’m in a bitter, bitter place today. I kept thinking, Yeah. She had to drag my difficult ass around for 6-7 years. And I‘ve been returning the favor for nearly 20. Sometimes I’m really not a nice person.)
I’m trying to get to the GOOD news here … with no further bitching:
Upon arriving home, I checked the answering machine where I found a message for my son from the theater company. They asked him to return for “call backs” this evening. I wish I could capture the slow, semi-surprised smile that bloomed on his lips when he heard the message. I think I caught a glimpse of his adult face. His eyes widened and, maybe, glistened with a thin sheen of happy tears. He sagged onto the window seat briefly and then came over to get a hug.
After that, he went directly to his keyboard and pulled up the Sims … he had learned a new cheat code at school and wanted to try it out. When I told him that he’d have to go wash his face, brush his teeth, change his shirt and check his nails, he complied but I could tell that, though he had enjoyed that particular moment, he was ready to have another, equally enjoyable period of time before getting ready for his second audition. After the first shock of it, he moved on. I admire his seemingly natural ability to take what is good (or bad) and then move on without obsessing or worrying or gloating. He lives very much in the present, most of the time. I think he gets it from his dad. Or maybe it’s a male thing.
There were two other boys at the call backs. One was a similar type to Ch-while the other seemed quite a bit younger and smaller. The director took all three of them into a rehearsal room and taught them Gary, Indiana. They sang together and separately. They read a few more lines. The whole thing took maybe 15 minutes. Ch-said, “Actor M- had some trouble with volume and Actor A- had some trouble with his lisp. I think it went pretty well.”
So we left.
When we got home, we watched most of the video of The Music Man that his music teacher loaned him. He got a huge kick out of the unrealistic musical format. (The sha-poopie song and dance, in particular, amused him.) Eventually he admitted that he was too tired to continue so we stopped the movie and he went up to bed.
Another day in the life.
Accomplishments:
This day is a rather pointed example of what I expect in my summer writing project. Before I left the house I had enough time to do my personal care stuff. After the memorial service, I bought replacement plants for the gardens. Just before we had to leave for town, I tended to the indoor animals’ needs. Once Ch-got home, we did the chicken and rabbit chores. The rest you know. Now it’s coming up on midnight and I’m worn out. Not only did I not write (until now) but I didn’t do any real home or farm keeping. I’ll be starting tomorrow already behind.
Five Gratitudes:
1) There was a moment today when I felt genuine tenderness toward my mother. It didn’t come easy or early. She had a lot of opinions about what I should be buying to plant in my gardens. (She’s a collector-type - which means that she likes interesting specimens that don’t serve any particular purpose. She’s kind of a knick-knack gardener. I am a ‘drifts of heirlooms’ type - which means that I like sturdy, proven, multipurpose plants for which I have a definite plan. I’m kind of a cottage gardener.)
At first I was silently irritated when she chose some plants at two of the nursery stands where we stopped. I didn’t pay any attention to what she was adding to the cart but I assumed they were either flowers or hanging-basket type plants. She said she would just tell Sister D- to get her some specific kind of pot and that we would have to stop to buy her some potting soil. It irked me that she just blissfully expects us to get her whatever she wants whenever she wants it. I was thinking, “You need more clutter like …” All that changed when she explained that she intended to plant her 3 HERBS in one pot because she likes to play with the leaves and smell all the different scents on her hands. Suddenly I realized that there are some things that she really can’t see and that she’s stretching to use her other senses. I found her a chocolate mint and a pineapple sage to add to the mix.
2) For Ch-‘s call-back and the way he handled it.
3) For feeling like I’m STILL very special to a good man, even though I never gave him a fair chance.
4) For getting to spend a little time with the one child of Sister D- that I don’t see often.
5) For knowing that I should be able to stay home and putter all day tomorrow.
Exercise / Step Count:
Yoga. Sweating.
Next Tasks
(tasks = 4 per day / focuses = 4 per week / W = writing goals / Z = this week’s zone)
*Use timer to control current obsession: Use timer for routines.
1) 30 minutes floors (up to 60 but I intend to get through it fast)
2) work in the garden / on lawn
3) make spaghetti & bruschetta
4) take a really nice bath
5) Writing: #1 putterings #2 ideal life #3 crisis cleaning article draft
6) Zone: clear sewing table / make R-list of tasks / general cleaning
F: Outdoors (gardens, garbage, lawn, patio, etc.)
F: Ch-‘s room (hang stuff, organize, repair blanket, etc)
F: Attitude toward Ch- (set up keyboard, music, camera, other projects)
F: Animals: chickens (cut nails, clean out coops, etc.)
W: re-establish putterings, update womanly_arts, TAI, etc.
Zone #4 -- Master Bedroom / Bedroom Closet / Ch--'s Room
Goal Level Behaviors
2006 Next Little Bit List
Routines
Cleaning: zones & weekly schedule