Weekend Putterings
Topics contained herein:
A killing frost, personal decisions and motherly pride.
And -- of course -- the recurring, unfixable problem that is my mother,
aka:
same shit, different day.
Weather / Phenology:
The weather was just a bit cooler than I like … tho’ it wasn’t dreary or depressing, just chilly. Frost hit the garden on Saturday and Sunday nights. Irritatingly, I have to replant basil and tomatoes and I have to re-buy peppers, cucumbers and pumpkins. The seeds I’ve planted will be fine. The cilantro, lemon balm, lavender and strawberries look okay but the lettuce and marigolds are iffy. I knew this could happen so I’m trying not to be too pissed about it. The plants aren’t terribly expensive and most of the work of it is in preparing the beds, not in setting the plants.
As long as I have to redo the tomatoes, I wish I could think of a better way to protect them from the cut worms. I was surprised to find that most cans now have the rounded bottom which makes them unsuitable for making barriers. Maybe I could use heavy tagboard or some kind of thin sheet plastic.
Our rogue rooster, Rocket, manages to lure one hen out of the bantam coop every day. I keep expecting one of them to stay with him … to go to his roost instead of returning to the flock at night, but so far he sleeps alone in the barn. It wouldn’t be too surprising if it was the same hen then escapes to him every time, but sometimes he gets Katy and other times he has one of the red hens as a companion. And never more than one. (Today he has a red one.)
Mood Summary:
I’m feeling pretty good. This was a very social weekend - my daughter and her boyfriend are sleeping on the nearby sofa-beds as I write this. (They are both very quiet sleepers :) I enjoyed visiting with Mz D- at the bookstore on Saturday and with Mz K- at a local bar on Sunday afternoon.
I saw Gmom on both days because my son stayed with her overnight on Saturday. I saw Sister D- on Saturday too. That situation is no better … I can’t get a grip on what we are going to do. Sister D- is determined to keep Gmom right where she is no matter what it takes. That approach is not going to work. I don’t understand the motivation there. It’s some weird combination of denial and stubbornness. She is quite willing to share what WON’T work but hasn’t yet figured out what will work. Until something breaks, I feel like my hands are tied. (I’m afraid the thing that will break is my sister herself.) Her husband returns from his fishing trip late on Monday night and he’s coming home to a funeral for his own mother. Their lives must be a living hell right now and I don’t know how to help. I feel guilty for staying as clear of it all as possible, but I don’t see the value in the angst-ing. I feel like we’ve talked it all through and that there is only one real solution. (The one where Gmom moves in to my house.) I can’t make that happen on my own because I don’t have the credit or the required technical skills. As much as I’m not thrilled about living with my mother, I am far more reluctant to let this not-knowing drag on until January.
This weekend, of course, featured the long-awaited hanger dance. We went. We had fun. We enjoyed the company of our daughter and her boyfriend. We danced two slow dances. It was wonderful.
I made a few final decisions over the weekend. (At least as “final” as I’m capable of making.)
1) Though I want to write for the fledgling newspaper, I won’t be attending weekly meetings during the start-up phase.
2) Though I am willing to take Ch- to clogging lessons, I will not be pursuing that particular art form at this time.
3) In order to replace that movement and music, I will, instead, be learning to swing dance with my husband.
4) I’m going to actively reduce any unkind and/or gossipy words and actions in my day-to-day life.
5) There was a lengthy piece here about the writing project I will be undertaking this summer. For brevity and search-ability, I’ve moved it to it’s own entry, HERE .
Accomplishments:
--Took Ch-to his audition
--dealt with a little Gmom / Sister D-stuff
--Went to Hanger dance and enjoyed my husband a great deal throughout all of Saturday
--“Entertained” my daughter and her boyfriend Saturday night, Sunday evening (and Monday morning).
--got the chicken tractor moved while they were here
--Connected with two of my girlfriends during the weekend
--found and bought two distinct activities for Ch-‘s summer (piano & photography)
--actively helped Ch- reestablish a comfortable friendship with young master L--.
--multi-tasked “organically” (low stress, natural connections PLUS good time management)
made some reasonable, concrete, kind decisions
Five Gratitudes:
1) The courage of my children. I was feeling apprehensive about Ch-‘s audition but I needn’t have worried. I don’t know if he will get the part but I do know that I was impressed with his composure and confidence. Much like his sister, he handled himself like a pro. His voice was clear and clean. His manner was direct and charming. He didn’t seem freaked out before, during or after the experience. I don’t know if they were just born that way or if something we’ve done as a family has encouraged them to develop that way but I’m really proud of what they can do.
2) Proud-Mama Moment: While at the hanger dance, I watched my 20 year old daughter mouth all of the words to a classic swing standard. (True, she was playing a video game on her phone at the time, but still.) I was also able to clearly see that she patterned her mate-requirements based on her perception of R-. She says it herself, by the way. I don’t mean in some icky way … nor do I mean that her tastes run to a carbon copy of her dad … It’s just that it is nice to see that she clearly thinks her father is a good man. This is particularly rewarding for two reasons:
--There is no biological relationship between the two of them. They forged their relationship by choice not by chance.
--She must be untainted by the marry-a-handy-man thing that my family so carefully instilled in me. She knows herself well enough to understand that friendship and intellectual compatibility matter more than skill-based abilities. She’s choosing to have a relationship based on her mind and heart rather than her need for security. This is, in part, because she’s so capable herself. She doesn’t believe she needs to be rescued. I’m proud of that. I didn’t begin to come to the same conclusions until I was well past 30.
3) For the relationship that is forming between Ch- and M-‘s boyfriend. Ch- wants very badly to both challenge him and impress him. Sometimes it’s a little awkward but it’s also utterly genuine and heart-felt. (There was an incident with some “rattlesnake eggs” which didn’t go so well but he tried hard to pull himself together … and succeeded.)
4) For boyfriend M-‘s willingness to wade right into the chicken coops … and to show Ch- that he can handle the “scary” chickens.
5) For R-‘s willingness to be VERY patient while I train my body how to do a new physical thing (swing dancing).
[EDIT] Two bonus gratitudes have occured to me as I've been putting the house to rights after the weekend:
1) I'm grateful that M-- is technologically savvy. She tested Ch--'s new camera for me last night and I think she tweaked my laptap so that instant messenger runs again. Thank you daughter.
2) I'm grateful that R-- packed up the left-overs last night and sent me to bed so indulgently.
I asked him, "What do I need to do before I can go to bed?"
He replied, "You need to finish that cigarette, grab a cold soda and take all your clothes off. Then, and only then, can you go to bed."
[END EDIT]
Exercise / Step Count:
Did yoga on Saturday but not Sunday. Added steps to both days. Otherwise I spent a lot of time sitting down and talking.
Next Tasks
(tasks = 4 per day / focuses = 4 per week / W = writing goals / Z = this week’s zone)
*Use timer to control current obsession: Use timer for routines.
1) 30 minutes dusting & polishing
2) socialize with M-- & M-- / conversations with extended family / weekly organization
3) clogging class for Ch-- / buy replacement plants
4) mega dishes & extra cleaning after weekend
5) Writing: #1 putterings #2 ideal life #3 crisis cleaning article draft
6) Zone: clear sewing table / make R-list of tasks / general cleaning
F: Outdoors (gardens, garbage, lawn, patio, etc.)
F: Ch-‘s room (hang stuff, organize, repair blanket, etc)
F: Attitude toward Ch- (set up keyboard, music, camera, other projects)
F: Animals: chickens (cut nails, clean out coops, etc.)
W: re-establish putterings, update womanly_arts, TAI, etc.
Zone #4 -- Master Bedroom / Bedroom Closet / Ch--'s Room
Goal Level Behaviors
2006 Next Little Bit List
Routines
Cleaning: zones & weekly schedule
A killing frost, personal decisions and motherly pride.
And -- of course -- the recurring, unfixable problem that is my mother,
aka:
same shit, different day.
Weather / Phenology:
The weather was just a bit cooler than I like … tho’ it wasn’t dreary or depressing, just chilly. Frost hit the garden on Saturday and Sunday nights. Irritatingly, I have to replant basil and tomatoes and I have to re-buy peppers, cucumbers and pumpkins. The seeds I’ve planted will be fine. The cilantro, lemon balm, lavender and strawberries look okay but the lettuce and marigolds are iffy. I knew this could happen so I’m trying not to be too pissed about it. The plants aren’t terribly expensive and most of the work of it is in preparing the beds, not in setting the plants.
As long as I have to redo the tomatoes, I wish I could think of a better way to protect them from the cut worms. I was surprised to find that most cans now have the rounded bottom which makes them unsuitable for making barriers. Maybe I could use heavy tagboard or some kind of thin sheet plastic.
Our rogue rooster, Rocket, manages to lure one hen out of the bantam coop every day. I keep expecting one of them to stay with him … to go to his roost instead of returning to the flock at night, but so far he sleeps alone in the barn. It wouldn’t be too surprising if it was the same hen then escapes to him every time, but sometimes he gets Katy and other times he has one of the red hens as a companion. And never more than one. (Today he has a red one.)
Mood Summary:
I’m feeling pretty good. This was a very social weekend - my daughter and her boyfriend are sleeping on the nearby sofa-beds as I write this. (They are both very quiet sleepers :) I enjoyed visiting with Mz D- at the bookstore on Saturday and with Mz K- at a local bar on Sunday afternoon.
I saw Gmom on both days because my son stayed with her overnight on Saturday. I saw Sister D- on Saturday too. That situation is no better … I can’t get a grip on what we are going to do. Sister D- is determined to keep Gmom right where she is no matter what it takes. That approach is not going to work. I don’t understand the motivation there. It’s some weird combination of denial and stubbornness. She is quite willing to share what WON’T work but hasn’t yet figured out what will work. Until something breaks, I feel like my hands are tied. (I’m afraid the thing that will break is my sister herself.) Her husband returns from his fishing trip late on Monday night and he’s coming home to a funeral for his own mother. Their lives must be a living hell right now and I don’t know how to help. I feel guilty for staying as clear of it all as possible, but I don’t see the value in the angst-ing. I feel like we’ve talked it all through and that there is only one real solution. (The one where Gmom moves in to my house.) I can’t make that happen on my own because I don’t have the credit or the required technical skills. As much as I’m not thrilled about living with my mother, I am far more reluctant to let this not-knowing drag on until January.
This weekend, of course, featured the long-awaited hanger dance. We went. We had fun. We enjoyed the company of our daughter and her boyfriend. We danced two slow dances. It was wonderful.
I made a few final decisions over the weekend. (At least as “final” as I’m capable of making.)
1) Though I want to write for the fledgling newspaper, I won’t be attending weekly meetings during the start-up phase.
2) Though I am willing to take Ch- to clogging lessons, I will not be pursuing that particular art form at this time.
3) In order to replace that movement and music, I will, instead, be learning to swing dance with my husband.
4) I’m going to actively reduce any unkind and/or gossipy words and actions in my day-to-day life.
5) There was a lengthy piece here about the writing project I will be undertaking this summer. For brevity and search-ability, I’ve moved it to it’s own entry, HERE .
Accomplishments:
--Took Ch-to his audition
--dealt with a little Gmom / Sister D-stuff
--Went to Hanger dance and enjoyed my husband a great deal throughout all of Saturday
--“Entertained” my daughter and her boyfriend Saturday night, Sunday evening (and Monday morning).
--got the chicken tractor moved while they were here
--Connected with two of my girlfriends during the weekend
--found and bought two distinct activities for Ch-‘s summer (piano & photography)
--actively helped Ch- reestablish a comfortable friendship with young master L--.
--multi-tasked “organically” (low stress, natural connections PLUS good time management)
made some reasonable, concrete, kind decisions
Five Gratitudes:
1) The courage of my children. I was feeling apprehensive about Ch-‘s audition but I needn’t have worried. I don’t know if he will get the part but I do know that I was impressed with his composure and confidence. Much like his sister, he handled himself like a pro. His voice was clear and clean. His manner was direct and charming. He didn’t seem freaked out before, during or after the experience. I don’t know if they were just born that way or if something we’ve done as a family has encouraged them to develop that way but I’m really proud of what they can do.
2) Proud-Mama Moment: While at the hanger dance, I watched my 20 year old daughter mouth all of the words to a classic swing standard. (True, she was playing a video game on her phone at the time, but still.) I was also able to clearly see that she patterned her mate-requirements based on her perception of R-. She says it herself, by the way. I don’t mean in some icky way … nor do I mean that her tastes run to a carbon copy of her dad … It’s just that it is nice to see that she clearly thinks her father is a good man. This is particularly rewarding for two reasons:
--There is no biological relationship between the two of them. They forged their relationship by choice not by chance.
--She must be untainted by the marry-a-handy-man thing that my family so carefully instilled in me. She knows herself well enough to understand that friendship and intellectual compatibility matter more than skill-based abilities. She’s choosing to have a relationship based on her mind and heart rather than her need for security. This is, in part, because she’s so capable herself. She doesn’t believe she needs to be rescued. I’m proud of that. I didn’t begin to come to the same conclusions until I was well past 30.
3) For the relationship that is forming between Ch- and M-‘s boyfriend. Ch- wants very badly to both challenge him and impress him. Sometimes it’s a little awkward but it’s also utterly genuine and heart-felt. (There was an incident with some “rattlesnake eggs” which didn’t go so well but he tried hard to pull himself together … and succeeded.)
4) For boyfriend M-‘s willingness to wade right into the chicken coops … and to show Ch- that he can handle the “scary” chickens.
5) For R-‘s willingness to be VERY patient while I train my body how to do a new physical thing (swing dancing).
[EDIT] Two bonus gratitudes have occured to me as I've been putting the house to rights after the weekend:
1) I'm grateful that M-- is technologically savvy. She tested Ch--'s new camera for me last night and I think she tweaked my laptap so that instant messenger runs again. Thank you daughter.
2) I'm grateful that R-- packed up the left-overs last night and sent me to bed so indulgently.
I asked him, "What do I need to do before I can go to bed?"
He replied, "You need to finish that cigarette, grab a cold soda and take all your clothes off. Then, and only then, can you go to bed."
[END EDIT]
Exercise / Step Count:
Did yoga on Saturday but not Sunday. Added steps to both days. Otherwise I spent a lot of time sitting down and talking.
Next Tasks
(tasks = 4 per day / focuses = 4 per week / W = writing goals / Z = this week’s zone)
*Use timer to control current obsession: Use timer for routines.
1) 30 minutes dusting & polishing
2) socialize with M-- & M-- / conversations with extended family / weekly organization
3) clogging class for Ch-- / buy replacement plants
4) mega dishes & extra cleaning after weekend
5) Writing: #1 putterings #2 ideal life #3 crisis cleaning article draft
6) Zone: clear sewing table / make R-list of tasks / general cleaning
F: Outdoors (gardens, garbage, lawn, patio, etc.)
F: Ch-‘s room (hang stuff, organize, repair blanket, etc)
F: Attitude toward Ch- (set up keyboard, music, camera, other projects)
F: Animals: chickens (cut nails, clean out coops, etc.)
W: re-establish putterings, update womanly_arts, TAI, etc.
Zone #4 -- Master Bedroom / Bedroom Closet / Ch--'s Room
Goal Level Behaviors
2006 Next Little Bit List
Routines
Cleaning: zones & weekly schedule