maybe it is the rain
or maybe its valentine's day coming up. or maybe its the crossroads i find myself standing at. or, again, maybe its the rain on the day i dont have my umbrella. or the stress on my day off; the need to do things and fill time when, in fact, i would really rather not do anything. and then there is that. yes, that, again. but that has developed, evolved, if one will. it is now a realization that i does not matter and a questioning of just who i am and what i hold dear since i know it is all so superficial and yet, yet, it bothers me because--and this is the kicker--it is important to me. why? and who can i talk to? or what had made it go away? it is just a down spiral in an enchanted life, i am well aware. and i do not pretend to be seriously sad or concerned, in spite of the fact that as of now i truely am. but it will pass. it always does. it all does. and i am standing still at the center as it whirls about; not even making plans but watching while knowing i am watching it all slip by.