watching the clouds roll by
i made good progress just now on my presntation and to reward myself i am going to bed so i can get up early and do more of it. i dont really care right now. i cant be botherd. i think ot kill time when people start to leave i am going to re-read shakespeare. get that done and so when i get home/the us, i can start on my real reading list, which i am confidant i will be able to accomplish since peole here do entire authors in a week, so why cant i? its good practice and i think i may just pick up a few words here or there. i am going to bed with the aching heart that comes from being torn and blacked out. what did i say last night? what did i do? and most importantly did i get enough courage to say the truth ? i sure hope so because that woudl be a welcomed relief to have done it drunk and not have to face the emaressment and awkwardness that would come if i said it sober. why cant i? whats the worst that happens? i am humbled. again. could be a good thing. what would be so clutch would be if in all this cryticness they got it. i dont know how they would. i mean, i dont even know what i am writing half the time until its done and posted or even then i dont really know, but if somehoe they could interpret the work, understand it better, than the author and make that move, m-O-m [man-o-man in hand speak, sorry i have been really into it since friday i think it was that i learned it. no no, that is the wrong man, the other one. i mean, as i explained to someone recently "i like him, but not like that. it would do more pain than fun to crush on him--again."]life could be fun. mabe. or i am just attributing random qualities and characteristics to people i hardly know. i will miss the thursday trashing. eff dublin. this gets worse and worse, doesnt it? nah. well, maybe.
"has some sort of disease where you hallucinate & start to not believe in love, but after a year or two, or even sometimes ten or twenty, it cures itself & all that's left are a few little red spots that twinge & ache whenever you get too near someone else that has the disease & it's all you can do to stop from reaching out & holding them close"
"has some sort of disease where you hallucinate & start to not believe in love, but after a year or two, or even sometimes ten or twenty, it cures itself & all that's left are a few little red spots that twinge & ache whenever you get too near someone else that has the disease & it's all you can do to stop from reaching out & holding them close"