(no subject)
nov 21st 2010
(i'm impressed i could write on my ipod when i can't currently write on a keyboard)
I always assume that each bout of whatever is the worst. Like holy shit, this is it, yeah, this time. I will however remain impressed by the total isolation i've managed to achieve this time around. No phones, no friends, only a machine that offers me primitive typing & sketchy reliability at best. I find my voice works less by the day, & my drive to try & utilize it even more diminished. Out of fear & sadness, insecurity, & then inexlicable pride and inability to understand why i should be held to any standards pertaining to effort. Returned to my island, the literal one & the one that floats about in my head, teetering threateningly into the endlessness of an unforgivingly harsh & evergrowing ocean. Being swallowed slowly, almost unnoticably, until my tides are only hints of white on an otherwise flat horizon.
(i'm impressed i could write on my ipod when i can't currently write on a keyboard)
I always assume that each bout of whatever is the worst. Like holy shit, this is it, yeah, this time. I will however remain impressed by the total isolation i've managed to achieve this time around. No phones, no friends, only a machine that offers me primitive typing & sketchy reliability at best. I find my voice works less by the day, & my drive to try & utilize it even more diminished. Out of fear & sadness, insecurity, & then inexlicable pride and inability to understand why i should be held to any standards pertaining to effort. Returned to my island, the literal one & the one that floats about in my head, teetering threateningly into the endlessness of an unforgivingly harsh & evergrowing ocean. Being swallowed slowly, almost unnoticably, until my tides are only hints of white on an otherwise flat horizon.