(no subject)
Alright, so I figured that I should start writing in here to put down on paper (paper? cyber-paper?) all the crazy things that I experience as an employee at a local coffeeshop, if for no other reason than my own amusement whenever I look at this again in a few years.
So to set the scene for tonight's episode; the store closes at 11:00 on saturdays, so around 10:50 I go outside to give the ole 10 minute warning to the fellow sitting outside who is obviously hard at work on something. Usually the 10 minute warning does the trick, however, when I went outside to lock up the furniture at 11:10 he was still going at it on his laptop.
So I tell him that he can stay here as long as I'm able to lock up the furniture around him, and his response to this is, "I've been unemployed for a year and a half. I'll go home now, it's okay. I'm just so hard at work on this. I'm unemployed. And I'm working on this."
Now, working at a coffeeshop can be akin to being a bartender, in that sometimes you get to play 'be my free psychologist', so I take a seat next to him and start to engage him in a little dialogue. I don't remember it verbatim, but I'll try to remember the important things. So I ask him if he works in computers and he replies that he doesn't, if I have a minute he'll show me what he does, in fact, he'll show me "the coolest thing I've ever seen. Ever". This piques my interest so i get up and come a bit closer, standing to the side of him to see what he's going to show me on the ole computer. But no. He tells me that what he's going to show me isn't on the computer. First, he tells me, he needs to pack in another lump of chewing tobacco.
I should probably add a little character description here, if I'm to be even a decent storyteller. This man, Henry we'll call him, even though I have NO idea what his name is, he just kinda looks like a Henry, anyways, Henry is probably late 20's, early 30's, a fairly 'normal' looking individual. However, he seemed on edge, maybe a little drunk, maybe a little high, maybe a bit too much chewing tobacco. It was obvious that something was a tad off. He also mentioned that he was unemployed at least 10 times throughout the conversation.
So, back to "the coolest thing I'll ever see". Henry pulls out a battery from his backpack, and a little squre thing that looks like some sort of plastic computer chip. He holds the chip to the top of the battery and an intense blue light starts shining out of the tip. Okay, admittedly it was somewhat interesting, however it was FAR from the coolest thing I've ever seen. I feign interest anyways because, hey, Henry could use some positive encouragement. So Henry goes on to tell me that what I've just witnessed is the future of energy for the entire world. Apparently Henry designed this chip, this solar chip of sorts, and he is now working on writing a proposal to NASA, in order that they might use his techonogly to benefit all of mankind. See, current solar chips only harness about 25-30% of the energy that the sun puts off, however, Henry's chip can harness 70% percent!!! Henry assures me that the US will soon be running entirely off of his chip. That is of course if the Taiwanese and Chinese don't steal his invention first. Henry is very skeptical of them stealing his idea.
So Henry is really involved in telling me all of this now, stopping occasionally to spit tobacco juice into his coffee cup. He brings up graph after graph on his computer, showing me the different energy ranges that this chip captures, utilizing the 3 hidden energy zones of the sun of course. Also, the secret number is 77 apparently. What it's use is I guess we'll never know, for Henry forgot to tell me, but he did remember to tell me that 77 is THE number.
After 20 minutes of listening to Henry give me a crash course in solar energy and the physics behind capturing energy from the sun, I could only fake interest and comprehension for seconds more. Thankfully my co-worker saved the day by showing up and giving me an excuse to get the hell out of there.
I may never fully know just what Henry was telling me tonight, however, when he patents his chip and becomes a multi-millionaire, which he assured me would undoubtedly happen, at least I can tell everyone I knew Henry back in the day. And I also now know the secret number. I'm so lucky.
So to set the scene for tonight's episode; the store closes at 11:00 on saturdays, so around 10:50 I go outside to give the ole 10 minute warning to the fellow sitting outside who is obviously hard at work on something. Usually the 10 minute warning does the trick, however, when I went outside to lock up the furniture at 11:10 he was still going at it on his laptop.
So I tell him that he can stay here as long as I'm able to lock up the furniture around him, and his response to this is, "I've been unemployed for a year and a half. I'll go home now, it's okay. I'm just so hard at work on this. I'm unemployed. And I'm working on this."
Now, working at a coffeeshop can be akin to being a bartender, in that sometimes you get to play 'be my free psychologist', so I take a seat next to him and start to engage him in a little dialogue. I don't remember it verbatim, but I'll try to remember the important things. So I ask him if he works in computers and he replies that he doesn't, if I have a minute he'll show me what he does, in fact, he'll show me "the coolest thing I've ever seen. Ever". This piques my interest so i get up and come a bit closer, standing to the side of him to see what he's going to show me on the ole computer. But no. He tells me that what he's going to show me isn't on the computer. First, he tells me, he needs to pack in another lump of chewing tobacco.
I should probably add a little character description here, if I'm to be even a decent storyteller. This man, Henry we'll call him, even though I have NO idea what his name is, he just kinda looks like a Henry, anyways, Henry is probably late 20's, early 30's, a fairly 'normal' looking individual. However, he seemed on edge, maybe a little drunk, maybe a little high, maybe a bit too much chewing tobacco. It was obvious that something was a tad off. He also mentioned that he was unemployed at least 10 times throughout the conversation.
So, back to "the coolest thing I'll ever see". Henry pulls out a battery from his backpack, and a little squre thing that looks like some sort of plastic computer chip. He holds the chip to the top of the battery and an intense blue light starts shining out of the tip. Okay, admittedly it was somewhat interesting, however it was FAR from the coolest thing I've ever seen. I feign interest anyways because, hey, Henry could use some positive encouragement. So Henry goes on to tell me that what I've just witnessed is the future of energy for the entire world. Apparently Henry designed this chip, this solar chip of sorts, and he is now working on writing a proposal to NASA, in order that they might use his techonogly to benefit all of mankind. See, current solar chips only harness about 25-30% of the energy that the sun puts off, however, Henry's chip can harness 70% percent!!! Henry assures me that the US will soon be running entirely off of his chip. That is of course if the Taiwanese and Chinese don't steal his invention first. Henry is very skeptical of them stealing his idea.
So Henry is really involved in telling me all of this now, stopping occasionally to spit tobacco juice into his coffee cup. He brings up graph after graph on his computer, showing me the different energy ranges that this chip captures, utilizing the 3 hidden energy zones of the sun of course. Also, the secret number is 77 apparently. What it's use is I guess we'll never know, for Henry forgot to tell me, but he did remember to tell me that 77 is THE number.
After 20 minutes of listening to Henry give me a crash course in solar energy and the physics behind capturing energy from the sun, I could only fake interest and comprehension for seconds more. Thankfully my co-worker saved the day by showing up and giving me an excuse to get the hell out of there.
I may never fully know just what Henry was telling me tonight, however, when he patents his chip and becomes a multi-millionaire, which he assured me would undoubtedly happen, at least I can tell everyone I knew Henry back in the day. And I also now know the secret number. I'm so lucky.