Holy Sarcasm, Batman!
First Post - Hi! To give a bit of background, I've RP'ed on the internet a lot, and IRL a bit. I've become quite adept at making things up on the spur of the moment. I also have a love for trivia, which I tend to memorize way easier then anything else.
This combination came into play when I was on the bus, heading to the Supermall to pick up some sushi to take home for dinner.
Me: Damn, the batteries on my MP3 player are dead. Ah well, It might be interesting to talk to some of the people on here.
Fundierella behind me: Ya know, my life has been SO much better since I let Jesus into it!
Me: Why don't I like the sound of that?
Fundierella: I mean, I didn't understand why Christians would hate gays so much. I mean, I know they're gross, but I didn't know they destroyed a whole town and tried to rape angels and stuff!
Me: Ah, and that would be why.
Fundierella: But I don't understand why they be gay in the first place. I mean, if you can cure it, why get it?
This is where I start making stuff up. Please note: I don't believe ANY of what I'm saying here, I was trying to be sarcastic and witty.
Me: Well, that's actually because of the cursed blackberries.
Fundierella: ... what? What ARE you talking about?
Me: Well, Satan spits on blackberries that are still on the vine the second Saturday of each month. Those that eat those blackberries get the devil inside them, and turn gay. That's why there's more gays around now instead of one hundred years ago, because we have refrigeration now, so blackberries that would go bad then can be eaten all year round now. That's also why some people think that they are born gay, since their parents fed them the cursed blackberries when they were little kids. And that's also why they can be cured, too.
Fundierella: ...
Me: Ok, let's wrap this up with something really bad, so she can tell I'm being silly. It's also why God hates black people, since they used to be white people that worshiped the devil by rubbing his cursed blackberries on them, so God cursed them and turned them black*. Which is why black cats are used in Satan worship. And why his holiday is Halloween, since he celebrates the last day in October because of all the people he's going to infect. There, that should do it.
*which, if you've ever gotten something stained with blackberry juice, would mean we would have purple people, rather then black. But, like I said, I was just making crap up.
Now, I was expecting response A: "Yeah, right. You're going to hell for making fun of the Lord!" or B: "Ahahahah, that's pretty funny." What I got was C:
Fundierella: Holy &#%@! That makes so much sense! I have to tell the church next Sunday! Wait, how do you know this?
Me: Crap... Ah, I got it! Well, you know how boysenberries kind of look and taste like blackberries? It was because of Bishop James Boysen, who asked God to make a new berry for all those that liked blackberries but didn't want to take the chance of Satan cursing them. And now for the wrap-up... I saw it on-line.
Fundierella: OHHH.... oh my God, I have to tell them to tell everyone to start getting rid of blackberries in stores!
At this time, she gets off of the bus. I watch her leave, and spend the rest of the trip home smacking my head into the bus seat. I never did get any sushi, I decided to take us out to Black Angus, since I had used up all my bull.
Onezvita.
This combination came into play when I was on the bus, heading to the Supermall to pick up some sushi to take home for dinner.
Me: Damn, the batteries on my MP3 player are dead. Ah well, It might be interesting to talk to some of the people on here.
Fundierella behind me: Ya know, my life has been SO much better since I let Jesus into it!
Me: Why don't I like the sound of that?
Fundierella: I mean, I didn't understand why Christians would hate gays so much. I mean, I know they're gross, but I didn't know they destroyed a whole town and tried to rape angels and stuff!
Me: Ah, and that would be why.
Fundierella: But I don't understand why they be gay in the first place. I mean, if you can cure it, why get it?
This is where I start making stuff up. Please note: I don't believe ANY of what I'm saying here, I was trying to be sarcastic and witty.
Me: Well, that's actually because of the cursed blackberries.
Fundierella: ... what? What ARE you talking about?
Me: Well, Satan spits on blackberries that are still on the vine the second Saturday of each month. Those that eat those blackberries get the devil inside them, and turn gay. That's why there's more gays around now instead of one hundred years ago, because we have refrigeration now, so blackberries that would go bad then can be eaten all year round now. That's also why some people think that they are born gay, since their parents fed them the cursed blackberries when they were little kids. And that's also why they can be cured, too.
Fundierella: ...
Me: Ok, let's wrap this up with something really bad, so she can tell I'm being silly. It's also why God hates black people, since they used to be white people that worshiped the devil by rubbing his cursed blackberries on them, so God cursed them and turned them black*. Which is why black cats are used in Satan worship. And why his holiday is Halloween, since he celebrates the last day in October because of all the people he's going to infect. There, that should do it.
*which, if you've ever gotten something stained with blackberry juice, would mean we would have purple people, rather then black. But, like I said, I was just making crap up.
Now, I was expecting response A: "Yeah, right. You're going to hell for making fun of the Lord!" or B: "Ahahahah, that's pretty funny." What I got was C:
Fundierella: Holy &#%@! That makes so much sense! I have to tell the church next Sunday! Wait, how do you know this?
Me: Crap... Ah, I got it! Well, you know how boysenberries kind of look and taste like blackberries? It was because of Bishop James Boysen, who asked God to make a new berry for all those that liked blackberries but didn't want to take the chance of Satan cursing them. And now for the wrap-up... I saw it on-line.
Fundierella: OHHH.... oh my God, I have to tell them to tell everyone to start getting rid of blackberries in stores!
At this time, she gets off of the bus. I watch her leave, and spend the rest of the trip home smacking my head into the bus seat. I never did get any sushi, I decided to take us out to Black Angus, since I had used up all my bull.
Onezvita.