I've Missed Y'all
Mi gente, mi gente, mi gente! What's the deal? I have really been slacking on writing in my journal lately. It isn't intentional but it just seems like it's never the right time cuz there's always so much going on. But I'm here today....feeling good......smelling good (as Maria would say lol)......looking good. I'm not one to brag but I look hella good today gotdamnit lol. I am doing it and doing it and doing it well. And I have on my Dominican soufflé (lmao Tre) so I'm smelling pretty edible right now. And it is beautiful outside so I am happy! I just wish I were able to be outside enjoying the weather than to be here stuck at this gotdamn job. But oh well I will make the most of it. Ummm.....let's see....oh nothing new going on since the last time I posted. As always, same shyt, different day.
I want to share with y'all a lil sumthin sumthin that I wrote. I have a really, really hard time expressing myself. It's like I have all of these feelings swirling around in my head but when it's time to put them down on paper, they come out all wrong. I wasn't gonna put post it but because y'all are my folks...... *ok I'm sorry I have to put a sidebar right here....I just swallowed a sunflower seed that was still in the shell lmao....this is why I should stop eating them*.....I decided to share it. It's really just a lot of random thoughts about shyt I've been through. OK so here goes:
Back To Me
I let you into my body
But more importantly
Into the deepest part of my soul
Places no one has been before or since
But you betrayed me
You played me
You said you loved me
Love isn't supposed to hurt
At least not this bad
If this is what it feels like.....
I'll pass
I never again want to experience pain
Like the pain you've given me
I allowed you to get the best of me
In gaining you I lost myself
I promised I'd never let
Anyone have that power over me
But I surrendered to you
Because I trusted you
I was fooled by
That smile....that kiss
Those eyes.....those lies
I looked into your eyes
Searching for what you held inside
I saw honesty, trust, passion
A closer look revealed that
Those weren't your feelings at all
They were reflections of my own
I can't believe you hurt me
What did I do to deserve this?
You know I was down to ride for you
I lied for you
Cried for you
Died for you
Committed emotional suicide for you
I'm tired of you
Confusing me
Abusing me
Using me
So guess what.....you're losing me
That part of my life is thru
I've traveled that road too many times
So I'm packing my bags
And heading back
Back to sanity
Back to happiness
Back to me
P.S.- Sorry that was so long. My bad.
I want to share with y'all a lil sumthin sumthin that I wrote. I have a really, really hard time expressing myself. It's like I have all of these feelings swirling around in my head but when it's time to put them down on paper, they come out all wrong. I wasn't gonna put post it but because y'all are my folks...... *ok I'm sorry I have to put a sidebar right here....I just swallowed a sunflower seed that was still in the shell lmao....this is why I should stop eating them*.....I decided to share it. It's really just a lot of random thoughts about shyt I've been through. OK so here goes:
Back To Me
I let you into my body
But more importantly
Into the deepest part of my soul
Places no one has been before or since
But you betrayed me
You played me
You said you loved me
Love isn't supposed to hurt
At least not this bad
If this is what it feels like.....
I'll pass
I never again want to experience pain
Like the pain you've given me
I allowed you to get the best of me
In gaining you I lost myself
I promised I'd never let
Anyone have that power over me
But I surrendered to you
Because I trusted you
I was fooled by
That smile....that kiss
Those eyes.....those lies
I looked into your eyes
Searching for what you held inside
I saw honesty, trust, passion
A closer look revealed that
Those weren't your feelings at all
They were reflections of my own
I can't believe you hurt me
What did I do to deserve this?
You know I was down to ride for you
I lied for you
Cried for you
Died for you
Committed emotional suicide for you
I'm tired of you
Confusing me
Abusing me
Using me
So guess what.....you're losing me
That part of my life is thru
I've traveled that road too many times
So I'm packing my bags
And heading back
Back to sanity
Back to happiness
Back to me
P.S.- Sorry that was so long. My bad.