Ratkill!
Yes, yes, yes. The rat (that WAS) in my car can be safely presumed to be dead!
Oh, right, I forgot to give you the backstory:
There was this rat in my car that was nibbling on all the tissues and sheets in the backseat which had all my excellent doodles. Yes, yes, I do that at the signals, its THAT horrible out here. What else am I supposed to do, huh? Ogle at Kaantaben driving the Swift next to my dad's humble 800 or Mansukhbhai spitting his Pan Parag from his shining Skoda's windows, huh?
The RAT. I discovered it when I returned from my latest trip home. The rogue had bits of paper and of all things - feces strewn ALL OVER on the floorboard, car seats... UGH!!!
I got Bahadur to clean the insides with Lizol, but there was more (of both paper bits and feces) the next morning. It was driving me crazy already, so I had to scheme fast. I was even tempted to buy one of those Rs15/- guaranteed to kill rat poisons sold on the strolley off the street, but resisted. I have seen one too many Hindi comedies to be naive anymore. These almost always turn out to be harmless and save many a suicidal lives whether they like it or not. But that's another story.
So, I got delayed at work the next day, but thankfully, FoodWorld was yet to close and they still has the LAST piece of Mortein Rat Kill available. It happens to me all too often to be coincidental. It is some divine scheme against me, but its alright as long as I get what I want when I need it. But that's another story too.
It was pretty easy then on.
Now, see, Mortein claims - "Khaye andar, mare baahar" or something like that, which effectively means it consumes the poison indoors and goes out to die. Though this is all about brand endorsement and exploting a consumers' blind trust in all the glitter they put in ads, yada yada, I did take Mortein's word for it. I was desperate. I placed it on the car floor, said a silent prayer (in my car's favour, of course), and went about the evening as usual.
On Day 2 there were some nibbles in the poison block, bits of it, and the usual all over again. Left the keys with Bahadur to clean up again. Sigh!
On Day 3 and since then there has been no bits of any of those godforsaken things. Yay! I am safely back on the roads. The brakes work, so you can waltz on the road while I drive at a 60. You will live.
Say, am I liable to be take to task by PETA? Does this count as violence against animals? I mean, would they prefer if the rodent had gnawed through my brake wires and I had gone POOF! or right at you and all?
I am sorry, I would not. I prefer to live with my limbs intact and I also care about all of you mortal human beings out there who care more about reaching the other side of the road than the speeding car racing toward you. As a responsible citizen, I care for all your lives, I do. Now that I am about to say I DO for real, I care more so. So what if it comes at the cost of a rat? I can take on PETA for the sake of your lives. No need to thank me, really. I am just doing my duty. All for you. I love y'all and all that.
I am running a temperature and just popped a Crocin. Say, do all anlagesic make one sweat? I am sweating like a pig! ick!
ARGH! SAME SHIT EVERY OTHER DAY. EVERY FUCKING OTHER DAY! X-(
Oh, right, I forgot to give you the backstory:
There was this rat in my car that was nibbling on all the tissues and sheets in the backseat which had all my excellent doodles. Yes, yes, I do that at the signals, its THAT horrible out here. What else am I supposed to do, huh? Ogle at Kaantaben driving the Swift next to my dad's humble 800 or Mansukhbhai spitting his Pan Parag from his shining Skoda's windows, huh?
The RAT. I discovered it when I returned from my latest trip home. The rogue had bits of paper and of all things - feces strewn ALL OVER on the floorboard, car seats... UGH!!!
I got Bahadur to clean the insides with Lizol, but there was more (of both paper bits and feces) the next morning. It was driving me crazy already, so I had to scheme fast. I was even tempted to buy one of those Rs15/- guaranteed to kill rat poisons sold on the strolley off the street, but resisted. I have seen one too many Hindi comedies to be naive anymore. These almost always turn out to be harmless and save many a suicidal lives whether they like it or not. But that's another story.
So, I got delayed at work the next day, but thankfully, FoodWorld was yet to close and they still has the LAST piece of Mortein Rat Kill available. It happens to me all too often to be coincidental. It is some divine scheme against me, but its alright as long as I get what I want when I need it. But that's another story too.
It was pretty easy then on.
Now, see, Mortein claims - "Khaye andar, mare baahar" or something like that, which effectively means it consumes the poison indoors and goes out to die. Though this is all about brand endorsement and exploting a consumers' blind trust in all the glitter they put in ads, yada yada, I did take Mortein's word for it. I was desperate. I placed it on the car floor, said a silent prayer (in my car's favour, of course), and went about the evening as usual.
On Day 2 there were some nibbles in the poison block, bits of it, and the usual all over again. Left the keys with Bahadur to clean up again. Sigh!
On Day 3 and since then there has been no bits of any of those godforsaken things. Yay! I am safely back on the roads. The brakes work, so you can waltz on the road while I drive at a 60. You will live.
Say, am I liable to be take to task by PETA? Does this count as violence against animals? I mean, would they prefer if the rodent had gnawed through my brake wires and I had gone POOF! or right at you and all?
I am sorry, I would not. I prefer to live with my limbs intact and I also care about all of you mortal human beings out there who care more about reaching the other side of the road than the speeding car racing toward you. As a responsible citizen, I care for all your lives, I do. Now that I am about to say I DO for real, I care more so. So what if it comes at the cost of a rat? I can take on PETA for the sake of your lives. No need to thank me, really. I am just doing my duty. All for you. I love y'all and all that.
I am running a temperature and just popped a Crocin. Say, do all anlagesic make one sweat? I am sweating like a pig! ick!
ARGH! SAME SHIT EVERY OTHER DAY. EVERY FUCKING OTHER DAY! X-(