(no subject)
I am pondering at the moment.
i've discovered thanks to jade (git) that all the clothes i want at the moment are really expensive. i'm sorry but you cant find cheap as in julia cheap clothes which are quality. even if you could find them they still wouldnt feel like quality cos you hadn't payed a lot for them. i wanna be thinner and have longer hair and nicer skin. i just dont eat the right foods but even when i do it doesnt make much difference so i dont know what im doing wrong now. i dont get enough exercise cos all i do is stay in. i just have no motivation to go out unless im seeing scott or having an outing with jade cos i kno i can vent all this stuff on her. i enjoy the fact she complains cos i feel i can join in whereas im usually quite positive about everything, jade just makes me feel normal and like, i should be feeling the way i do feel about things. we might have a lot of differences in tastes but at the end of the day we speak the same language and we do understand eachother for the most part. its nice to have a friend with no faults. i wanna be like natural cos i hate wearing eyeliner and make up it makes me feel dirty and i know i wouldnt have to use it if i just stopped cos it makes my skin bad and it clogs it all up. i want to be tanned and toned and have the world at my feet. i wanna know what it feels like to be full on like...there is nothing i can do to make my life better but i dont think anyone can ever feel like that i think there is always something different to change. if everyone felt like that then we'd all look the same and have the same lives. the only reason we pick on stuff to change about ourselves is because we compare and we pick out stuff from different people. we try to take loads of other peoples good points and squish it all together in an attempt to make ourselves better than everyone. everyone just wants to be looked at first, including myself. altho i've bagged my lover for now thank you very much :)
ummm i have nothing else to say.
i've discovered thanks to jade (git) that all the clothes i want at the moment are really expensive. i'm sorry but you cant find cheap as in julia cheap clothes which are quality. even if you could find them they still wouldnt feel like quality cos you hadn't payed a lot for them. i wanna be thinner and have longer hair and nicer skin. i just dont eat the right foods but even when i do it doesnt make much difference so i dont know what im doing wrong now. i dont get enough exercise cos all i do is stay in. i just have no motivation to go out unless im seeing scott or having an outing with jade cos i kno i can vent all this stuff on her. i enjoy the fact she complains cos i feel i can join in whereas im usually quite positive about everything, jade just makes me feel normal and like, i should be feeling the way i do feel about things. we might have a lot of differences in tastes but at the end of the day we speak the same language and we do understand eachother for the most part. its nice to have a friend with no faults. i wanna be like natural cos i hate wearing eyeliner and make up it makes me feel dirty and i know i wouldnt have to use it if i just stopped cos it makes my skin bad and it clogs it all up. i want to be tanned and toned and have the world at my feet. i wanna know what it feels like to be full on like...there is nothing i can do to make my life better but i dont think anyone can ever feel like that i think there is always something different to change. if everyone felt like that then we'd all look the same and have the same lives. the only reason we pick on stuff to change about ourselves is because we compare and we pick out stuff from different people. we try to take loads of other peoples good points and squish it all together in an attempt to make ourselves better than everyone. everyone just wants to be looked at first, including myself. altho i've bagged my lover for now thank you very much :)
ummm i have nothing else to say.