(no subject)
graduation.
is in two days.
holy shit. i thought i was going to be hella happy. but i am actually really sad. high school was fuckin 4 yrs of my life n in those 4 yrs i have changed so much. through the ups and downs i have learned so much in between all the chaos. i dont know like most of my class but i am gonna miss it so much...weird.
lately i have been hella thinking about some of the experiences in high school. who i use to be friends with, who i liked, who i didnt like. its crazy.
i felt so foolish. last week i hella broke down to sarak when talking to her about this one time after sophmore year in the summer i was hella crying about this guy and she came rushing over to cheer me up. the reason y i broke down talking to her. cuz i realized how everyone is moving away going on their seperate ways. and i am going to miss them.
for english i had to do this profile thing about my high school years and i was reading hella old livejournals. holy shit. that got me so bad. i remember the love sqaure. JENASMOREENANON. the ninjas, the possie, etc. shit i cant believe how so much as changed.
it sucks i dont want anyone to leave. but yet i am so excited for them and happy for them. fuckin aye n vy lu is going to be in cal poly. wtf m i going to do without her. i wouldnt make senior year without her. her n jen r my best friends n now she is leaving me. then there is kathleen who is gonna be in texas wtF!?. n even tho we werent really friends the end of jr year (my fault of not telling another friend the truth about a situation) she has still been there for me and some one i can talk too. i love her. Sara K is going to chico which i dont think is that far but still she will be gone which is sad because even tho this girl is random. When I need some one she will go any length to help me out. Even if we haven’t hung out in days. Then big mike and taylor. Going to the marines holy crap whut m I going to do with out those boys?! I am gonna miss them oh so much Shit!!! N then all the non seniors who we still be at Irvington…ugh things wont be the same!
basically i have made a lot of bad decidsions which include...guys, loosing friendships, not being honest, and partying just a little too much, but in the end i dont regret it because it taught me so much in th end. but i am truely sorry for anything i have done that has hurt any of u. since high school is over i really wouldnt want to leave anything on a bad note.
i think mostly its a scarying feeling now that i am not in HS whut the fuck now? yes college...but now this is like starting a new life. shit dude. with all this sadness i am still so fuckin stoked. mixed feelings fo sho.