Mmm....apathetic goodness.
Well, you know how I said I would cry last night sometime? I did. Oh LORD, I did.
You see, Anthony now wants to join the Air Force instead of going to the WyoTech Sacramento branch like he'd originally planned, meaning he'd be in boot camp for about two months and then have to serve two years (or something).
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.
After we'd gotten off the phone, I lay in bed and just cryed my eyes out for about an hour, wallowing in the combined misery of how that could be the end of our relationship AND how much school sucks. I mean, think about it. He goes off to wherever-the-hell-he-goes, with only phone calls and letters between us, while I'm basically starting a new life in Sacramento, nervous and lonely. I'm bound to change, and so will he. What if we stay together for all that time, only to get back together and realize we don't love each other anymore? Two years is a long time. He's confident that things will work out, but I can't help but be realistic (even if it is pessimistic). I don't want to ever stop loving him, but I'm afraid. It's almost too much for me to handle.
When I get like this, I spend money like it's nothing. Today when I went to get Lindsey's b-day present, I also bought a pair of punk Hello Kitty sandals and a Playboy bunny shirt from Hot Topic, three manga's from Waldenbook's, and a giant poster board and a pack of batteries from Staple's. Hey, I NEED that poster board, okay? Don't judge me!!
And those sandal's are cute. And the shirt. Oh go to hell, it's MY money!!!
I'm starting to feel that lump in my throat again.
You see, Anthony now wants to join the Air Force instead of going to the WyoTech Sacramento branch like he'd originally planned, meaning he'd be in boot camp for about two months and then have to serve two years (or something).
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.
After we'd gotten off the phone, I lay in bed and just cryed my eyes out for about an hour, wallowing in the combined misery of how that could be the end of our relationship AND how much school sucks. I mean, think about it. He goes off to wherever-the-hell-he-goes, with only phone calls and letters between us, while I'm basically starting a new life in Sacramento, nervous and lonely. I'm bound to change, and so will he. What if we stay together for all that time, only to get back together and realize we don't love each other anymore? Two years is a long time. He's confident that things will work out, but I can't help but be realistic (even if it is pessimistic). I don't want to ever stop loving him, but I'm afraid. It's almost too much for me to handle.
When I get like this, I spend money like it's nothing. Today when I went to get Lindsey's b-day present, I also bought a pair of punk Hello Kitty sandals and a Playboy bunny shirt from Hot Topic, three manga's from Waldenbook's, and a giant poster board and a pack of batteries from Staple's. Hey, I NEED that poster board, okay? Don't judge me!!
And those sandal's are cute. And the shirt. Oh go to hell, it's MY money!!!
I'm starting to feel that lump in my throat again.