(no subject)

[mo_chailin_rua]

the divorce is depressing me.

i'm doing the right thing, aren't i?

i know i am. but...

20 years. gone. just like that. well i know it takes longer but it feels that way.

do i still love him? did i ever? i must have at some point. i don't know if i do now. and even if i do...

love doesn't change what he's done.

i can't stay married to someone i can't trust any further than i can throw him. actually i could probably throw him further than i trust him. i don't trust him at all.

i just feel like something is around the corner, something just waiting to slap me back down again.

i feel like i'm gonna fall apart again.

i don't want to. i can't afford to.