one fordy fif

[mnnrm]

the weather is really nice out right now (23:23) and i keep feeling like i just want to go out and walk around,,, i hate how things are so far and also how im really alone,,, "am i just paranoid?,,,," (♫basket case♫ - green day meshing perfectfly) idk,,, i want to hang out with people,,, i think,,, also, i might try to get a job at jemb's starbucks cause i REALLY fucking NEED a job, tho im not so sure that shes that keen on the idea,,, who knows,,, i miss michael and laura,,, i havent heard from either of them in so damn long and i dont know if hearing from them would be anything that actually would be anything but akward since we all kinda split apart but theres this chasm in me that i thought there wasnt,,, g-d i really fucking CURSE the day that we all stopped hanging out,,, such a fucking childish and regrettable mistake! SHIT! seriously hearing these songs i get flashbacks to hanging out together,,, i miss you guys so much,,, you have no idea how important you both were and apparently still are to me,,, at the same time i really miss our whole group! everyone was a huge support for me and helped shape me into who i am today but apparently im not cool enough or some other made-up bullshit excuse for myself to have kept in touch with anyone except maybe chavafer whose friendship i treasure but still i fuckin fail to nurture the relationship and it doesnt help that shes like five bajillion miles away,,, i jus dont know anymore,,, theres so many things i regret,,, and i really just want to live a life with NO REGRETS,,, i love you all (jennifer, tiffany, heaather, crystal, carol, laura, michael, daniel, and all the rest(i dont even fucking remember the names!)) and hope that somehow you all know i do,,, i think im gonna go sit outside in the breeze and shine my laserpointer into the trees and some other melodramatic blargh!,,,

ps: i think i need a quieter keyboard to keep my typing silent and not wake random people up,,,