Falling down
Up and down
I keep going through the same cycle and it's starting to go down again. I had a decent weekend with a friend this weekend, thanks CY, though I still need your PJ's. The next day or rather later that same day after she left I started to fall again.
I don't really know how to describe it i just kind of saw my self from the outside and didn't like what I saw. not only physcially but all the flaws and all the shortcomings that I are so overwhelming i just had stop and escape. My only escape was to finish work and sleep for as long as possible.
Anyway that was one of the recessions that i've been going through. Yes thats an econ term cause thats a class that i'm taking now. Which is another topic but maybe later or maybe not. Basically it boils down to that I am putting school as in my BA off for a quarter or two to weigh my options. Not completely but just to see what I have available and what I want to persue.
Right now I think my options are as follows and while some are admittedly dreams I'm still going to chase them:
Stanford
Santa Clara
California
SJSU
I don't know where I'm headed right now I just know that I feel lost and I feel like I have little to no direction and I just wish i knew what life had in store for me. I know we're not supposed to know but I'm trying to take charge of my life or what little i can right now and i've been thinking that i've been doing a decent job of it but right now i feel like i'm slipping and falling down with no handles to grab in order to grab on to...no boot straps to pick my self up with...no ground to slam on and push up off of.
ugh this is depressing me even more so f this crap i need some sunshine and butterflies now
I keep going through the same cycle and it's starting to go down again. I had a decent weekend with a friend this weekend, thanks CY, though I still need your PJ's. The next day or rather later that same day after she left I started to fall again.
I don't really know how to describe it i just kind of saw my self from the outside and didn't like what I saw. not only physcially but all the flaws and all the shortcomings that I are so overwhelming i just had stop and escape. My only escape was to finish work and sleep for as long as possible.
Anyway that was one of the recessions that i've been going through. Yes thats an econ term cause thats a class that i'm taking now. Which is another topic but maybe later or maybe not. Basically it boils down to that I am putting school as in my BA off for a quarter or two to weigh my options. Not completely but just to see what I have available and what I want to persue.
Right now I think my options are as follows and while some are admittedly dreams I'm still going to chase them:
Stanford
Santa Clara
California
SJSU
I don't know where I'm headed right now I just know that I feel lost and I feel like I have little to no direction and I just wish i knew what life had in store for me. I know we're not supposed to know but I'm trying to take charge of my life or what little i can right now and i've been thinking that i've been doing a decent job of it but right now i feel like i'm slipping and falling down with no handles to grab in order to grab on to...no boot straps to pick my self up with...no ground to slam on and push up off of.
ugh this is depressing me even more so f this crap i need some sunshine and butterflies now