(no subject)
I haven't updated this thing in over 3 months. The reason...the insanity that is being a nursing student.
God is so awesome, I am so glad Jesus is my savior. I have no clue where I would be if I didn't know him.
This semester has been THE most difficult semester of my college career. I feel discouraged and unsure of what next year will bring. I eagerly await summer, and the rest that will bring. I feel like all my passion has been drained from me and honestly, I hate it. And its not just my passion for nursing, its my passion for everything. I feel worn so thin and stretched in a million different directions by a million and one different things. My mind is in a constant state of chaos...and I hate it.
Next year will be different. I have a feeling about it.
All I know though, is that God is going to work and he is going to do buckwild things and I cant wait.
Right now though, I need to focus on whats immediately infront of me and that is whether or not I will pass all of my classes. There is one that I am worried about. I dont know. I study so hard in that class, I know and understand the material but yet I can't seem to do well on the exams. It frustrates me, I am not sure why I am struggling so much. I am just going to keep praying that God will pull me through like he always does. If I get a D, that would mean I have to be in school an extra semester. Failing that class would feel like total and complete failure in life to me. I know that it isnt and that I have struggled with so much this semester with my health and with my family and with life and that has taken its toll but I want to succeed, to prove that I didn't let any of that stuff get the best of me, that I didn't let it win. The pride in me also thinks, "Kelly Shuggars doesn't fail classes. Kelly Shuggars is smart and deserves better." But that is only a whisper because the rest of me knows that sometimes even smart people fail and I desevere whatever it is that I earn and that if I get a D, that I earned it. ugh...
I feel so weary. Only about this one class though. Life is such a gift and I have so much joy in the new life I have in Christ. I love life and especially my life. I honestly have a great life better than 95% of the world and to be honest I have done nothing to deserve it, its such a blessing. What that means though is that I need to use what I have to make a difference.
I went to displaceme this weekend and it was such a great experience. They had this video of a little girl talking and she had AIDS and my heart broke and I once again remembered exactly why I want to be a nurse and my heart was once again ripped right out of my chest for Africa. I can not wait to go, Thought I have to. I have to wait for God and his timing and his plan.
ok well I am suppose to be studying for my research exam tomorrow so I am going to do that.
God is so awesome, I am so glad Jesus is my savior. I have no clue where I would be if I didn't know him.
This semester has been THE most difficult semester of my college career. I feel discouraged and unsure of what next year will bring. I eagerly await summer, and the rest that will bring. I feel like all my passion has been drained from me and honestly, I hate it. And its not just my passion for nursing, its my passion for everything. I feel worn so thin and stretched in a million different directions by a million and one different things. My mind is in a constant state of chaos...and I hate it.
Next year will be different. I have a feeling about it.
All I know though, is that God is going to work and he is going to do buckwild things and I cant wait.
Right now though, I need to focus on whats immediately infront of me and that is whether or not I will pass all of my classes. There is one that I am worried about. I dont know. I study so hard in that class, I know and understand the material but yet I can't seem to do well on the exams. It frustrates me, I am not sure why I am struggling so much. I am just going to keep praying that God will pull me through like he always does. If I get a D, that would mean I have to be in school an extra semester. Failing that class would feel like total and complete failure in life to me. I know that it isnt and that I have struggled with so much this semester with my health and with my family and with life and that has taken its toll but I want to succeed, to prove that I didn't let any of that stuff get the best of me, that I didn't let it win. The pride in me also thinks, "Kelly Shuggars doesn't fail classes. Kelly Shuggars is smart and deserves better." But that is only a whisper because the rest of me knows that sometimes even smart people fail and I desevere whatever it is that I earn and that if I get a D, that I earned it. ugh...
I feel so weary. Only about this one class though. Life is such a gift and I have so much joy in the new life I have in Christ. I love life and especially my life. I honestly have a great life better than 95% of the world and to be honest I have done nothing to deserve it, its such a blessing. What that means though is that I need to use what I have to make a difference.
I went to displaceme this weekend and it was such a great experience. They had this video of a little girl talking and she had AIDS and my heart broke and I once again remembered exactly why I want to be a nurse and my heart was once again ripped right out of my chest for Africa. I can not wait to go, Thought I have to. I have to wait for God and his timing and his plan.
ok well I am suppose to be studying for my research exam tomorrow so I am going to do that.