Segundo
So, my current boyfriend (of roughly 2 and a half years) was engaged before.
Super pretty ring, wedding dates, dress pick out, families met, all that jazz.
I've been trying to deal with this for a long time, and I'm getting to a point where I honestly don't know if I can. I've got nobody to talk to about it, and anyone I try with simply wonders why I don't "just get over it."
Because engagement is one medium sized step below marriage. Marriage is a forever deal in my eyes, and if he was that close with someone else how do I know he's simply not foolish?
Not to mention the first 6 months of our relationship he constantly compared me to her, not to mention I cleaned his filthy room and pulled out four (I shit you not, four) hefty bags of her shit- which he then refused to throw away and then went through and "reminisced" < his word. Not to mention he and his mother still keeps both the ring and the engagement photos against my tear filled request. Not to mention his younger brother constantly tells me how much I look like her.
He tells me I'm silly, it was a child's mistake, he loves me more... but his actions do not match his words and he is insensitive to my concerns and depression on the subject.
Plus I just found out that I am a recyled pet name, a recycled song and a recycled love.
Dude, fuck that shit. I deserve so much more than hand me downs.
I've spent nearly 3 years on this fucking piece of shit and here I am.
Livejournaling.
Not talking. Not working it out. Not asking for a break,
because I've done all of that. Multiple times.
I've made my wishes and feelings explicitly clear, I'm a blunt person.
so I'm typing into empty cyberspace wondering if I really am as crazy as he tells me I am.
God- fuck. Fuck this.
I don't want to get married.
I don't want his ill mannered, endocrine challenged children.
I don't want his hoarder hick family.
I don't want his filthy, shitty car.
I don't want his musical theatre.
I don't want his english doctorate.
I don't want his clumsy petting.
I don't want his hand-me-down love.
but Jesus,
I just hate being so alone
Super pretty ring, wedding dates, dress pick out, families met, all that jazz.
I've been trying to deal with this for a long time, and I'm getting to a point where I honestly don't know if I can. I've got nobody to talk to about it, and anyone I try with simply wonders why I don't "just get over it."
Because engagement is one medium sized step below marriage. Marriage is a forever deal in my eyes, and if he was that close with someone else how do I know he's simply not foolish?
Not to mention the first 6 months of our relationship he constantly compared me to her, not to mention I cleaned his filthy room and pulled out four (I shit you not, four) hefty bags of her shit- which he then refused to throw away and then went through and "reminisced" < his word. Not to mention he and his mother still keeps both the ring and the engagement photos against my tear filled request. Not to mention his younger brother constantly tells me how much I look like her.
He tells me I'm silly, it was a child's mistake, he loves me more... but his actions do not match his words and he is insensitive to my concerns and depression on the subject.
Plus I just found out that I am a recyled pet name, a recycled song and a recycled love.
Dude, fuck that shit. I deserve so much more than hand me downs.
I've spent nearly 3 years on this fucking piece of shit and here I am.
Livejournaling.
Not talking. Not working it out. Not asking for a break,
because I've done all of that. Multiple times.
I've made my wishes and feelings explicitly clear, I'm a blunt person.
so I'm typing into empty cyberspace wondering if I really am as crazy as he tells me I am.
God- fuck. Fuck this.
I don't want to get married.
I don't want his ill mannered, endocrine challenged children.
I don't want his hoarder hick family.
I don't want his filthy, shitty car.
I don't want his musical theatre.
I don't want his english doctorate.
I don't want his clumsy petting.
I don't want his hand-me-down love.
but Jesus,
I just hate being so alone