The Right Mistake
As I'm typing this now, I'm really crying...
I read something on FB a couple of minutes ago, since it's FB, I will not deny it's from a "friend" of mine.
I will not elaborate what the blog post is about, but I will borrow and alter the lines he put in there:
" I don't want to be perfect, I just want to be right "
Suddenly, I felt a big pound of pain physically in my chest. I started to burst in tears, ran like a crazy chicken to my door and locked it. I was crying and crying and up to now while typing this, my tears just won't stop.
All my life, I don't want to say that I lived in a perfect state, but as much as possible, I always set my standards and it should not be broken. I hate mistakes, especially if it will be done by me. I am a perfectionist. I can't allow something wrong to happen in my life. I live in a box, not because I'm afraid to get out of it, but -- it's just me.
Friends told me, I have a heart of stone, which in a comedic manner, I always answer "I'm heartless~~". It's just because, it's me -- I always wanted to be ruled by my brain because I always think it's the right thing to do.
Way back, when I was 19 years old, I met someone. I must say, he astounded me with his antics and made me admire him in a very short span of time. I didn't know that in the future (talking about now) he would turn my life upside down.
He made me see through things I've been missing out in my life -- which is making a mistake. I learned to understand things and accept things like;
"There are some things that you just can't explain"
"Sometimes you needed to get loose, it gives someone a good feeling"
"Impossible things happen"
"Don't think too much"
and many more. More and more things that clouded up the "MM's idea of living inside the box is just ME." Usually if things don't fit in my rules of life, I omit it without thinking twice.
He was the right mistake that I made in my life. I needed to omit him but I can't, maybe because:
"Impossible things really do happen, some things can't really be explained and one point in my life I need to get loose because I need to stop thinking too much for me (-- once in my life) to feel that "good feeling".
I read something on FB a couple of minutes ago, since it's FB, I will not deny it's from a "friend" of mine.
I will not elaborate what the blog post is about, but I will borrow and alter the lines he put in there:
" I don't want to be perfect, I just want to be right "
Suddenly, I felt a big pound of pain physically in my chest. I started to burst in tears, ran like a crazy chicken to my door and locked it. I was crying and crying and up to now while typing this, my tears just won't stop.
All my life, I don't want to say that I lived in a perfect state, but as much as possible, I always set my standards and it should not be broken. I hate mistakes, especially if it will be done by me. I am a perfectionist. I can't allow something wrong to happen in my life. I live in a box, not because I'm afraid to get out of it, but -- it's just me.
Friends told me, I have a heart of stone, which in a comedic manner, I always answer "I'm heartless~~". It's just because, it's me -- I always wanted to be ruled by my brain because I always think it's the right thing to do.
Way back, when I was 19 years old, I met someone. I must say, he astounded me with his antics and made me admire him in a very short span of time. I didn't know that in the future (talking about now) he would turn my life upside down.
He made me see through things I've been missing out in my life -- which is making a mistake. I learned to understand things and accept things like;
"There are some things that you just can't explain"
"Sometimes you needed to get loose, it gives someone a good feeling"
"Impossible things happen"
"Don't think too much"
and many more. More and more things that clouded up the "MM's idea of living inside the box is just ME." Usually if things don't fit in my rules of life, I omit it without thinking twice.
He was the right mistake that I made in my life. I needed to omit him but I can't, maybe because:
"Impossible things really do happen, some things can't really be explained and one point in my life I need to get loose because I need to stop thinking too much for me (-- once in my life) to feel that "good feeling".