(no subject)
Its hard to explain how I am feeling these days... WSU has been fun so far, but it is not cutting it. I feel like I try to keep myself constantly busy with random things so I don't start to miss all that I am missing in my life. I want to leave this place, start over somewhere new... maybe even be closer to home so I can be around those people who know me for me and not wsu me. I don't want to live in a house full of girls anymore, I want to move out, sam and I both. I just want to be on my own and not be told what to do by a bunch of bitchy girls that are so similar yet so different from me. Sometimes it is hard to deal with all of their superficial crap that they like to hand out... one person specifically who is one of my roommates is a huge downer.
I almost feel like I am slowly slipping into a depression... one that I do not know how to fix, and one that I want to run from. I don't want to deal with anything or anyone right now. I just want to be alone by myself doing nothing. I want to feel peace, and that is something I don't feel over here in pullman. I miss Lynds, Ty, my family, my bed... everything that I lived with for so many years and had to give up just a year ago. It is weird that I am feeling like this now... you would think that after your freshman year you would be over all of this missing home saddness crap... but honestly I have to say I will never get over it. I wish I were 5 again so I could run through the sprinkler, play barbies, camp in the back yard, hang out with Amy and Eric and the whole neighborhood. I miss those times so much and its crazy that they flew by so fast. I have to grow up now, be a big kid... it sucks... but I guess that is life for you.
hope everyone else is feeling better than me right now... I am probably just PMSing and being all depressed... but we won't know if that is true for a few more days... love
I almost feel like I am slowly slipping into a depression... one that I do not know how to fix, and one that I want to run from. I don't want to deal with anything or anyone right now. I just want to be alone by myself doing nothing. I want to feel peace, and that is something I don't feel over here in pullman. I miss Lynds, Ty, my family, my bed... everything that I lived with for so many years and had to give up just a year ago. It is weird that I am feeling like this now... you would think that after your freshman year you would be over all of this missing home saddness crap... but honestly I have to say I will never get over it. I wish I were 5 again so I could run through the sprinkler, play barbies, camp in the back yard, hang out with Amy and Eric and the whole neighborhood. I miss those times so much and its crazy that they flew by so fast. I have to grow up now, be a big kid... it sucks... but I guess that is life for you.
hope everyone else is feeling better than me right now... I am probably just PMSing and being all depressed... but we won't know if that is true for a few more days... love