#264: "The past is never dead. It's not even past." William Faulkner, Requiem for a Nun.
Does the past stay with us? I suppose it does. I don't live in the past as much as people might think. But I would absolutely say that the past inspires most of what I do and shapes who I am. So, in a way, I do take it with me always. I think about all of the people I've lost every day. Thankfully, it's not all bad. I think we owe it to the people who have passed on to remember their lives more vividly than their deaths. In my case, that's hard sometimes, but I try to think about the good times. And, at the end of the day, there are many good things to remember. I have more than two decades worth of memories of my dad. The day he died shouldn’t be the most memorable day of our life together. The day he died created Daredevil, but I can’t have it take over everything else.
I know Foggy thinks I dwell on things, or over think things. I just know that with everything I could dwell on if I were the type, I’d have little time for anything else. There are people who are trapped in bad memories for as long as they live, and are never able to move forward. I’m not one of those people. I still hope for a happy ending, whatever that might be. Nothing will ever take away everything I’ve faced in my life or make it any easier or less painful, but I can’t give up. I’m never going to stop trying to make sense of things or give my time here some kind of purpose. I’ve learned to live with my past, the good and the bad. There are many things I'd change if I could. Too many to count. But I can't let the past drown me. Living with it and living in it are two different things.
I know Foggy thinks I dwell on things, or over think things. I just know that with everything I could dwell on if I were the type, I’d have little time for anything else. There are people who are trapped in bad memories for as long as they live, and are never able to move forward. I’m not one of those people. I still hope for a happy ending, whatever that might be. Nothing will ever take away everything I’ve faced in my life or make it any easier or less painful, but I can’t give up. I’m never going to stop trying to make sense of things or give my time here some kind of purpose. I’ve learned to live with my past, the good and the bad. There are many things I'd change if I could. Too many to count. But I can't let the past drown me. Living with it and living in it are two different things.