im having fun. and im emotional. good combination.
so yesterday. wait no lets start with thursday. i spend the night at shauns again. and him and his girlfriend basically broke up because she cheated on him too and the feelings just werent there. and he said he usually didnt do things like that just hooking up. and that he was just really attracted to me. so yeah. those could both be lies. because i swear when i see him i look all gross.
anyways so i spend the night. and its weird. he was even like this is weird. and i was like no shit. i dont do this. i dont know what im doing. but whatever. it gets better. and so yeah. his roommate steve is gone. and so we have sex again. and this time i give him head. i told him beforehand that i sucked at doing it and i use my teeth and that im just bad. because i am and i just get a gag reflex. oh well. i did. and he said i was the best. except that was for sure a lie. even though i did it like three times. gross. and he ate me out. and he was good at that. i hate talking about this. not hate. i feel weird putting it in my journal. but its like a journal so i can look back i guess.
anyways so yeah. we go to bed. and hes so loud. i told him he was really loud and he said its cause hes congested. but no. maybe not. and so i go to sleep. and i wake up and have to pee. so i take one of shauns sweatshirts and go upstairs and go. and then at like five steve comes back. and im like oh. and hes like you should probably leave, this is why i sleep in the lounge almost every night. and i first i thought he meant because shaun had girls over all the time. then i realized it was because he was so loud. and i was like oh. and then he got naked. and i was like oh god. and then i went with him to sleep in the lounge. and i took shauns blanket. and then steve had his. so he was naked but had the blanket but i still saw more than i wanted to. so we slept on the couches.
then i woke up at like 8 so i went back to the room. and shaun was gone. then he came back from the bathroom. and i was like hey. and i dont know. we had sex again. and it was nice. and just cute the way he is. and then we were just lying in his bed. and ive never done that before with someone. just lied in bed together. naked. its really nice. and comfortable. then steve came back. and we were all trying to sleep. and shaun is still loud even when he just drifts into sleep. and guys kept just walking in because i unlocked the door so when i went to the bathroom i could get back in.
the daniel kid came in and he was making fun of me the night before. and then he saw me in the bed and he just gave me this huge smile. and i think he came back like five times the rest of the morning. and jj came by and was like whoa. and like three other kids. they all just came in and were like oh hey. and then this one boy khyle i think came in and saw me (i was in my tinkerbell blanket cause i was about to get down) he opened the door and closed it right away because he was embarassed. it was cute. then i left at 1043 and i had class at 11. crazy speed walking.
did the whole class thing. then got ryan to take me darcie and andrea surfing. and it was so fun. and i didnt really catch any waves but it was cool still. and we took a picture. then we hung out and stuff. i dont remember. then chris took me darcie and tina night surfing. that was pretty sweet. and i talked with shaun. for like a second. and then it was soo fun. the night surfing thing. chris made fun of us for getting pummeled by waves which he claimed were like a foot and a half. i think they were more like 3. haha. so we go back. and we shower.
and then shaun and i think khyle come to the room and wonder what were doing and stuff. and we dont know and he doesnt know what theyre doing. and he doesnt really know anybody else so he was coming to see me which was nice. but nothing happened. and then darcie and tina went out to go see tinas friend. me and catty were tired (james is stupid) so we stayed in and got remember the titans. i went and got it and there was a crazy crowd downstairs. and i saw shaun. and he was talking with this really pretty blond girl and i am stupid so i just weaved by. and then i came back and walked away and then three guys were following behind me. and it was jj daniel and khyle. and they were like oh yeah 'youre shaun's girl' and i was like no not really (hes hanging out with another girl right now and thats not me and hes not my boy so no-i thought that but i didnt say it) and they were like yeah you were. we saw you in his bed right? and i was like yeah. and i was surprised jj knew my name. that was cool i guess. but i dont know.
and then i fell asleep and was apparently dead. so i slept in neeras bed. and darcie and neera went to my dorm to sleep because julie went home for the weekend. and yeah. i dont think shaun came home last night. or maybe im just stupid. i dont know. i like him and im stupid for doing it. youre not supposed to hook up with a guy once then develop attachment and then do it again. but i swear hes into me. damnit. im emotional right now. i cant let it on though. oh well.
then today we took the bus to kmart and home depot and got stuff for christian. because hes going to make us some very fine paintings. and when i walked into neeras room neera called me a skank and laurie called my shirt scandalous. my fcuk pink halter. which really isnt and then john sexy was there when i went back and he was like whoa krissy with a k. and then he held up his hand in front of his face kinda so he could look into my eyes he said. hes a funny kid. makes me laugh.
anyways the shopping went alright. the water was crazy heavy and christian better appreciate that. otherwise i dont know. and i got some other stuff. liquid ice. that was sweet. i dont know. dude. now were in neeras room. i dont know. im stupid. i want to go skateboarding. i think we might have a dance party tonight. there also might be a rice party. i dont know. and seriously everyone is looking at my chest in this shirt. but its not even that bad. and im wearing my white swapmeet shirt over it. dude. im stupid. and i even talked to him. but i didnt ask the right questions or something. damn. i dont just want to be a hookup. im not just a hookup. shitty.
anyways so i spend the night. and its weird. he was even like this is weird. and i was like no shit. i dont do this. i dont know what im doing. but whatever. it gets better. and so yeah. his roommate steve is gone. and so we have sex again. and this time i give him head. i told him beforehand that i sucked at doing it and i use my teeth and that im just bad. because i am and i just get a gag reflex. oh well. i did. and he said i was the best. except that was for sure a lie. even though i did it like three times. gross. and he ate me out. and he was good at that. i hate talking about this. not hate. i feel weird putting it in my journal. but its like a journal so i can look back i guess.
anyways so yeah. we go to bed. and hes so loud. i told him he was really loud and he said its cause hes congested. but no. maybe not. and so i go to sleep. and i wake up and have to pee. so i take one of shauns sweatshirts and go upstairs and go. and then at like five steve comes back. and im like oh. and hes like you should probably leave, this is why i sleep in the lounge almost every night. and i first i thought he meant because shaun had girls over all the time. then i realized it was because he was so loud. and i was like oh. and then he got naked. and i was like oh god. and then i went with him to sleep in the lounge. and i took shauns blanket. and then steve had his. so he was naked but had the blanket but i still saw more than i wanted to. so we slept on the couches.
then i woke up at like 8 so i went back to the room. and shaun was gone. then he came back from the bathroom. and i was like hey. and i dont know. we had sex again. and it was nice. and just cute the way he is. and then we were just lying in his bed. and ive never done that before with someone. just lied in bed together. naked. its really nice. and comfortable. then steve came back. and we were all trying to sleep. and shaun is still loud even when he just drifts into sleep. and guys kept just walking in because i unlocked the door so when i went to the bathroom i could get back in.
the daniel kid came in and he was making fun of me the night before. and then he saw me in the bed and he just gave me this huge smile. and i think he came back like five times the rest of the morning. and jj came by and was like whoa. and like three other kids. they all just came in and were like oh hey. and then this one boy khyle i think came in and saw me (i was in my tinkerbell blanket cause i was about to get down) he opened the door and closed it right away because he was embarassed. it was cute. then i left at 1043 and i had class at 11. crazy speed walking.
did the whole class thing. then got ryan to take me darcie and andrea surfing. and it was so fun. and i didnt really catch any waves but it was cool still. and we took a picture. then we hung out and stuff. i dont remember. then chris took me darcie and tina night surfing. that was pretty sweet. and i talked with shaun. for like a second. and then it was soo fun. the night surfing thing. chris made fun of us for getting pummeled by waves which he claimed were like a foot and a half. i think they were more like 3. haha. so we go back. and we shower.
and then shaun and i think khyle come to the room and wonder what were doing and stuff. and we dont know and he doesnt know what theyre doing. and he doesnt really know anybody else so he was coming to see me which was nice. but nothing happened. and then darcie and tina went out to go see tinas friend. me and catty were tired (james is stupid) so we stayed in and got remember the titans. i went and got it and there was a crazy crowd downstairs. and i saw shaun. and he was talking with this really pretty blond girl and i am stupid so i just weaved by. and then i came back and walked away and then three guys were following behind me. and it was jj daniel and khyle. and they were like oh yeah 'youre shaun's girl' and i was like no not really (hes hanging out with another girl right now and thats not me and hes not my boy so no-i thought that but i didnt say it) and they were like yeah you were. we saw you in his bed right? and i was like yeah. and i was surprised jj knew my name. that was cool i guess. but i dont know.
and then i fell asleep and was apparently dead. so i slept in neeras bed. and darcie and neera went to my dorm to sleep because julie went home for the weekend. and yeah. i dont think shaun came home last night. or maybe im just stupid. i dont know. i like him and im stupid for doing it. youre not supposed to hook up with a guy once then develop attachment and then do it again. but i swear hes into me. damnit. im emotional right now. i cant let it on though. oh well.
then today we took the bus to kmart and home depot and got stuff for christian. because hes going to make us some very fine paintings. and when i walked into neeras room neera called me a skank and laurie called my shirt scandalous. my fcuk pink halter. which really isnt and then john sexy was there when i went back and he was like whoa krissy with a k. and then he held up his hand in front of his face kinda so he could look into my eyes he said. hes a funny kid. makes me laugh.
anyways the shopping went alright. the water was crazy heavy and christian better appreciate that. otherwise i dont know. and i got some other stuff. liquid ice. that was sweet. i dont know. dude. now were in neeras room. i dont know. im stupid. i want to go skateboarding. i think we might have a dance party tonight. there also might be a rice party. i dont know. and seriously everyone is looking at my chest in this shirt. but its not even that bad. and im wearing my white swapmeet shirt over it. dude. im stupid. and i even talked to him. but i didnt ask the right questions or something. damn. i dont just want to be a hookup. im not just a hookup. shitty.