<3 Daddys little girl
aahh. I love my dad. I espescially love his heartwarming emails that go a little something like this...
(I sumed it up pretty well I think.)
Dear Kiddies (exclusion of George J. Copoulos implied),
Be well aware that my life is too busy to deal with your petty and paltry issues. Deal with it. You should most likely hire a financial planner to take this on. Perhaps Marie can drive the Taurus, Julie can hitchhike after the Escort gives out, and Mark can ride his bike fueled on power bars, to a compromising meeting place, perhaps New Orleans. I hear the Astrodome is taking in refugees, I assume will be able to bring cots of your own.
My job has relocated. Turns out karma is a real bitch after all. I have prepared the following plans to lessen my burdens:
1) I suggest that you invest in turbo tax or similar software. Turbo tax will solve all your problems. Well, unless you're Mark, and you are too busy drinking your pain away in 'Mehican beer'.
2) Marie and Mark, since I don't have custody of you, I don't have to fill out the FAFSA forms! Thank God, eh? Julie, Fuck you for applying to private schools. I'm taking away your cell phone in protest.
3) By the way, I'm a top two finalist! Not just at UCONN, but in life. Basically because I am the most amazing and selfless person to ever live. Last weekend I tried to walk on water, unfortunately, it didn't work out for me. Because of this blow to my ego, the following will take place:
'Dear' Mark
Remember when I used to tease you when you were a child and offer you a 'bed of lettuce' for dinner? Haha. Well, turns out with inflation, lettuce is a little to expensive these days! You should probably cut out all of the luxuries in your fiscal spending, i.e., trips to Mehico, clothing, food...you know, things that are causing your finances to run 'dry'. If not, I will be forced to stop sending you 3 pesos a week.
'Dear' Marie
How's the credit spending? In the hole again, eh? Well, I will use this as an opportunity to humiliate you, seeing you are smart, and I have nothing left to threaten you with.
'Dear' Julie
Still considering applying to private institutions? I'm calling Cingular.
Love you! Miss you! Don't forget to email me! (If you do forget to write, I will just call repeatedly and leave harassing messages on your voicemail, well, except for Julie. Haha. Because she won't have a phone).
Love,
Daddio
(I sumed it up pretty well I think.)
Dear Kiddies (exclusion of George J. Copoulos implied),
Be well aware that my life is too busy to deal with your petty and paltry issues. Deal with it. You should most likely hire a financial planner to take this on. Perhaps Marie can drive the Taurus, Julie can hitchhike after the Escort gives out, and Mark can ride his bike fueled on power bars, to a compromising meeting place, perhaps New Orleans. I hear the Astrodome is taking in refugees, I assume will be able to bring cots of your own.
My job has relocated. Turns out karma is a real bitch after all. I have prepared the following plans to lessen my burdens:
1) I suggest that you invest in turbo tax or similar software. Turbo tax will solve all your problems. Well, unless you're Mark, and you are too busy drinking your pain away in 'Mehican beer'.
2) Marie and Mark, since I don't have custody of you, I don't have to fill out the FAFSA forms! Thank God, eh? Julie, Fuck you for applying to private schools. I'm taking away your cell phone in protest.
3) By the way, I'm a top two finalist! Not just at UCONN, but in life. Basically because I am the most amazing and selfless person to ever live. Last weekend I tried to walk on water, unfortunately, it didn't work out for me. Because of this blow to my ego, the following will take place:
'Dear' Mark
Remember when I used to tease you when you were a child and offer you a 'bed of lettuce' for dinner? Haha. Well, turns out with inflation, lettuce is a little to expensive these days! You should probably cut out all of the luxuries in your fiscal spending, i.e., trips to Mehico, clothing, food...you know, things that are causing your finances to run 'dry'. If not, I will be forced to stop sending you 3 pesos a week.
'Dear' Marie
How's the credit spending? In the hole again, eh? Well, I will use this as an opportunity to humiliate you, seeing you are smart, and I have nothing left to threaten you with.
'Dear' Julie
Still considering applying to private institutions? I'm calling Cingular.
Love you! Miss you! Don't forget to email me! (If you do forget to write, I will just call repeatedly and leave harassing messages on your voicemail, well, except for Julie. Haha. Because she won't have a phone).
Love,
Daddio