am i a loser?
i just got an email from a friend of mine from college. apparently, she just got a really great job offer making like truckloads of money (more than I ever would working for PETA, to say nothing of the academie de lille) and she will be living in dc. i'm not sure when she's moving there, but sometime within the month, i think. meanwhile, I will be working in lille and still living like a student -- free of responsibilities, in europe, and not at all posh. i have to admit that it made me jealous. i am happy for her and i know that making money and being so successful is very important to her, which is why she worked hard to make it happen. what's important to me? living in europe? perfecting my french? am i wasting my time at 22? should i be more serious about my life?
these are all rhetorical questions, of course. there isn't a right or wrong answer--at least i don't think there is. i'm not sure what i want at this point in my life, which is why having another year of doing little is helpful. i hope that being in lille will give me the option to stay in france or britain indefinitely. when i weighed vriginia vs lille, that was one of the things that mattered most -- the quality of life in a particular city. i do want my children to be raised in europe (if i have any children that is) and i don't really want to remain in the united states too much longer, with all the weirdness that is happeninig politically and socially. so maybe i made the right decision. i don't mean to sound like am oron. but as tony robbins says, i need to figure out what I really want out of life and get it. i shouldn't get seduced by money or what others get that may be appealing to me, too. i must remember that to get those things, i may sacrifice somethign that i value more, and thus actually cause myself pain.
most of all, i just hope i'm not a loser or makign the wrong decisions. my goal is to have no regrets. so far, i don't.
tomorrow, mum and i are going for a three day mini break to mccall. but I should have reliable internet up there.
adieu xx
these are all rhetorical questions, of course. there isn't a right or wrong answer--at least i don't think there is. i'm not sure what i want at this point in my life, which is why having another year of doing little is helpful. i hope that being in lille will give me the option to stay in france or britain indefinitely. when i weighed vriginia vs lille, that was one of the things that mattered most -- the quality of life in a particular city. i do want my children to be raised in europe (if i have any children that is) and i don't really want to remain in the united states too much longer, with all the weirdness that is happeninig politically and socially. so maybe i made the right decision. i don't mean to sound like am oron. but as tony robbins says, i need to figure out what I really want out of life and get it. i shouldn't get seduced by money or what others get that may be appealing to me, too. i must remember that to get those things, i may sacrifice somethign that i value more, and thus actually cause myself pain.
most of all, i just hope i'm not a loser or makign the wrong decisions. my goal is to have no regrets. so far, i don't.
tomorrow, mum and i are going for a three day mini break to mccall. but I should have reliable internet up there.
adieu xx