(no subject)
On account of my over-analytical mind and my ability to isolate myself to endure myself with such thinking activities, I've come to the conclusion that I have been robbing myself for the past few years of having any real female friends. I mean, sure there are those few select girls that I have let my guard down with, but I have never let myself become open enough to have a solid friendship with the exception of Kristen. I watch many girls around me giiggling and having mindless chit-chat while I usually observe, never really making any attempt to join. I conserve my thoughts and although may claim to have a distaste for my own gender, the distaste in all it's perceptibility is jealousy. I know so many beautiful, talented, and charismatic young ladies and instead of filling my life with the joy of their presence, I erase any oppurtunity to a real friendship because of my own insecurities. I regret my bad judgment greatly. With this thought in mind, if you were or are a fellow girl hater, think of why you have hatred for the girls you hate. Chances are there is something they have that you don't and your bantering is the reflection of such jealousy. Atleast that is the realization I have come to. As far as the girls I had a distaste for due to numerous reasons, I don't hold any form of hatred. I have remorse for them. Hopefully one day they will be graced with good decision making skills and self respect.
I hope to come oh so close to the existing female friends I have and open myself up the beautiful ones that stroll into my life; appreciate and accept the array of characteristics this giant of a world has to offer.