(no subject)
life is stagnant and im really starting to get ansy. ive never been less content with a lifestyle in my entire life. i dont know what it is.... i guess its just my personality, but why is everything in life so fucking hard. i work hard at everything i do and it seems like i dont benefit at all. seriously. i've been having crazy mood swings, what with going back and everything... and people definitely not making anything easier. especially people who are supposed to be my friends. i understand not wanting to put up with any bull shit, especially from a 17 year old, but noone is happy all the time. whats good about that. i'm learning very fast who my real friends are; who i can and cannot count on... it sucks. i wish as many people had my back and were there for me as put on the front that they are. when times get tough, drop the 17 year old. i dont think so. i wasn't aware that's how this game was played. if you're real be fucking real to me. PLEASE. i'll be at elaina's this weekend if anyone wants to hang out. 2 steps away from everywhere. i'm making an honest effort to be a happier person. friends really make me happy. not "friends" but the real deal. it's tough. if you're my friend you know in a completely not self-pity sort of way, i have hard time. and when they're hard, they're really fucking hard. why can't the banana just peel itself.