O M G.
I seriously can't believe the long weekend's here already! =/ Seriously, I really don't know where the past few months have gone by! School's right around the corner and somehow, I still feel like I've got so much to do. This is my 2nd last night before moving out to St. Catharines and I'm hella excited but nervous at the same too. I'm so up for the challenges that this teaching program @ BrockU has in store for me but at the same time, knowing the perfectionist that I am, everything needs to be done right, so I'm not sure how all of this is gonna go. I can only hope that I do my best and don't hold back from the potential that I so know I'm capable of.
It's a bittersweet beginning...on the one hand, it's such an amazing opportunity because I know the competition for teachers' programs are fierce and a lot of people end up in Buffalo, paying a lot more than they should just to make their ambitions happen. I'm really grateful that I was blessed enough to get into 4 out of the 7 that I applied for in Ontario and one of them was BrockU, which apparently has one of the best teaching programs in the province. I'm thankful to know that all of my hard work over the past few years has really paid off and that this year is what I've been working towards since 12th grade, and it's all finally happening...on the other hand, it's just a bit nerve wracking how it's all just coming up a lot faster than I ever could have anticipated. It's all really not helping that I'm such a perfectionist sometimes and I find myself catching onto my mom's horrible habit of overworrying about forgetting things =/
I'm sure everything'll be okay after next week...after I've eased into everything, settled down into my new room, familiarize myself with the campus (thank goodness all my classes are in one building lol), get to know the area better, etc. Sometimes, I feel like I'm gonna throw up though because I feel so overwhelmed thinking about the things that need to be done like the stuff I have to look over before the orientation sessions on Tuesday & Wednesday (good thing I have Reading Days on Thursday & Friday), buying my textbooks for the 2nd week of school, making sure I really know my stuff, etc. I seriously don't want this year to be like last year where I let personal issues keep me from the things that I wanted to accomplish and I let it hold me back so many times from showing my academic potential. It's just so weird because last year was one of those years where I didn't let myself shine academically like I know I can - after all, I wouldn't have gotten past academic scholarships if I really didn't have it in me. Last school year was just such a weird year where so many things just took a different course and it seemed like it all had a mind of its own.
I've made a promise to myself that this year is gonna be different. I'm really gonna smarten up. I'm gonna stay focused and know my priorities this time around. I've really gotta limit these constant outings, which although are hella fun, need to be cut back to make room for things that matter a bit more. I'm also not willing to put up with any kind of potential guy drama or any other drama period, anymore. I've learned to know when to walk away and not look back, and it's done wonders for me in the past few months. Anything or anyone not worth my time is gonna continue to be chucked out the window.
I'm gonna be a bit selfish and focus on myself a bit more now because I think I really need to do that in order to really succeed. I really wanna make an effort to do better this year - academically and personally. I don't just want to meet the goals that I set for myself, it's not enough for me anymore - I really want to exceed them. I really wanna know that everything I've worked for isn't just gonna go to waste. I guess only time will tell whether this drive for success is really gonna get me as far as I want. No matter what happens, I'm just grateful to know that those who matter to me are gonna be right by my side supporting me, as I step into this next chapter of my life. It's still kind of unwritten in a sense as the saying goes, but I have to admit, overall, I kind of can't wait to find out what happens next...