Pondering.
I've been thinking a lot lately about death. Not in a suicidal way, but exactly the opposite. I'm scared. I'm scared to die. I'm scared to leave my family and friends. I'm scared for them to leave me. I worry about riding in cars, being at work, even going to sleep sometimes. Because you just never know. That scares me. I think it probably scares everyone to some extent, even people who say they aren't afraid to die.
We had company last night, and I mentioned it. Allen's cousin said that he was scared too, but that as long as he saw his daughters grow up and be successful, he couldn't ask for more. I realized that I take a lot for granted. I take living for granted. I take seeing my daughter smile for granted. I take for granted the small things that Allen does to make me smile and make my life easier on a daily basis.
I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to take it for granted. I want to smell the roses, I want to eat the chocolate, I want to tickle my daughter and teach her her ABC's. I want to make love to my husband, and go on vacations. I want to have another baby and be a better mother and wife. I want to bake cakes that make people feel like the most special person on earth at that moment. I want to learn to make gourmet food, and read more books. I want to make memories and preserve memories for the people who will live on after me. I want to live a life that is worth remembering.
We had company last night, and I mentioned it. Allen's cousin said that he was scared too, but that as long as he saw his daughters grow up and be successful, he couldn't ask for more. I realized that I take a lot for granted. I take living for granted. I take seeing my daughter smile for granted. I take for granted the small things that Allen does to make me smile and make my life easier on a daily basis.
I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to take it for granted. I want to smell the roses, I want to eat the chocolate, I want to tickle my daughter and teach her her ABC's. I want to make love to my husband, and go on vacations. I want to have another baby and be a better mother and wife. I want to bake cakes that make people feel like the most special person on earth at that moment. I want to learn to make gourmet food, and read more books. I want to make memories and preserve memories for the people who will live on after me. I want to live a life that is worth remembering.