Who Am I? The naming of things.
What's in a name?
"Fannie Lou" was a wee thing, a bright eyed child with an infinite capacity for questioning, a bottomless clamoring for reading material, and an abiding love for animals, plants, and insects. Dirty hands and pockets full of treasure, constantly mistaken for a lad and not a lass; this was a thing of tiny, precocious beauty.
"Frances Hernandez" was a bitterly angry, haughty young woman, carrying a chip on her shoulder of Sissyphian proportions, and doggedly determined to be the best at everything. Even if everything included being the worst teenager on the planet. Drugs and Sex and sneaking out to dance all night long, and then school in the morning, no matter what the cost, no matter how long she'd been out of the house, always school in the morning. It's how her parents knew she was still alive when she ran away for days or weeks. A call to the principal's office and all was "well"- their daughter was in class, raking in the A's.
"Betty" was a 16 year old who stripped off her clothes in a smoky club, convinced it would be an easy road to self sufficiency after she moved out of her parent's home. She rode her motorcycle to the club, worked a shift, then left, disgusted; tossing her thong in the trash and vowing never to return.
"Francisca/Panchita" was 17, an expat in Mexico, learning Spanish and silversmithing. Quaffing tequila and snorting cocaine by night, crafting meticulous pieces of treasure by day. She hitchhiked to the beach, was careless with men's hearts, and was free to own the world. She quit shaving her legs and modeled for artists to pay the incredibly modest bills. All her possessions lived in a foot locker, and she could do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted to.
"Lila" was a very occasional exotic dancer who "made it rain," casually exploiting the taut, good looks of youth and the intelligence to know better than to make it a habit... thus funding the more wholesome adventures of these more visibly wholesome selves.
"Francesca Louise" was a wanderer. Rode her motorcycle alone across the country, fell in love and moved to London, overstayed her visa and crossed the pond back to New York City. Spent the better part of the early 20s traveling, laughing loudly, working halfheartedly at her silversmithing craft and slowly cultivating an idea of who she wanted to be when she grew up.
"Mistress Leda" was a dominatrix who paid the bills and made it possible to live in NYC while constantly leaving NYC for more exotic and exciting locales. Her sense of humor kept her soul intact during this most lurid chapter. She made friends, some lifelong, some life changing, within the walls of that dungeon. She developed flawless spanking/flogging/knot tying techniques, and most importantly, good boundaries.
"Francesca You Betcha" is a landscape architect. A farmer. A lesbian. A massage therapist with 16 years of mileage on her hands. But the crown jewel of this gal's life is the the farm & school that she is building, and the community that has rallied to make it possible for this one woman operation to thrive. FYB is a grower of things. A raiser of animals. A sometimes veterinarian, a mechanic and builder. An easy to smiler. A possessor of great patience and profound capacity for forgiveness. Owner of one very small mirror. A bright eyed youngish woman with an infinite capacity for questioning, a bottomless clamoring for reading material, and an abiding love for animals, plants, and insects. Dirty hands and pockets full of treasure....but rarely mistaken for a lad.
We all eventually return to who we are.
"Fannie Lou" was a wee thing, a bright eyed child with an infinite capacity for questioning, a bottomless clamoring for reading material, and an abiding love for animals, plants, and insects. Dirty hands and pockets full of treasure, constantly mistaken for a lad and not a lass; this was a thing of tiny, precocious beauty.
"Frances Hernandez" was a bitterly angry, haughty young woman, carrying a chip on her shoulder of Sissyphian proportions, and doggedly determined to be the best at everything. Even if everything included being the worst teenager on the planet. Drugs and Sex and sneaking out to dance all night long, and then school in the morning, no matter what the cost, no matter how long she'd been out of the house, always school in the morning. It's how her parents knew she was still alive when she ran away for days or weeks. A call to the principal's office and all was "well"- their daughter was in class, raking in the A's.
"Betty" was a 16 year old who stripped off her clothes in a smoky club, convinced it would be an easy road to self sufficiency after she moved out of her parent's home. She rode her motorcycle to the club, worked a shift, then left, disgusted; tossing her thong in the trash and vowing never to return.
"Francisca/Panchita" was 17, an expat in Mexico, learning Spanish and silversmithing. Quaffing tequila and snorting cocaine by night, crafting meticulous pieces of treasure by day. She hitchhiked to the beach, was careless with men's hearts, and was free to own the world. She quit shaving her legs and modeled for artists to pay the incredibly modest bills. All her possessions lived in a foot locker, and she could do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted to.
"Lila" was a very occasional exotic dancer who "made it rain," casually exploiting the taut, good looks of youth and the intelligence to know better than to make it a habit... thus funding the more wholesome adventures of these more visibly wholesome selves.
"Francesca Louise" was a wanderer. Rode her motorcycle alone across the country, fell in love and moved to London, overstayed her visa and crossed the pond back to New York City. Spent the better part of the early 20s traveling, laughing loudly, working halfheartedly at her silversmithing craft and slowly cultivating an idea of who she wanted to be when she grew up.
"Mistress Leda" was a dominatrix who paid the bills and made it possible to live in NYC while constantly leaving NYC for more exotic and exciting locales. Her sense of humor kept her soul intact during this most lurid chapter. She made friends, some lifelong, some life changing, within the walls of that dungeon. She developed flawless spanking/flogging/knot tying techniques, and most importantly, good boundaries.
"Francesca You Betcha" is a landscape architect. A farmer. A lesbian. A massage therapist with 16 years of mileage on her hands. But the crown jewel of this gal's life is the the farm & school that she is building, and the community that has rallied to make it possible for this one woman operation to thrive. FYB is a grower of things. A raiser of animals. A sometimes veterinarian, a mechanic and builder. An easy to smiler. A possessor of great patience and profound capacity for forgiveness. Owner of one very small mirror. A bright eyed youngish woman with an infinite capacity for questioning, a bottomless clamoring for reading material, and an abiding love for animals, plants, and insects. Dirty hands and pockets full of treasure....but rarely mistaken for a lad.
We all eventually return to who we are.