insomniatic rant attack
you never quite get there; you search, work, study, read,create,thinkindulgeabsorbanalyze....breath...and there it is. the tip of the iceberg. and it's the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, down by 1. so all you can do is step up to the plate, ignore the bottom of the iceberg, and dig in. relax. then the vicious cycle rears its ugly head--one icebergs melts while another is re-freezing and you gotta deal with it all over again. going insane. there are no little lifeboats (not even this unofficially depressing drinking thing)--even if there were, they'd all have holes in the bottom, so it's just an illusion of safety. delusional, temporary complacency. clearly, i need to get some sleep.