attention humans of the world
the following should be requirements for being alive...especially if you happen to find yourself on the university of illinois campus...
1. do not walk in the bike path. anything that happens to you while you walk on/across the bike path you deserve fully.
2. do not sit in the very end seat of an entirely empty row in lecture hall. go to the middle. unless of course you think people enjoy hauling their shit over your feet, knees, and bookbag that are taking up the entire space in between the seat and the chair in front. in which case, you are exceptionally dumb and should probably be sterilized.
3. do not listen to your ipod so loudly that i can hear the lyrics of the song. it's simply irritating. especially in the middle of class. any and all hearing loss damages that will ensue in later life are, again, fully deserved. and you probably have really bad taste in music anyway.
4. do not expect fabulous service if you act like the queen of all bitches to your waitress.
5. and one very serious rule: do not burn any bridges. don't be so horrible or rude or even just cold to someone for no good reason. it will probably come back to bite you in the butt. and even if it doesn't, there's no reason to be mean to someone. i hate it when people are mean.
yeah that's about it. anyone want to add any rules for being alive?
1. do not walk in the bike path. anything that happens to you while you walk on/across the bike path you deserve fully.
2. do not sit in the very end seat of an entirely empty row in lecture hall. go to the middle. unless of course you think people enjoy hauling their shit over your feet, knees, and bookbag that are taking up the entire space in between the seat and the chair in front. in which case, you are exceptionally dumb and should probably be sterilized.
3. do not listen to your ipod so loudly that i can hear the lyrics of the song. it's simply irritating. especially in the middle of class. any and all hearing loss damages that will ensue in later life are, again, fully deserved. and you probably have really bad taste in music anyway.
4. do not expect fabulous service if you act like the queen of all bitches to your waitress.
5. and one very serious rule: do not burn any bridges. don't be so horrible or rude or even just cold to someone for no good reason. it will probably come back to bite you in the butt. and even if it doesn't, there's no reason to be mean to someone. i hate it when people are mean.
yeah that's about it. anyone want to add any rules for being alive?