Scyla: A Totally Factual, True-To-The-Myths, Srs Biznus Account.
Scylla is one of the daughters of Phorbas, the Old Man of the Sea. She began young, and happy, very fond of swimming and well-loved by the naiads. She was pursued by many suitors, whom she scorned, and often complained or laughed about them with Galatea, who she was totally platonic with.
Really.
Hahaha.
It was her grave misfortune, whilst swimming, to be spied by Glaucus, a fisherman-turned-sea-god, who fell in love with her. She went “Hell, no” and rejected him, and he decided to do the gentlemanly thing and find an enchantress to make Scylla love him, thus proving the girl’s wonderful taste in Men She Will Not Date. Naturally, Circe fell in love with Glaucus (who knew sea green was such an irresistible colour?) and decided to take her frustration on Scylla by turning her into a sea monster.
While Scylla was bathing in her favourite lake, Circe poured in her herbs 'n' things (I'm telling you, herbs will kill you) that turned Scylla lower body into- well, something with writhing serpentine tail(s), and six dogs’ heads. Change of form brought change of temper, and she became angry, cruel, and very hungry, and delighted in eating sailors alive who ventured too close to her cavern.
Mm, comfort food.
She didn’t actually care who she ate as long as she got to take out her anger at Circe and the world in general by chomping people’s heads off, but she did gulp down a fair few heroes. And, well, the thing about heroes is that sometimes you come up against a heartier breed, and Hercules was one of those. He killed her. And I’m sure there was great rejoicing all around, etc.
That is not the end of the story, get your butts back in those seats.
Because dear ole daddy burned her body and brought her back to LIFE, this time in her previous, human-like form, except for when she’s in the water. When in the water, she resumes her monstrous shape. Which sucks, really, because she loves the water.
Sucks for you, I mean.
Try not to get eaten.
Cause if you stray too close to her cave, you may become dinner.
Really.
Hahaha.
It was her grave misfortune, whilst swimming, to be spied by Glaucus, a fisherman-turned-sea-god, who fell in love with her. She went “Hell, no” and rejected him, and he decided to do the gentlemanly thing and find an enchantress to make Scylla love him, thus proving the girl’s wonderful taste in Men She Will Not Date. Naturally, Circe fell in love with Glaucus (who knew sea green was such an irresistible colour?) and decided to take her frustration on Scylla by turning her into a sea monster.
While Scylla was bathing in her favourite lake, Circe poured in her herbs 'n' things (I'm telling you, herbs will kill you) that turned Scylla lower body into- well, something with writhing serpentine tail(s), and six dogs’ heads. Change of form brought change of temper, and she became angry, cruel, and very hungry, and delighted in eating sailors alive who ventured too close to her cavern.
Mm, comfort food.
She didn’t actually care who she ate as long as she got to take out her anger at Circe and the world in general by chomping people’s heads off, but she did gulp down a fair few heroes. And, well, the thing about heroes is that sometimes you come up against a heartier breed, and Hercules was one of those. He killed her. And I’m sure there was great rejoicing all around, etc.
That is not the end of the story, get your butts back in those seats.
Because dear ole daddy burned her body and brought her back to LIFE, this time in her previous, human-like form, except for when she’s in the water. When in the water, she resumes her monstrous shape. Which sucks, really, because she loves the water.
Sucks for you, I mean.
Try not to get eaten.
Cause if you stray too close to her cave, you may become dinner.