Sleepless Nights (6/?)

[mlss_he]

Title: Sleepless Nights (6/?)
Pairing(s): KyuMin
Genre: Angst, Romance, Humor (I think? xD)
Warning(s): swearing, epic failure
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,058
Summary: Something's changed about Sungmin, and Kyuhyun loses sleep trying to find out why. (Lolol, ANOTHER bad summary~ xD)

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Sungmin cried out, shooting up and out of his bed, and ran to the woman's room. Pushing the door open, he jumped on to her bed, trembling. He had the same dream again; he was watching someone beat a boy younger than him, and no matter what he did, he couldn't stop the person, and he had to watch the boy die over and over again. The woman woke up and saw him shaking next to her. She pulled her blanket over him, and gently embraced him.

"What's the matter?" she asked, "Did you have that dream again?"

Sungmin nodded furiously in reply, and started to cry. The woman felt bad for him. It was the 5th time he had that dream this week. She felt bad that she couldn't help him, since he couldn't talk, and it meant that for the time being, he was stuck with this problem.

She tried asking him about it again. "What happened in the dream?"

Sungmin shook his head, showing her that he still couldn't speak yet.

"Try Sungmin. Just try. You'll never know unless you do."

Sungmin took a deep breath. When he attempted to make a sound, all that came out was a squeak. He groaned in frustration, and the woman cuddled him.

"Keep trying, Sungmin. You need to believe in yourself. It just might be the thing you need to speak again."

Taking in her suggestion, Sungmin tried to "believe" in himself, telling himself that he had to do it for the woman, for himself, so he could find out what the dreams meant, and for some odd reason, he felt that the dreams were somehow connected to his forgotten past.

He closed his eyes and tried his best to make a sound, and an "Ah...," was all he could make out. He opened his eyes and blinked, feeling confusion because he unbelievably made a sound. He tried again. Please work this time...

"Ah... Ah... Ack!" he started to cough, and the woman rubbed his back.

"Don't push yourself too hard. You can always try another time," she offered.

Sungmin shook his head. There won't be a next time if I stop now.

He took another deep breath, and repeated. "Ah... Ah. Ah. ...," he paused. Then he started again, "Ah. Ah. Ah? Ah!" Sungmin cried out in excitement. He continued to flail around in the bed in happiness. "Ah! Ah!"

Although it sounded raspy and sore, a voice was a voice, and this, they couldn't deny.

The woman petted him on the head. "See? All you had to do was try."

Sungmin nodded, grinning at her thankfully.

"Well, since you can make sounds now, let's see if you can say a sentence. Hmm... What would be a good sentence?" she wondered. "Oh! I got it. Why don't you try saying, 'I am Sungmin'?" she suggested.

Sungmin nodded again, and opened his mouth, "Ah. Ahhhhh. Aaaaiiii. Aaiii... I. I aaahmmmm. I aahmm. I ahm. I am. I am!" Sungmin was overjoyed. Even though he wasn't finished with his sentence, he felt ecstatic to know that he was finally able to speak again. He continued, "I am... Saaanng-miiiiiin. I am Saangmiiin. I. Am. S-S-Sung... m-min? I am... Sungmin...," he gasped, and the woman was in shock as well.

"I am Sungmin. I am Sungmin! I'm Sungmin!" he squealed with delight. The woman chuckled at his shouts of delight. If someone else heard him yelling like this, they would've thought he was insane. But she knew that was perfectly not the case here.

"I am Sungmin!" he yelled out again, "And I can talk!"

The woman spoke up, "Yes, you are, and yes, you can," she smiled. "Sungmin..."

"Hmm?"

"Do you think you can tell me about the dreams you've been having now? It's alright if you don't feel ready. I'll understand."

Sungmin shook his head. "No. I'm ready. I'll tell you."

"Good. Well, you can start whenever."

"Ok. Um. Well, it always starts with someone calling my name, and when I turn around, I see a boy, and I think he's younger than me, and he's running to me," Sungmin started. The woman nodded in retailiation, and he continued.

"He grabs my shirt, and he's begging for me to help him. Then I see this lady, and she's walking towards us. Then the boy gets even more scared. I think he's scared of the lady."

"Do you know who that lady is?" the woman asked.

Sungmin shook his head. "No, but she seems really familiar to me, like I've met her before."

"Hmm. Go on."

"The lady grabs him, and she starts hitting him! Then the boy cries my name, and I don't know what to do, so I try to help him. I jump onto the lady, but she throws me off of her. When I try to get up again, I can't move, and I get very scared," then he stopped abruptly, and the woman became more worried.

"What's wrong?" she asked, "If this is too much for you, we can talk about this on another day."

"No, I'm ok," he replied. "It's just that the next part's the scariest part, so... yeah."

"Why is it the scary part?"

"Because... the woman keeps on hitting the little boy, and she won't stop, and, and..."

"And what?"

"And he just stops moving."

The woman gasped, and Sungmin went on.

"He died, and I just let him die. I didn't help him when he needed me."

"Sungmin, it's not your-"

"And I keep having these dreams! I'm always watching him die every time, and it's all my fault! He keeps dying because of me!" Sungmin was crying now. The woman was surprised at his sudden outburst.

"It's all my fault! It's all my fault, it's all my fault, it's all my fault...," he sobbed.

Tears started to well up in the woman's eyes. "Oh, Sungmin... Stop blaming yourself; you did the best you could, and that's that."

"No! No, I didn't! I wanted to move, but I just couldn't! No matter how hard I tried, I wouldn't move, and he died! He died because I wasn't there to save him, and, and-"

The woman cut him off with an embrace, holding tightly onto a now trembling Sungmin. He cried heavily onto her shoulder, shaking with sobs. They stayed in that position for a few minutes. Then she slowly released him, and looked him in the eyes. Sungmin was now silent, albeit with a tear-stained face.

"Sungmin...," the woman caressed his face, and he looked down at the bed, seemingly in shame.

"Why is this happening to me?" Sungmin whispered, "Who is that boy? And why do I always see him in my dreams? Why is he always dying?" He looked back up, and the woman could see tears streaming down his face again. She held his face, wiping away the tears with the back of her hand.

The woman's face held a solemn expression, "I'm sorry, but I don't know the answers to your questions. I know I said I would try to help you, but in this case, I don't think I can be of much assistance. But I do know, that you'll find the answer yourself. I'm not sure when, but it will happen eventually."

Sungmin felt a pang of confusion. "Wh-what? But, how? How will I find ou-"

"Don't worry. The fact that you've been having these dreams show that you somehow have a connection to them. I believe that you already know what these dreams mean, but the answer's been hidden deep inside your mind," she explained.

"B-but, why would I do that to myself?" he sniffed, an after-effect of crying.

"Maybe you were trying to protect yourself because the truth was too much for you to handle."

Not knowing what to say in response, Sungmin kept silent.

"Nothing can be kept a secret forever. The truth will be revealed eventually," the woman assured him, "But judging from the contents of your dream, it's best to leave that truth alone for now. You're probably not ready to cope with it. If you found out now, you might become mentally unstable; there must have been a good reason why you suppressed your memories."

Sungmin nodded, understanding her concern. He remained still, not getting off the bed, not going back to his room, nothing. Seeing this, the woman came up with an idea.

"Why don't you sleep here tonight? That way, you'll always have me by your side," she suggested.

Sungmin seemed genuinely surprised. "R-really? I can do that?"

The woman smiled at his question. "Of course. Why wouldn't I want you to sleep here? It won't bother me."

He smiled back, feeling pleased at her reply. After the amount of time they spent together, he was starting to enjoy her presence; he felt that she was starting to grow on him. Although he knew she wasn't his mother, he wished she was.

The woman turned her back to him, reaching towards something. He had no idea what it was; he couldn't see what she was grabbing for. She turned back around with some tissue in her hand, and she offered it to him. Sungmin replied with a puzzled look.

The woman chuckled at his confusion. "Here, you can use it to wipe the tears away from your face. It won't feel good to sleep with a wet face."

~
 Waking up, Sungmin felt refreshed after his good and long sleep. He was glad because it wasn't interrupted by the recurring dream again.

He turned to his left, expecting the woman to be next to him, but was surprised to see that there was only an empty space. Gazing about, he noticed that she wasn't even in the room. He got up and out of the bed, and opened the door. Quietly closing it, he tiptoed down the stairs to look for the woman.

Smelling the scent of food, he assumed she was in the kitchen, and decided to check there first. When he got there, he saw someone cooking, and recognizing their back, knew it was the woman. He shuffled over to her, and pulled on her sleeve. She jumped in response, shocked by the sudden touch.

"Oh! Sungmin, you scared me silly," she laughed softly, "Well, since you're already awake, you can wait for me inside the living room. I'll be out with breakfast in a few minutes."

Sungmin nodded, and headed back into said room. The woman watched his retreating figure admiringly. He seems to have accepted me now..., she thought, sighing in contentment.

Waiting patiently for the woman on the couch, Sungmin was wondering about what he was going to call the woman. He didn't have to worry about it before because he was mute, but he wasn't mute anymore, so he therefore had a new problem to worry about. However, the woman came in, holding some food, and he felt disappointed at his inability to come up with a way to refer to her.

Setting the food down on the table, the woman gave herself and Sungmin a plate. "Are you hungry?" she asked.

He was about to speak up, but his abrupt stomach grumbling answered her question.

She chuckled, "I guess so."

While they began to eat, Sungmin was still wondering about what to call the woman. She's not my mother, so I can't call her "mom", but I don't know what else to call her..., he thought, deep in concentration.

The woman noticed that he stopped eating, and seemed to be focused on something. She became a little worried. Is there something wrong with the food? Does he hate it? Is he feeling sick?, she panicked.

"Sungmin," she spoke up, putting him out of his trance, "What's wrong?"

"Hmm? N-nothing," he responded.

"Really? But you stopped eating... I-Is there something wrong with the food?" she stuttered, finding it difficult to ask the question.

"N-no, no! There's nothing wrong with the food! It's delicious!" he exclaimed.

Relief washed over the woman. "Oh, thank goodness. Had me really worried about my cooking. But, why aren't you eating? Are you feeling sick?"

"No, I feel fine. I was just trying to..."

"You were trying to do what?"

"I was t-trying to think of something to call you..."

"Call me? What do you mean?"

"I mean, uhm, I can't call you 'mom' because you're not my mother, so, uhm..."

"Ooh! So that's what you were doing."

Sungmin nodded, blushing in embarrassment. She must think I'm stupid or something, he thought pessimistically.

"Aww, you're so cute like this~," the woman pinched his cheeks, surprising him with the sudden movement.

"H-huh? W-what do mean? I'm not cute!" Sungmin flustered, feeling even more embarrassed.

"Yes, you are~ Kyah~ Such a cute child in my home, something every woman longs for~," the woman grinned, petting him on the head. Sungmin purred in satisfaction; he had grown to enjoy her petting.

Seeing his adorable response, the woman glomped him, overcome with motherly feelings. When she let go of him, she laughed when she saw his confused expression.

"You were just too cute," she explained, and chuckled when she saw him become even more flustered.

Not knowing what to do, Sungmin just pouted.

"Kyah!~ So cute again!~" the woman squealed, pinching his cheeks, "Well, I feel overjoyed that you think of me as a mother, but since you can't call me 'mom', you can call me 'Auntie'. That seems fine, right?"

Sungmin nodded in agreement, and the woman just smiled.

~
 It was exactly one year after Sungmin started living with his 'aunt', and they were having a party to celebrate their first anniversary. Sungmin was busy setting up the plates. He didn't really know what else to do besides that, and he felt ashamed about it. The woman was busy cleaning up the place and watching the food she was cooking so it wouldn't burn. When Sungmin was finished with the plates, he sat idly on the couch, feeling a bit awkward about the whole thing. Then the woman came in, seemingly done with all her tasks as well.

"Ah Sungmin, you set up the plates?" she asked happily, "Good job! And thanks for reducing my work!"

Sungmin smiled in response, pleased to be of help. He didn't like to feel useless, which was why he did as much as he could.

"I'm almost done with the food, so just wait a few more minutes, ok?" the woman turned around, heading back into the kitchen.

"Ok," he squeaked.

While waiting for the woman, Sungmin thought back to the time he had those recurring dreams. I haven't had those dreams in while, but when will I find out what they mean? It's been a year, but I haven't learned anything. Auntie said I would, but nothing's happened, he thought, a little disappointed. Will I ever find out what they mean? Sungmin felt discouraged. Maybe if I think a little harder. Just maybe, I'd find out who those people were. Auntie did say that I already knew the answer.

He concentrated on the dreams, trying to remember their contents. While focusing, he suddenly remembered his stay at the hospital. He remembered his aunt asking him about the things that happened before he ended up at the hospital, and remembered wincing in pain when he tried recalling the events prior to the hospital stay. Knowing the dreams were somehow connected to his past, Sungmin had a realization; the things that happened in the dreams, were the things that happened before he arrived at the hospital. But, I still don't know who those people are. Why was that boy crying out for me? How is he related to me? Sungmin groaned in frustration.

Creasing his forehead, he fought hard against the barriers his mind set up in an effort to prevent him from finding out the truth. And although they proved to be a formidable match, his mind was no match for its owner. Gaining entry into his memories, the sudden access proved to be too much for him to handle. A flurry of images spread throughout his mind. Sungmin loudly groaned in pain from the momentum of the impact.

Hearing a loud cry, the woman rushed back into the living room, forgetting about the food. "Sungmin! Are ok? What happened? Are you hurt?" The woman was greatly worried about him.

Not responding, Sungmin merely clutched his head in pain, too deep in focus. He saw remnants of the little boy, and the lady that was always hurting the boy.

He managed make out a few words, "Th-that boy... And that la-lady..."

The woman was puzzled. "What boy? What lady? Who are you talking abou-," interrupted by another one of his loud cries, the woman held Sungmin by the arms. "Sungmin! I'll go get help!"

She turned to look for a phone. Spotting a phone on a desk near a corner of the room, she left Sungmin's side to get it. But before she reached it, she heard something fall to the floor. Whirling around, she saw Sungmin lying unconsciously on the floor. Gasping, she quickly grabbed the phone started dialing for the hospital.

Someone picked up. "Hello, how may I he-"

The woman freaked out. "I need an ambulance! Quick! My uh, um, son, has fainted on the floor! Please, I need help!"

"Calm down, Miss. Medical assistance is on the way. It should arrive within five to ten minutes. For now, you should remain calm, and try not to do anything, for it may worsen the situation."

"Alright, I understand. Thank you so much for your help," the woman hung up.

Placing the phone back onto the desk, the woman ran back over to Sungmin and held him tightly. "Sungmin, please be ok!" I don't know what I'll do without you...

~
Bright lights pierced Sungmin's eyes after he opened them. He covered his eyes with his hand and curled into a ball, an attempt to shield himself from the blinding lights. The slight movement woke the woman, who was sleeping at his bedside.

Seeing that Sungmin was now awake, the woman felt anxious about speaking to him. "S-Sungmin?"

Hearing his name, Sungmin turned over to face the woman. "Auntie?"

The woman let a sigh of relief. She was glad his memories were still intact, unlike the first time she met him.

He analyzed the clean, white room that they were currently in. "What are we doing in here? What happened?"

The woman looked surprised. "You mean, you don't remember?"

Sungmin shook his head. "No. All I remember is...," he paused.

"All you remember is? What do you remember? Why did you pause?"

"I... I tried to remember what happened before I met you."

The woman gasped. "Sungmin! What did I tell you? The memories will come back to you gradually!"

"I know! But, I just had to find out! There was just this feeling, like if I didn't find out then, I would never remember. I would never know my past."

The woman sniffed, "You got me all worried over you. I thought I was going to lose you." She tightly embraced him.

"Auntie...," Sungmin was speechless. I didn't know she cared this much about me.

The woman released him. "Don't try something like this again, ok? My hair will turn white and my face will become all wrinkly from the worry."

Sungmin laughed and nodded, picturing an old version of the woman, "Ok, Auntie. I won't."

She petted him on the head, "Good."

After that, a small, awkward, silence filled up the room.

"Auntie?" Sungmin broke the silence, wanting to tell the woman about his discovery on his past.

"Hmm?" the woman answered.

"Did I say anything before I fainted?"

"Um... I think you mentioned a boy and a... Lady? Yeah, a lady."

"Oh..."

"Sungmin, you... You remember, don't you?"

"I'm sorry, Auntie! I know I was wrong! But I just had to know, and-"

"Sungmin, it's ok. Don't be afraid. I'm not angry at you."

"I-I know, Auntie. And y-yes, Auntie, I do remember. I remember everything, I think. And the dreams... I also know what they mean."

"You do? And the boy and the lady? You know who they are?"

"Yeah, they were... They were my f-f-fam... Family..."

The woman gasped, "You mean, the dreams were real? They really happened? You poor thing...," she pulled him into another comforting hug.

Sungmin nodded, "Y-yes, Auntie. They were my Umma and my brother, Sung... Sungjin. My Appa left us when I was very young, and my Umma became mean after that. She always hit and blamed Sungjin for making Appa leave."

"The things you must have gone through...," the woman murmured, tears falling out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She sniffed, and Sungmin noticed her crying silently.

Seeing her tears, Sungmin started to cry too, overwhelmed by the sad atmosphere. "A-Auntie, wh-why, why are you crying? Don't, don't cry!" he whined out in a small voice. "Don't cry... Don't cry! Please don't cry!"

"Oh... Sungmin, I made you cry!" the woman tried to wipe away her tears, and hugged Sungmin tighter. His crying slowed down into sniffing.

"Umma always hurt Sungjin, and I could never do anything. I would try to help, but she always threw me onto the floor, and I wouldn't be able to move anymore. Sungjin died because I let him. I let him disappear. It was my-"

Crying again, the woman interrupted him, "No! It's not your fault. You couldn't help it! Stop blaming yourself...," she sobbed out. "Wh-why do you keep blame yourself? You are just a little kid! You couldn't help it! Don't blame yourself anymore... Please..."

Sungmin cried along with her also, "Auntie, you're crying again... How do you know it wasn't my fault?"

"Sungmin, believe me. If you could have helped your brother, you would have. It's not your fault your mother was more stronger than you. Sungjin understands. He does."

"If only Appa didn't leave. Umma wouldn't have become mean. Sungjin would still be here. Why did he leave? Was it because he didn't like us anymore? Did he want a new family?"

"I don't know, Sungmin, but you have me now, and I'll understand you. I'll always love you, Sungmin."

Sungmin only cried harder against the woman's chest. "Auntie! Don't leave me too! I don't want you to leave! And I... I love you too!"

Letting go of him, she wiped away his tears. "Don't worry. I'll never leave you. Never."

~
Liar, Sungmin thought. You did leave me. You sided with my Appa, who left us; betrayed us.

Walking bitterly across the park, he felt lost. He didn't know what to do, since the person he loved the most broke her promise. He didn't want to worry about anything more. He wanted to let go of everything.

As Sungmin crossed the street, he didn't notice a car speeding towards his direction; he was too deep in thought. The sudden noises of a car honking at him made him look up. Who's makin- Oh. He saw a car coming at him at a very fast speed. He tried to move out of the way, but for some reason, his body seemed to be frozen. Oddly, he didn't feel any fear either. He was very calm. And ready to let go. So this is how I'm going to die.

Closing his eyes, Sungmin braced for the oncoming pain that was about to follow. He heard the car brake and screech across the road, but he didn't feel any pain. Huh? Where's the pai-

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?"

Sungmin opened his eyes and turned to look at the car. It was the driver.

"Are you stupid?" the driver got out the car, "I could've killed you! And I could've died mysel- ...," he paused, bewildered.

Sungmin didn't understand why the driver stopped talking. He wondered about what he should do. What's wrong with this guy? Should I run away?...

The driver stared at him, making him feel a little uncomfortable. "No way... Sungmin? Is that you?"

Sungmin was surprised. This person knew him? He squinted his eyes to get a better look at the driver. Then he gasped. "Eun-Eunhyuk?"
__________________________________________

A/N: I have not posted in FOREVER in a long time. I have done a very bad thing... D:
I know you guys must have forgotten about wait for the next chapter been waiting for such a long time. ;____;
Well, I haven't posted because I've been lazy overloaded with schoolwork (highschoolers, do you guys understand me? ><;), and blah blah blah, some more excuses that's why I haven't uploaded in a supar long time.
This time, I wrote twice the amount I usually do (which is around 2,000+) for a chapter as a bonus for the people who waited so long. D: I ish supar sorries everyone. ><; /gets hit with a rock
This is the last chapter so far about Sungmin and his past, and for now it shall be in the present.
Mini-spoiler~ (hehe): For those of you who really wanted to know about what happened to Kyuhyun, the next chapter is something awesome and great to look forward too~ :'D
Wish me luck on updating soon!~ ^w^

And silent readers~ don't be afraid to comment~ I welcome all comments (as long as they're nice please ^w^) at any time~ :]

Thanks for reading!~ :'D ♥

( Chapter 7 )