BSG Fic: 12 Days of Ficmas: Snippets in Time - Scar
Title: 12 Days of Ficmas (Day Twelve): Snippets in Time - Scar
Author: Monti
Date: November 2, 2008 (Original) December 24, 2009 (Revisited)
Rating: M
Word Count: 3152
Category: AU/PWP
Pairing: Lee/Kara
Warnings: Uh…smut, smut and more smut
Spoilers: Loose references to first and second season episodes and deleted scenes…
Disclaimer: Just gently (well…mostly) using these characters. They don’t belong to me.
Summary: Random scenarios from random episodes
Author’s Notes: These will be stand-alone stories. The only thing they’ll have in common is the title.
Author’s Additional Note: Set at the very end of Scar with Kara and Helo in the gym...
SCAR
“You got something to live for now…not just die for.”
Kara wanted to roll her eyes at Helo, but couldn’t quite do it.
It felt good to have something resembling hope. Instead she took a playful swipe at him and he went down, faking injury, which continued to break up the serious mood.
“Oh…I’m down for the count.” Helo tapped out as Kara gave herself a cheer. When she started to walk away, he rolled over, snagged her ankle and toppled her down on her ass.
After laughing it up over that, Helo quieted down, then threw out some unsolicited advice, before rolling to his feet to make his exit.
So here she sat…right where he’d left her.
The middle of the mat in the gym. Between the workout and the conversation she finally felt okay about a few things.
Helo had a knack for doing that for her.
Everything he’d said earlier about Kat was dead on. Kara had been too wrapped up and bogged down trying to deal with her feelings for Sam to see the situation with the younger pilot for what it was.
Or wasn’t.
The deal with Kat hadn’t been about competing…not really. It was more about the two of them needing to work like a team instead of playing one-upmanship with each other. Kara didn’t need Helo to tell her Kat’s bitter disappointment masked the pilot’s own fear of dying and not leaving anything of importance behind. Or anyone who gave a damn.
She had that one figured out on her own after Kat her punched in the briefing room.
But it did tie into Kara’s crazy hope that Anders might still be alive…and the fact that it gave her a reason to hang on…and not go out in a blaze of glory. Kinda made the deal with Kat more profoundly understandable.
It was good to have a handle on both.
None of that tripped her up. The part that blew her mind had come after the wrestling match when Helo got all serious again.
Sitting up, he’d glanced her way, a look of caution touching his eyes. “You know if you’re making a list of reasons for sticking around, there’s one other person you should add to it.”
Kara laughed and sat up. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right at the top, Karl.” She blew her bangs out of her face and almost missed his response.
“Thanks…but I'm not talking about me.”
She gave him a quizzical look.
Helo sighed. Sometimes Kara missed what was staring her in the face.
Standing, he tossed the sparring gloves off to the side. “Lee. Kara. I’m talking about Lee.” Grabbing a towel he wiped off his face. “You know…the guy who stepped up when you really needed him.” The pointed look he threw at her stung a little.
Did he think she'd forgotten about the rec room and her toast of remembrance? He and Lee were probably the only two people who knew what naming those names had cost her.
And it was Lee who’d had her back…when she couldn’t go on. She hadn’t forgotten it.
But she hadn’t said anything about it either.
Throwing the towel over his shoulder, he added. “Just think about it, okay?” He grabbed the gloves from the floor and exited.
So Kara did what he’d suggested. Thought about it.
And it made her face a couple of things she’d been avoiding.
Not her favorite activity.
But it was time. She’d been a mess lately…between the alcohol intake and the mammoth sized chip on her shoulder. Nothing and no one seemed to get through. And skating too close to the edge didn't help.
All it would do was get her killed…she realized that now.
And neither the booze nor the attitude did anything to erase the rancid aftertaste of her own failures.
Namely Sam and Lee.
The crap with Kat and Scar had been a welcome diversion. Kara couldn’t handle feeling responsible for leaving Anders to die back on Caprica. And she didn’t want to deal with the debacle in the bunkroom with Lee.
And dammit - if she were completely honest with herself - Sam was an excuse, too.
The stuff with him was more about the promise she made to return. And hell…if she faced everything here…it was so much easier to hang her feelings on someone who wasn’t around to see them.
After all…she did just fine with the dead guys, right?
Lee’s words still echoed in her head…the ring of truth behind them an unpleasant buzz in her ear. Maybe she was okay with that. And maybe she was just too damn freaked out by the stuff Lee made her feel.
She’d be terrible for him.
Gods…they’d be horrible for each other.
Right?
So why didn’t she care anymore?
She wanted Lee whether they were good for each other or not. And he’d wanted her, too…until she’d frakked it all up.
Lost in her musings, Kara didn’t hear the hatch release until the door clanged open. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she glanced up and of course Lee entered the gym.
Timing was not his strong suit.
Or hell, maybe it was, considering she’d just been thinking about him?
The irony made her laugh, which sounded more like a hoarse croak. And that drew Lee’s attention…along with a look of deep concern.
It hit her hard. After all the shit they’d flung at each other.
Lee still gave a damn. Always would.
And she’d ruined it. Per usual.
He walked toward her, but stopped himself from stooping down beside her. “You okay?” He satisfied himself with giving her a slow once over, eyes narrowed, searching for signs of intoxication.
She didn’t blame him for that.
“Yeah. I’m good.” Rising, she grabbed her towel off the bench. “Just went a couple rounds with Helo. I needed it.” She’d needed the words of wisdom, too. “Worked off the rough edges.”
Lee raised an eyebrow. “Yeah…did it help?” She didn’t seem as tense, but with Kara it was hard to tell sometimes. Right now she seemed spent as she blew her damp hair out of her eyes.
Kara shrugged. “Maybe.” She scooped up her sparring gloves then turned back to face Lee.
He had wary look about him that kinda punched her in the gut. Like he didn't know if he should advance or retreat. He opted to remain.
She'd give him points for staying because she wanted to run herself.
Instead, she opted to stick around, too.
She sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. Then she looked him square in the eye. “Thank you, by the way.”
It shouldn’t have surprised her when the shock registered on his face.
Lee shook his head. “Uh…for what?”
Kara paced back and forth. It was harder to answer than it should have been. “The rec room save. The chance at Scar.” She finally looked back. “For being there.”
Confused, Lee walked up to stand beside her. “Where is this coming from?” Not that he didn’t appreciate it…but after the week she’d had, he had to wonder.
Kara shrugged again, before meeting Lee’s eyes. “Karl. He pointed out that I have a nasty little habit of missing stuff right in front of me sometimes.” Considering Lee’s proximity at the moment, it was a bitter pill to swallow. With a morose laugh, she turned away again.
Lee stopped her progress, lifting her chin with his fingers so he could see her eyes. “Kara…are you really okay?”
Kara let out a frustrated breath. “Yes. No. I don’t know.” How the hell could she explain everything that swirled around in her head? When it was still all jumbled?
She walked away, needing some space. She hated feeling closed in and that’s how she felt.
Lee followed…trying to understand. “Kara…what’s in front of you? What are you missing?” He didn’t like being seven steps behind. And that’s where he usually was with her.
Kara halted and blew out a sigh. “You.” It was almost whispered, but she knew he heard.
He had. And it caught him completely off guard. Him?
What exactly did that mean? Hope flared…but after everything that went down in the bunkroom…he had to ask.
“What about Anders?”
Kara’s first thought was to bolt for the door and not look back, because she wasn’t ready for this. But Lee deserved an answer…as much of one as she could give anyway.
“Anders is important to me.” Watching Lee force himself not to flinch, she made a quick correction. “The promise I made is important.” Sucking in a deep breath, Kara tried to explain. “You were right, Lee. I do fine with the dead guys.” She took advantage of his stunned silence to continue. “They’re dead.”
When he opened his mouth to counter, Kara held up her hand. “They don’t judge, point out my flaws or mess anything up.” Raising her eyes to his, she added quietly. “They’re easy, Lee.”
It was his turn to put some space between them. “And I’m not easy, am I, Kara?” Feeling defeated, he turned back toward her, trying to hide his disappointment.
Kara sighed. “Nope.” She followed after him, carefully measuring her words while speaking. “You…you’re in my face. On my back. And riding my ass.” When Lee’s head jerked back as if she’d slapped him again, she grabbed his shoulder, hating how the muscles were tense and rigid under her fingertips.
Smoothing her hand down to rest at his chest, she looked directly at him. “You’re also here, Lee. Right in front of me. Covering my back. I forget that sometimes.” She paused for a moment. “No. I choose to ignore it…because I don’t wanna let you down.”
He looked like he was going to argue the point so she shook her head. “And I know I do…most of the time simply because I can.” She tilted her head sideways and shrugged, dropping her hand to her side. “And you’re not the only one.”
Her words washed over him and finally there was some clarity. At least a little.
“Like you let Anders down…by not going back?”
Kara lifted her hand, making a tic mark in the air. “Give the guy a prize.” Drained from the conversation, she turned away and sank to the floor.
Lee dropped down beside her. He had a better idea of where she was coming from now. He understood not wanting to go back on your word, how it could eat you up inside.
Hadn’t he felt the same after ejecting from the Blackbird?
He glanced in her direction. Her chin propped up on her knees, she looked resigned to breaking her promise.
He wanted to change that.
Nudging her leg, he waited till she looked at him. “There’s a shot he’s still there, Kara.”
She smiled. “I know. It’s why I’m still here. Why Scar didn’t get me. I couldn’t let go of that hope.”
If she’d said that only hours earlier, he’d be trying not to wince. But now with the picture less murky, he surprised himself by saying, “You could still go back. Don’t give up on that.”
Having Lee tell her that meant a lot. She knew it couldn’t be easy.
Nodding, she admitted. “I don’t think I could if I wanted to.” She reached out and snagged Lee’s hand. “Helo told me Anders gave me something to live for…not just die for. And he was right.” When Lee dropped his eyes from hers, she squeezed his hand until he glanced back up. “He didn’t stop there, but I didn’t realize what he meant until now.” Lacing her fingers with Lee's, she leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. “I’ve got someone to live for, too.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “You.”
Lee let out the breath he’d been holding. He wasn’t expecting that kind of admission from Kara. She had a way of always throwing him off guard.
And he had no idea how to respond.
But Kara did.
She lifted her head and angled it slightly…then slowly moved forward until their lips meshed together. And it was not the same kind of kiss she laid on him in the rec room.
Oh no.
This kiss was unhurried, her tongue moving over his bottom lip with agonizing slowness before slipping past it to tangle with his own. Her hands rose to his shoulders, drawing him closer before one smoothed down his back while the other traveled upwards until her fingers wove through his hair.
And her lips never left his.
Lee responded by tugging her hair loose from its holder to plunge his fingers through the now dry strands. Kara’s tongue was doing crazy things to his mouth and the kiss heated his blood…made him want more…and want it now. When he tried to speed things up a bit, Kara pulled back leaving him panting to catch his breath.
She gave him a gentle push and he sprawled back on his elbows. “Slow down, Lee…this isn’t a race.” She teasingly threw his words back at him…then scooched backwards, giving herself some room to work with.
She needed it…because true to her word…Kara slowed things down. Her hand trailed down Lee’s chest stopping at the hemline of his shirt. Tucking her hand underneath, she slowly rolled the shirt upwards. Lee’s lips locked onto hers when he sat up to work his arms free and she almost let herself get carried away by the igniting passion hovering between them.
Pulling back, she gasped in a breath. “You gotta stop doing that.” She groaned when he pushed up the black fabric of her bra to palm her breasts.
Yanking the restrictive garment over her head, Kara then made short work of Lee’s shirt lifting it off his shoulders and tossing it aside as his mouth closed over a taut nipple. She sucked in a harsh breath as he laved the tip with his tongue making her squirm with reaction. This going slow thing was exquisite torture.
Holding onto Lee’s shoulder with one hand, she used the other to tug off her shoes, flinging them haphazardly away. Her fingers worked to undo the laces of Lee’s shoes while his lips traveled upward to nuzzle her throat. She returned the favor, ghosting kisses along his jaw as Lee toed them off.
When their lips met again it was with a simmering urgency but their hands moved languidly to discard the remaining barrier of clothes. Easing down, they lay facing each other, skin to skin with their legs entwined. Lee caressed her slowly, covering every inch of her body, as if memorizing it by touch.
His hand delved between them, slipping between her thighs to gently cup her mound. Sliding a finger inside, he found her slick, hot and ready. When she bucked against his hand, he moaned softly against her skin.
Nudging him backwards, Kara straddled his hips trapping his erection between her folds. She slid forward and back, tempting and teasing him, until his hands gripped her hips, stilling them in protest. As he raised his head to meet her lips, she pitched forward then slowly sank down impaling herself on his cock. Groaning into his mouth, she moved against him with sensuous ease.
Cupping her ass with his hands, Lee gave himself over to her unhurried pace. The feel of her rocking over him, her muscles gripping at his cock, took his breath away. Moving his hands forward, they skimmed up her sides to cup her breasts. His fingers brushed over her nipples, drawing a low groan of pleasure from between her lips.
Kara opened her eyes and the smoldering hunger she saw in Lee’s kicked the heated friction up by another degree. Holding his gaze, she brought her hands up to cover his, urging him without words to unleash the tight control he held onto. Tucking her feet under his thighs, she twisted her hips in a slow circular motion as Lee thrust upward…pushing them both closer to the elusive brink.
Her breath coming in small gasps, Kara edged along the precipice. A burning warmth spread outward from her core to build along her limbs until she finally broke, her internal muscles clenching around Lee’s length pulling him over right behind her.
It wasn’t a plunging to the depths of rapture. It was more an explosive freefall that ebbed and flowed, tumbling through and between them, linking them together even as they shattered apart. Moving in sync, they crested wave after wave until drifting back to shore…boneless, breathless, sated and…
Complete.
Sprawled comfortably atop Lee’s chest, Kara blinked a few times to clear her vision. Lee’s fingers were absently stroking her hair, soothing and soft. She had no idea where she’d go from here…but she had a feeling she wouldn’t be alone.
Propping her chin on her fist, she raised her eyes to meet his. “So…I guess there is an ‘us’.”
Lee smiled. It was good to hear her say it.
Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, he agreed. “There’s an ‘us’.” His lips brushed over her forehead.
Kara grinned…then sobered. “How’s this gonna work?” She angled sideways and slid down getting more comfortable in the crook of Lee’s arm.
Lee thought quietly for a moment. “The same way it always has.” His fingers trailed over her shoulder, tracing random circular patterns while he continued. “We’ll push each other’s buttons. Argue. Fight.” He glanced down, a smile quirking along his lips. “We might even come to blows.”
Kara snorted then smirked because he was probably right.
Lee grinned…then got serious again. “But the main thing is just being there. We’ve always done that, Kara. When it really mattered.” He cocked his head so he could look at her again. “Isn’t that the important thing?”
Kara lifted her head and kissed him. Once. Twice. Then a third time for good measure. “Yep.”
Sitting up, Kara turned toward Lee, meeting his gaze. He looked back at her like he knew there was more, but waited, not pressing for information.
Biting her lip, she dropped her gaze before speaking. “I’m going back for Anders.” She didn’t know how or when, but she was determined to keep that promise.
Hearing the conviction in her voice, Lee sat up slowly. He didn’t disagree with her desire to rescue the people on Caprica. They owed it to them to try. He’d been passive about making appeals, but he wouldn’t be anymore.
Grasping her hands in his, Lee nodded. “I know you are.” Lifting her chin, he held her eyes. “You’ll find a way.” Then he smiled. “Check that…we’ll find a way.”
Feeling pretty damn good about everything, Kara heaved a happy sigh tinged with relief.
Was it really this easy?
The thought made her chuckle. When Lee quirked an eyebrow in question, she explained. “Who knew I’d finally do okay with a non-dead guy?” The she grinned and shook her head.
Lee laughed, then grabbed her face to swoop in for a kiss.
FIN