BSG Fic: 12 Days of Ficmas: Snippets in Time - Black Market
Title: 12 Days of Ficmas (Day Twelve): Snippets in Time - Black Market
Author: Monti
Date: December 5, 2007 (Original) December 23, 2009 (Revisited)
Rating: M
Word Count:
Category: AU/PWP
Pairing: Lee/Kara
Warnings: Uh…smut, smut and more smut
Spoilers: Loose references to first and second season episodes and deleted scenes…
Disclaimer: Just gently (well…mostly) using these characters. They don’t belong to me.
Summary: Random scenarios from random episodes
Author’s Notes: These will be stand-alone stories. The only thing they’ll have in common is the title.
Author’s Additional Note: This was a tricky one…hence the six-month lead time to finally finish it.
BLACK MARKET
Lee awoke with a start…he’d been doing that a lot lately. Even sleeping in a different bed didn’t help. Just couldn’t seem to get away from it.
He supposed it was inevitable. After ejecting from the Blackbird and drifting in space while a battle raged around him, Lee assumed his life was over.
He'd accepted it.
Hell…even welcomed it.
Because while he’d floated in the darkness…all the ghosts of his past crashed head on with the demons of the present…and Lee didn’t think life was worth fighting for anymore. His only regret was not being around to have Kara’s back. The rest…his past mistakes and his current disappointments…he could happily let them go.
And he thought he did.
Except they’d brought him back.
And now he was stuck trying to live an existence that didn’t feel like it fit anymore. Living with memories he didn’t want because they made him face things about himself he couldn’t. He felt out of sync and didn’t seem capable of falling back into step with the rest of humanity.
Feeling alone, isolated and uncomfortable in his own skin, Lee went in search of something to focus his attention on…anything that didn’t involve being in his head…alone with his thoughts. He wanted, no needed, something simple and uncomplicated.
And he thought he’d found it.
Yawning, he rolled to his side and bumped up against the warmth of someone else.
His beautiful blonde…
The one who chased the shadows away.
With a smile, his hand drifted up her bare thigh before sliding over her hip to pull her snug against him. She didn’t resist…in fact she sighed contentedly and burrowed closer to him. His eyes slid closed while he pondered how he ended up sharing her bed.
He’d been off since his rescue. Withdrawn, aloof. He knew people worried. But he couldn’t…wouldn’t let himself connect.
He did his job, got things done, followed orders…and that was all.
He didn’t trust anyone, including himself. They’d let him down…but worse than that…the part he struggled with the most…was the knowledge that he wasn’t any better.
It ate him up inside. When he could muster up enough emotion to give a damn.
The vaguely dissatisfied feeling was what pushed him to seek refuge…somewhere away from Galactica. He didn’t want to reach out to anyone, but needed some kind of outlet.
What was better than a nameless face, nothing to live up to, and being with someone who couldn’t possibly let him down?
Only it didn't quite work out that way.
After the first awkward meeting where he didn’t have a clue how things worked, Lee learned the lay of the land quickly enough. His money was her time and he could use it however he wanted. He knew it meant he was supposed to slake his lust with a willing body.
And he did that.
But he also unloaded his burden on someone who didn’t have any choice but to listen.
Past demons.
His father.
The President.
Kara.
Everything that weighed him down…all spilled out.
And that was where and how things went wrong.
By the time the dust had settled, Lee saw just how murky his reality had become.
The tangled mess that arose from his involvement with Shevon while investigating the black market had shown him the ugly truth. There were times when something bad needed to exist because of the good that could come from it. And there were circumstances where one individual was so damaging, so morally corrupt that their very existence was detrimental to the survival of the human race.
Lee kind of wished he hadn’t seen or experienced that firsthand.
But he had.
Phelan had it right about one thing, though. By standing in the mud…Lee was as dirty as the next guy.
No one was squeaky clean anymore.
Nobody.
Standing in the Raptor, Lee watched Paya’s open-mouthed awe as the child stared intently out the window. Amazed at her resilience, she seemed to have bounced back from the last few days relatively unscathed. He hoped the arrangements he’d made for Shevon and her daughter were part of the something good.
They were headed to the Rising Star where Shevon would oversee helping other families in the same situation as hers.
When they landed, Shevon held Paya’s hand along with the girl’s small overnight bag containing her medication and flashed Lee a grateful smile. “Go to her, Lee.” She paused while Paya tugged at her so they could leave. “Give her a chance to fill the empty spots.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “What more do you have to lose?”
Turning, she let her excited daughter lead her toward the porter who waited to show them to quarters.
Lee realized Shevon was both right and wrong.
He didn’t have anything else to lose. His ideals were gone. By killing Phelan, he’d compromised himself to the point he had no room to judge others. The President, his father, Kara. Things weren’t as black and white as they used to be.
If nothing else, getting to the bottom of the black market showed him that. Just how compromised they all were. Every last one of them.
He got it now. He really did.
And oddly, he could live with it…maybe more so now after everything else that had happened.
The part he wasn’t sure he could live with was telling Kara.
Everything.
Because it went way back. Back before the attacks. And he understood where she'd been coming from now…the guilt she had over Zak…but he didn’t think she’d understand where his head had been then. Or why he'd run.
And he was selfish enough to know he couldn’t survive the loss of her.
But it wasn’t fair to hold back.
And it was Kara.
If anyone understood screwing up so badly it was hard to live in your own skin, she did.
So he took Shevon’s advice and tracked Kara down. She was catching some rack time, but her curtain was open so he nudged her awake and asked if she was still willing to listen. He had a story he needed to tell. When she’d slid over giving him space, he crawled up into the bunk and sat at the opposite end facing her. Kara closed out the bunkroom and settled back to hear what he had to say.
And just like she’d once confessed her sins to him, he laid out all his transgressions for her.
Every last one of them.
He told her about Gianne and not being ready for fatherhood.
He explained how he gave up. Purposefully let his oxygen run out because he didn’t think it was worth it to live in a world where murder was the way to deal with a superior officer.
How his only regret was letting her down and not having her back.
Lee didn’t leave anything out. He told Kara how he felt disconnected and sought something simple and uncomplicated with Shevon…human contact and physical release.
And how it blew up in his face.
How tracking down the leader of the black market finally made him understand where his father and Roslin were coming from with Cain.
And he told her about pulling the trigger.
When he finished he waited for her to say something. To tell him to get away from her. He was shocked when, after looking at him thoughtfully for a few moments, she finally spoke.
“Feel better now?”
He was a little stunned. He’d just confessed to killing a man in cold blood and she asked if he felt better?
That was it?
“You - you don’t hate me?” Her lack of reaction was more than he’d hoped for and frankly, confusing as hell.
Sighing softly, Kara replied. “Confession’s not about making people hate, Lee.” How could she explain this to him? “It’s about catharsis. So you can live with the wrong you’ve done.” Tilting her head she watched him absorb what she said. “Did you hate me when I told you about Zak? Did you walk away?” She sat up and drew her feet under her legs crossways.
She had him there…he didn’t hate her for Zak…but she’d made her confession on the day their worlds ended.
There was a difference, wasn’t there?
And he had walked away…well…technically ejected…but it was the same thing.
When he opened his mouth to say so, she shook her head. “You’ve never let me down.”
Lee looked away from her. “I wasn’t there for you.” He cringed at the unpleasant sound she made at that statement.
“Turns out you didn’t have to be. The old man called off the mission, remember?” Leaning forward, she pinned him with her gaze. “You’re willing to frak your personal ethics. Leave 'em behind for something you think is wrong and that’s not enough? I’m supposed to be pissed you almost died and weren’t there? Gods, Lee.” She leaned back in frustration, letting her eyes drop to her lap.
“Kara, I-" He what? Lee didn’t know anymore. Why did it have to be so hard?
Kara could see his confusion…knew exactly what he felt like.
It sucked when life kicked you in the teeth…made you lose hope…hell it made you lose who you were sometimes. Scrambling across the bed, she crawled over his legs and settled down on his lap. With her face inches from his, she tried to show him it was okay.
Grabbing his hands in hers, she tried to explain. “Look, Lee. I get it. I really do.” She waited until she had his eyes before going on. “We all have shit we drag around. Mistakes. Screw-ups. Crap we’re not proud of.” Her lips quirked up briefly but she quickly got serious again. “It’s easy to do the right thing. What’s hard is living with the wrong. Do you get that?” Again, she waited…holding his gaze before letting go and moving her hands up to cup his face. “Tell me you get that now.”
He thought maybe he did.
And he hadn’t lost everything. Hell, he might have even gained something. Kara understood how shattered he’d been…knew the price he’d paid…and how hard it was for him to live with it.
For the first time in ages he felt like he was back on even footing and that he wouldn’t splinter apart at the slightest provocation.
Bringing his hands up, he covered hers tugging them down to rest on her lap. “I get it.” Tilting forward, he gently bumped his forehead against hers. “Thanks.” When he would have pulled all the way back, Kara surprised him by edging closer to mesh her lips with his.
Not what he expected…but definitely welcomed. And if he were totally honest…needed. She infused him with an energy that felt healing and he marveled at its intensity.
Unwilling to stop the flow of kisses that melted from one into the next, Lee slid his hands from hers, reaching around to draw her closer. Settling her more comfortably against him, he scooted them both down until they lay flat on the bunk. Neither was in a hurry, lips traveling slow and lazy over newly exposed skin…their peeled off clothing removing the layers that separated them until there was nothing but a sliver of air between.
As Kara’s hands smoothed over his flesh, Lee molded her even closer letting his own fingers explore her skin. It shouldn’t feel so good, should it?
Being with Kara.
It felt right…true.
He hadn’t felt that way about anything for so long it was almost foreign to him. Took him a moment to recognize it for what it was.
Hope.
That he’d be okay. He would.
Joy.
That Kara understood. She did.
And love.
Maybe the forever kind and maybe not…but it was there, nonetheless.
In her touch as her fingers teased along the length of his cock. In her eyes, growing dark with passion as she gazed at him. In her lips stoking the heat between them, burning a fire-hot trail along his jaw before landing back on his, pulling him out of his reverie.
Putting his focus where it belonged, Lee didn’t hold his feelings in check. Instead he let them out, let them flow freely as lips and hands caressed and stroked, building up a pleasurable friction.
Lee thought he could happily spend the rest of his life just touching Kara like this. About the time that notion hit, she maneuvered on top of him, sliding herself over his cock to start a gentle rocking motion and Lee decided a lifetime wouldn’t be long enough.
They’d need at least two…three to be safe.
Lifting his head, he captured the tip of her breast between his lips tugging the nipple under his tongue until Kara gasped at the sensation. Skimming his hands up her back, he switched sides this time biting gently before sucking the peak, feeling Kara’s hips move rapidly as she moaned his name.
Her head pitched forward and she nipped at his shoulder, grinding faster and harder, fingers digging into his biceps with purchase. She changed up the pace, adding a slight twist of her hips to the hurried rhythmic rocking motion. Lee did his part to help by raising his ass off the bunk, going deeper, which earned him a shuddering groan from Kara.
Tossing her head back, her breaths rasped out in short little bursts that synchronized with the back and forth action of her movements. Lee’s hips dipped then pushed upwards and gods it felt good…better than good…it was indescribable. He did it again, relishing the feel of Kara clenching around him, savoring the sense of going deeper, catapulting closer to the stratosphere with every plunge and thrust.
Skirting very close to edge of his control, Lee gasped Kara’s name, asking with his eyes if she was ready to let go. Giving him a jerky nod, she bucked her hips one last time then shattered, coming hard, her mouth working silently as she held back a loud moan. Grasping her pelvic bone with both hands, Lee followed right behind careening over the edge with a harsh breath, nearly strangling on the pleasure exploding through his system.
Satiated and spent, when Kara collapsed on top of him, he didn’t think life could be any better. Considering the darkness he’d been living in, it was a good feeling. Even better was Kara sliding off him in a boneless heap but staying close, tucking her head under his chin before she reached to pull the coverlet over them. Lee had a sneaking suspicion that three lifetimes still wouldn’t be enough time to explore everything he felt for her.
His last thought before drifting toward sleep was that maybe they should shoot for four.
When he jerked awake a couple hours later, it didn’t surprise him.
Not really.
It didn’t matter where he slept, time would be the balm that eventually faded the damaged scar. At least it was scabbed over and he didn’t feel the oppressive weight that urged him to shut everything out anymore.
Yawning, he rolled to his side and bumped up against the warmth of Kara.
His beautiful blonde…
The one who chased the shadows away.
With a smile, his hand drifted up her bare thigh before sliding over her hip to pull her snug against him. She didn’t resist…in fact she sighed contentedly and burrowed closer to him.
His eyes slid closed while he pondered how he ended up sharing her bunk, but Kara had other ideas as her lips ghosted over skin. He grinned then grasped her chin, tilting it upwards to brush his lips over hers.
Kara smiled but looked at him in question. “You okay?” When he whispered that he was good, she nodded then let her hands roam freely over his body.
Giving him a push backwards, she shifted her position to straddle his torso again…kissing her way from his shoulder to his chin before hitting his mouth for a meltingly hot embrace that had him primed and ready to go.
“You up for round two?”
Like she couldn’t already feel the answer to that question.
Lee’s growled low in his throat and flipped their positions, pulling a sultry laugh from Kara.
His mouth hit hers, his tongue sought entrance to duel enticingly with hers and his last coherent thought was…
Five…
FIN