(no subject)
woke up to a long, piercing scream from a two year old, followed by a hasty shout of, 'sorry to wake you, rose, but it's snowing!'
half asleep, i imagined what i'd see when my alarm went off and i struggled up to draw the curtains...wet black street, a white dusting over the church, soft flakes just sighing down from the sky. magical and new.
but when i did open the curtains, it was the same village it is every morning just with extra white bits, and i was still groggy and the sky was still dirty grey and i still had to work all day. so what had i been hoping for? a transformation, it seems. a disruption. a break in routine.
am i really that restless that a month and a half in the one job brings me to this point? yes. and more.
it was only two weeks ago that my workplace was in turmoil. staff quitting and moaning, one boss in hospital, tips gone awol, rosters all over the place and shifts stretching into unreasonable lengths...and i loved it. i loved the feeling of imminent disaster, of movement, of chaos, of just not knowing what might happen next.
everything's quieted down, though, and i'm actually...settling. unlike the snow this morning, which melted into slush and rain, i've actually nestled into the cracks and shall stay here as long as the present climate continues.
the worst of it is entirely manageable, and the best is pretty damn good.
...every morning i unlock and open up the front door and take a breath of cold air. and every night i lock it again. it's an endless, ridiculous cycle of set-up and clean down, but it's almost soothing...
half asleep, i imagined what i'd see when my alarm went off and i struggled up to draw the curtains...wet black street, a white dusting over the church, soft flakes just sighing down from the sky. magical and new.
but when i did open the curtains, it was the same village it is every morning just with extra white bits, and i was still groggy and the sky was still dirty grey and i still had to work all day. so what had i been hoping for? a transformation, it seems. a disruption. a break in routine.
am i really that restless that a month and a half in the one job brings me to this point? yes. and more.
it was only two weeks ago that my workplace was in turmoil. staff quitting and moaning, one boss in hospital, tips gone awol, rosters all over the place and shifts stretching into unreasonable lengths...and i loved it. i loved the feeling of imminent disaster, of movement, of chaos, of just not knowing what might happen next.
everything's quieted down, though, and i'm actually...settling. unlike the snow this morning, which melted into slush and rain, i've actually nestled into the cracks and shall stay here as long as the present climate continues.
the worst of it is entirely manageable, and the best is pretty damn good.
...every morning i unlock and open up the front door and take a breath of cold air. and every night i lock it again. it's an endless, ridiculous cycle of set-up and clean down, but it's almost soothing...