Hung by heartstrings and it hurts too much to breathe.
Just when i thought i couldn't possibly get any more stupid, i am proved horribly wrong on a near daily basis. The padded cell is looking more and more interesting and i fear i may actually get to the point where i just let the blades do their work and have their way, just enough that i can be checked into an institution so i can be locked away for a long while... longer still if i fess up to my continuing suicidal thoughts. Would it only serve to worsen my condition if i am left with just my inner voices? Or would it somehow benefit me to step away from all humanity that i might not get attached to anyone, and consequently, not develop any strings that might choke me to death.
i feel like an abandoned stray in the pound. Everyone wants to pet the one so eager to lick a caring hand that dares to reach out... leaning against the chainlink with everything in my soul just for a brief gentle touch. Oh yes, everyone wants to pet this forlorn, shaggy and disheveled one, but no one wants to take me home... everyone wants a happy perky puppy with a beautiful coat and unhaunted bright eyes that lack the sadness of the world. But wait! Don't walk away from my cage yet! You won't have to train me, i'd love unconditoinally, live only to please and make you happy, die just to be able to curl at your feet or lay my head in your lap... and just be with you: my owner... my Alpha... my mate. What i wouldn't give to be someone's. As i've said before, i'd rather be called "Mine" than "beautiful"... *sighs* if only.
i feel like an abandoned stray in the pound. Everyone wants to pet the one so eager to lick a caring hand that dares to reach out... leaning against the chainlink with everything in my soul just for a brief gentle touch. Oh yes, everyone wants to pet this forlorn, shaggy and disheveled one, but no one wants to take me home... everyone wants a happy perky puppy with a beautiful coat and unhaunted bright eyes that lack the sadness of the world. But wait! Don't walk away from my cage yet! You won't have to train me, i'd love unconditoinally, live only to please and make you happy, die just to be able to curl at your feet or lay my head in your lap... and just be with you: my owner... my Alpha... my mate. What i wouldn't give to be someone's. As i've said before, i'd rather be called "Mine" than "beautiful"... *sighs* if only.