Five Minute Lone Wolf and Cub -001 - Son for Hire, Sword for Hire
I've been reading Lone Wolf and Cub lately, and I'm bored, so I thought I'd do a parody...
FM:LWC:001- Son for Hire, Sword for Hire
Ogami's Client: So... here's your money...
Ogami: ...
Ogami's Client: Blah blah blah... dishoner... blah blah...Guardian Eight ... blah... branch family vs main family politics... blah blah blah... just go kill the head of household.
Ogami: Damn, Big Brother has gotten competitive.
Guardian 8 Dude 1: Hey guys look over there at that dude and his kid.
Baby Cart Sign: Son for Hire, Sword Entertainer for Hire: We are available for any special occasion- Weddings, Barmitzvahs, Children's parties, Funerals... especially funerals. We are absolutely not assassins.
Guardian 8 Dude 2: Hmm this intelligence report we recieved a couple days ago says something about a man with a baby carriage called Lone Wolf and Cub.
Intelligence Report: Name: Ogami Itto Weapons: All of them. Dangerous: For the love of Buddha and all the Kami, don't look at him funny. Dislikes: Rude people Likes: Kids, long walks in the park and killing things.
Guardian 8 Dude 3: Do... do you think he's the guy we're looking for?
Guardian 8 Dude 1: Say, my good man, is that your son in that baby cart your pushing?
Ogami: ... No. I just found him.
Guardian 8 Dude 1: Really? O_O
Ogami: No... not really -_-
Guardian 8 Dude 2: @_@ He's adorable. Can I hold him?
Ogami: ... No.
Guardiann 8 Dude 3: Okay. Wanna fight then?
Ogami: Fine.
: fight ensues :
Ogami: :deadpan: Oh no, I am captured. How ever did you know my true identity as assassin Lone Wolf and Cub.
Guardian 8: Waha! We knew who you were the whole time!
Ogami: And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids...
Guardian 8: Now we shall bring you to our employer for judgement!
Ogami: Uh... yeah, you do that...
Ogami: : Is tied up :
Employer: Who sent you to assassinate me?
Ogami: Oh okay you twisted my arm, I'll tell you everything, but first my son has to go to the bathroom. Right Daigoro? : wink wink nudge nudge :
Daigoro: : wails :
Employer: Someone take him to the bathroom.
Ogami: Uh actually i'm the only one who he'll let help with that... heh.. you know kids... heh heh
Employer: Well, untying you seems harmless enough...
Ogami: ...
: Bathroom break! :
Ogami: : Returns : So... how did you know I was an assassin again?
Employer: Oh we got an alert from one of my spies.
Ogami: Did it read something like: "Name: Ogami Itto Weapons: All of them. Dangerous: For the love of Buddha and all the Kami, don't look at him funny. Dislikes: Rude people Likes: Kids, long walks in the park and killing things." ?
Employer: Why yes, that's it word for word.
Ogami: Huh.. funny thing about that....sounds exactly like the one I sent after I killed your spy.
Hidden Spear in Baby Cart: : is thrown :
Employer: : hurk! : X_X
Guardian 8: Well, this is ungood...Fight then?
Ogami: Fine...
Fight: : Almost ensues :
Ogami's Client: : Arrives : O hay guyz... so i'm your new head of household since your previous employer got eliminated. As my first official act, I order you not to kill the assassin which I hired.
Guardian 8: Oh okay, cool.
Ogami: Been nice working with you. Catch you later.
: Ogami and Daigoro walk off into the sunset :
FM:LWC:001- Son for Hire, Sword for Hire
Ogami's Client: So... here's your money...
Ogami: ...
Ogami's Client: Blah blah blah... dishoner... blah blah...Guardian Eight ... blah... branch family vs main family politics... blah blah blah... just go kill the head of household.
Ogami: Damn, Big Brother has gotten competitive.
Guardian 8 Dude 1: Hey guys look over there at that dude and his kid.
Baby Cart Sign: Son for Hire, Sword Entertainer for Hire: We are available for any special occasion- Weddings, Barmitzvahs, Children's parties, Funerals... especially funerals. We are absolutely not assassins.
Guardian 8 Dude 2: Hmm this intelligence report we recieved a couple days ago says something about a man with a baby carriage called Lone Wolf and Cub.
Intelligence Report: Name: Ogami Itto Weapons: All of them. Dangerous: For the love of Buddha and all the Kami, don't look at him funny. Dislikes: Rude people Likes: Kids, long walks in the park and killing things.
Guardian 8 Dude 3: Do... do you think he's the guy we're looking for?
Guardian 8 Dude 1: Say, my good man, is that your son in that baby cart your pushing?
Ogami: ... No. I just found him.
Guardian 8 Dude 1: Really? O_O
Ogami: No... not really -_-
Guardian 8 Dude 2: @_@ He's adorable. Can I hold him?
Ogami: ... No.
Guardiann 8 Dude 3: Okay. Wanna fight then?
Ogami: Fine.
: fight ensues :
Ogami: :deadpan: Oh no, I am captured. How ever did you know my true identity as assassin Lone Wolf and Cub.
Guardian 8: Waha! We knew who you were the whole time!
Ogami: And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids...
Guardian 8: Now we shall bring you to our employer for judgement!
Ogami: Uh... yeah, you do that...
Ogami: : Is tied up :
Employer: Who sent you to assassinate me?
Ogami: Oh okay you twisted my arm, I'll tell you everything, but first my son has to go to the bathroom. Right Daigoro? : wink wink nudge nudge :
Daigoro: : wails :
Employer: Someone take him to the bathroom.
Ogami: Uh actually i'm the only one who he'll let help with that... heh.. you know kids... heh heh
Employer: Well, untying you seems harmless enough...
Ogami: ...
: Bathroom break! :
Ogami: : Returns : So... how did you know I was an assassin again?
Employer: Oh we got an alert from one of my spies.
Ogami: Did it read something like: "Name: Ogami Itto Weapons: All of them. Dangerous: For the love of Buddha and all the Kami, don't look at him funny. Dislikes: Rude people Likes: Kids, long walks in the park and killing things." ?
Employer: Why yes, that's it word for word.
Ogami: Huh.. funny thing about that....sounds exactly like the one I sent after I killed your spy.
Hidden Spear in Baby Cart: : is thrown :
Employer: : hurk! : X_X
Guardian 8: Well, this is ungood...Fight then?
Ogami: Fine...
Fight: : Almost ensues :
Ogami's Client: : Arrives : O hay guyz... so i'm your new head of household since your previous employer got eliminated. As my first official act, I order you not to kill the assassin which I hired.
Guardian 8: Oh okay, cool.
Ogami: Been nice working with you. Catch you later.
: Ogami and Daigoro walk off into the sunset :