[update] Is the week done yet? Oh. Not yet.
I finished Lisa Carey's Every Visible Thing today. I started it before the move but had to stop when all my hardbound books had to be wrapped in stained cartolina and sent over to the new house where we now live. I hadn't realized how close to the finish I was. I guess it was because I'd forgotten that this is the way she writes, holding out on you until the very last minute.
All in all, it's a brilliant book. She still has that ability to make me ponder over things long after I close the book.
I am currently staring at the eight (yes, eight) highlighters currently snapped on one of the little metal shelves that I don't really use. LOL. One is pink, three are orange, and then there's a yellow, a green and two blues. For some reason it's just hilarious to me. I'm considering taking some of these home. My brothers might be able to put them to better use.
I just finished putting my workspace back in relative order. There's an entire box of paper and modules that I no longer need and am planning to send it over to where the TLs have arranged for similar junk to go. A memo was released yesterday to clear up our desks to comply with the clean-desk policy. We have to make sure that our workstations are spic-and-span by tomorrow.
Have already located a plastic which will allow me to take home some of the books that I brought here for safe-keeping/display for the duration of the move. I've decided to leave a few: my copy of Runaway Horses, Faye's insanely_quirky copy of Jeanette Winterson's Written On The Body and the two Young Wizards books that I borrowed from Sammu alluriel (must return, asap). Other than that, my topshelf is blessedly bare save for my half-empty bottle of Vanilla syrup, the box of TAZO tea that only has about 4 packs left (office stash, more at home, I think), my mug, the umbrella I keep here at work in case the rains start falling and a bottle of C-luim capsules that I've long-since forgotten to drink 30 minutes before what may be construed as "meals".
My corkboard is still up (thank God). It's still covered with the ladybug push pins that look really cute standing out against the brown. The new workstations at the new building are this really pretty shade of yellow and I think I can still use the pins when we finally make the move over.
I need more pictures. I think, even if I take everything else away, if the pictures on my corkboard stay, my desk doesn't look too plain. If anything, seeing my friends' faces from trips out of town and the like and that photo I have of Punch and me smushed on the bed is a fairly good de-stresser, if I do say so myself.
Besides. Even if I had to give up my books, I always have one with me, set down beside my left elbow. :)
I'm thinking of giving up my loveseat. =\ It's this pretty little wicker thing that I really wanted to give a brand new coat of paint (hunter green). But I've spent the last two weeks really thinking over whether it's something I want to keep because my room just isn't big enough to deal with a bed + shelves + loveseat. There's just not enough room. Besides, I have plans to get a new bed, a daybed that I've wanted for so long and having that and the loveseat just seems really... redundant.
So, yes. Seriously considering throwing it out/giving it away. I wish I could say that Dad would consider setting it up outside, once we've cleared everything else, but that's a longshot and given how much he's been advocating getting rid of the thing in the first place, I highly doubt that he'll reconsider.
It's not that giving it up will be so bad. If I get the daybed that I've wanted for a long time now, it won't be, really. And I'll get more space, will be permitted to rearrange the things in my room including the glass shelf. Tossing the loveseat out means new bed + new bookshelf, which I actually... really need. I even have one picked out. It's finished in brown laminate that makes it look pretty and is thin enough and tall enough to handle all the stuff I want to display. Cheap too. Just short of 2K php.
Will spend tonight going over the boxes. I need to see if there's anything else I can part with in terms of papers that I've kept.
This is mostly for me. You don't have to read beyond this point.
I've been thinking a lot about a number of things ever since I decided that I would start doing certain things to get my life on the track that I want for it. The last week has been nervewracking in ways that I really am not ready to discuss, particularly when it comes to life - mine in particular, and the fact that dmy brain has been on something of overdrive both in the good and bad sense.
I've always had something of a feeling that time was running out for me: time to do the things I want, to accomplish the things I'd like to accomplish. I suppose, on some level, this was prompted by a post that Marie ceasefire made awhile back about looking back on her life thus far and realizing that nothing monumental has occurred yet - at least in terms of accomplishment.
Like anyone who is a fair number of years older than her friends, I guess it's only natural to say: Slow down. Don't rush. It's okay, you're young. You have time. But on the other hand, I have to wonder why say these things? True, there is a lifetime ahead of them, but why not get started as early as when you realize you want to accomplish things?
I've always envied my brother's intense drive to accomplish things. The fact that he will be taking on Law School in the coming schoolyear (something he decided he would do back in his grade school years) blows my mind and makes my heart want to burst because he is one of those people who inspire me by the simple fact that they set their minds fearlessly on a goal, take aim and achieve.
I'm not that kind of person. I can try, but I'm not. Doing that does not come as easy to me because half the time, I'm not sure what I want or when I want them. Important decisions take time for me. I need to literally let them stew, sometimes for hours, days, months - hell, even years. I need to do that, be comfortable and sure that I am committed in my decision before I say "Yes. Yes."
I suppose this is why I'm always in so much awe of people who are that kind of person. Why I am drawn to be in the company of these people. They inspire me.
A bit of rambling on my part, because I am the type to ramble: It sounds ridiculously fatalistic to think that even before I was born, I was the type to vacillate. The family story has been recounted enough times: I was due April 21, 1985, and silly as it sounds, whenever I check Astrology books my personality for that day is so much closer to who I am than the one talked about in April 18; the day I was born. Mom's told me that she went into something like 12 hours of labor with me, at the end of which she needed a C-section because I apparently wasn't cooperating in the way I was supposed to.
I know better than to pin my life on something as "silly" as Astrology, star charts, horoscopes. I don't need people to tell me that these things sometimes limit the human imagination. I know that they can. I also know that my interest in these things has helped me to broaden my own personal scope and establish what belief systems seem logical and plausible and open to me. Because I admit, I need to believe that there are reasons for things, nevermind how painful some of these might be. I have an almost desperate need to understand things, I will pick them apart if I have to and put them back together - but I do this because there are some things I want - and yes, again need to know.
In any case, even if this isn't true - true in the sense that our actions as early as the months, hours and seconds before we even breathe our first air on this planet - it's more than a little surprising how it reflects my occassional impulsiveness, the heart-wrenching hesitation that follows, and the end of these which either conclude with me retracting whatever it was I did, or just throwing caution to the wind and leaving it out there to fare on it's own.
Over the last year I've been constantly talking about my music: what I want to do with it, where I hope for it to go. I've chronicled some of the things that I've done - all the recording I've been doing at home, the times I would re-evaluate what needed to be "reworked" or "rearranged" in terms of accompaniment. In a handful of instances, I uploaded the mp3 files to share these with those of you who leave me very grateful for the support, the interest and encouragement. On the side I discussed with some friends, with my parents, whatever I could of copyright and intellectual property rights.
I do not want a take two of someone claiming my work as theirs. That nightmare is a constant murmur over my shoulder, countered only by the wonderful people who check in and really listen to what I put together; the people who don't mind it when I babble on and on about plans that, to me, never seem to really materialize.
On one and, I have my su-on, my godsister, Tintin to thank. Her and Ian, her younger brother, their parents who make me feel ridiculously special and who filled the house with good vibes and laughter and happy talk when they flew over from Atlanta to spend some time over here. I think talking to Tintin opened up something inside of me that at the time, I only felt safe to share with a handful of my closest friends, people who I had grown sure of, with whom I could tell my dreams to and not feel as though I was wasting their time.
I don't know how to explain just... how much this thing means to me. But if it helps any, the fact that I talk and talk and talk abuot it, turn it over in every which way possible - it's that important.
I have to be careful with it, you see. Can't be careless. I don't think it can stand me dropping it on the floor again. And I promised myself I wouldn't.
So. Here for my sake are my plans. Post-discussion with Luis and after several chats with a handful of people who were kind enough to give up even five minutes of their time to deal with a more than slightly spazzy Noeyshroom, panicking because nothing to do at work equals too much time spent in her darkroom of a head.
Finish the last 3 tracks for the Demo.
Have Demo copyrighted at the National Library & pay a visit to the IPO.
Upgrade Myspace. Have already discussed this with Mia (thank you, bb). Consider taking down existing tracks/photos.
Set aside money for recording sessions at studio. 3.5K Php/song.
Consult with studio-contact on how to go about "upgrading songs" for maximum quality.
Record "Broadcast-Ready" copies of those 4 start-up songs meant for Myspace.
Do not panic over this. It may not get done right away, but it will get done.
I need to start figuring out how to give a bit more texture to the 4 songs I've selected. I know nothing about guitars and drums except the abstract version of how I'd like the finished copies to sound. I'm very grateful to Faye (my Da) really, because she's been trying to find a guitarist who might be willing to talk to me about the finer points about putting together an arrangement. If I need to pay a fee for help in that department, I don't think I want to hesitate. But at least, since Faye has already said that she's backing me on this, she can advise me on what is reasonable.
Still so much for me to do. I need to read up on Adobe Audition again, maybe I can figure out how to record "cleaner" and "better-finished" copies in case working in a studio becomes unplausible for the time being. One day, if even something does come out of this, maybe when the family gets its own house, I will set up my own home-studio so that cost will be minimized. One day.
In the meantime, I already know what resources I have and what resources I don't. Now it's time to make it work.
All in all, it's a brilliant book. She still has that ability to make me ponder over things long after I close the book.
I am currently staring at the eight (yes, eight) highlighters currently snapped on one of the little metal shelves that I don't really use. LOL. One is pink, three are orange, and then there's a yellow, a green and two blues. For some reason it's just hilarious to me. I'm considering taking some of these home. My brothers might be able to put them to better use.
I just finished putting my workspace back in relative order. There's an entire box of paper and modules that I no longer need and am planning to send it over to where the TLs have arranged for similar junk to go. A memo was released yesterday to clear up our desks to comply with the clean-desk policy. We have to make sure that our workstations are spic-and-span by tomorrow.
Have already located a plastic which will allow me to take home some of the books that I brought here for safe-keeping/display for the duration of the move. I've decided to leave a few: my copy of Runaway Horses, Faye's insanely_quirky copy of Jeanette Winterson's Written On The Body and the two Young Wizards books that I borrowed from Sammu alluriel (must return, asap). Other than that, my topshelf is blessedly bare save for my half-empty bottle of Vanilla syrup, the box of TAZO tea that only has about 4 packs left (office stash, more at home, I think), my mug, the umbrella I keep here at work in case the rains start falling and a bottle of C-luim capsules that I've long-since forgotten to drink 30 minutes before what may be construed as "meals".
My corkboard is still up (thank God). It's still covered with the ladybug push pins that look really cute standing out against the brown. The new workstations at the new building are this really pretty shade of yellow and I think I can still use the pins when we finally make the move over.
I need more pictures. I think, even if I take everything else away, if the pictures on my corkboard stay, my desk doesn't look too plain. If anything, seeing my friends' faces from trips out of town and the like and that photo I have of Punch and me smushed on the bed is a fairly good de-stresser, if I do say so myself.
Besides. Even if I had to give up my books, I always have one with me, set down beside my left elbow. :)
I'm thinking of giving up my loveseat. =\ It's this pretty little wicker thing that I really wanted to give a brand new coat of paint (hunter green). But I've spent the last two weeks really thinking over whether it's something I want to keep because my room just isn't big enough to deal with a bed + shelves + loveseat. There's just not enough room. Besides, I have plans to get a new bed, a daybed that I've wanted for so long and having that and the loveseat just seems really... redundant.
So, yes. Seriously considering throwing it out/giving it away. I wish I could say that Dad would consider setting it up outside, once we've cleared everything else, but that's a longshot and given how much he's been advocating getting rid of the thing in the first place, I highly doubt that he'll reconsider.
It's not that giving it up will be so bad. If I get the daybed that I've wanted for a long time now, it won't be, really. And I'll get more space, will be permitted to rearrange the things in my room including the glass shelf. Tossing the loveseat out means new bed + new bookshelf, which I actually... really need. I even have one picked out. It's finished in brown laminate that makes it look pretty and is thin enough and tall enough to handle all the stuff I want to display. Cheap too. Just short of 2K php.
Will spend tonight going over the boxes. I need to see if there's anything else I can part with in terms of papers that I've kept.
This is mostly for me. You don't have to read beyond this point.
I've been thinking a lot about a number of things ever since I decided that I would start doing certain things to get my life on the track that I want for it. The last week has been nervewracking in ways that I really am not ready to discuss, particularly when it comes to life - mine in particular, and the fact that dmy brain has been on something of overdrive both in the good and bad sense.
I've always had something of a feeling that time was running out for me: time to do the things I want, to accomplish the things I'd like to accomplish. I suppose, on some level, this was prompted by a post that Marie ceasefire made awhile back about looking back on her life thus far and realizing that nothing monumental has occurred yet - at least in terms of accomplishment.
Like anyone who is a fair number of years older than her friends, I guess it's only natural to say: Slow down. Don't rush. It's okay, you're young. You have time. But on the other hand, I have to wonder why say these things? True, there is a lifetime ahead of them, but why not get started as early as when you realize you want to accomplish things?
I've always envied my brother's intense drive to accomplish things. The fact that he will be taking on Law School in the coming schoolyear (something he decided he would do back in his grade school years) blows my mind and makes my heart want to burst because he is one of those people who inspire me by the simple fact that they set their minds fearlessly on a goal, take aim and achieve.
I'm not that kind of person. I can try, but I'm not. Doing that does not come as easy to me because half the time, I'm not sure what I want or when I want them. Important decisions take time for me. I need to literally let them stew, sometimes for hours, days, months - hell, even years. I need to do that, be comfortable and sure that I am committed in my decision before I say "Yes. Yes."
I suppose this is why I'm always in so much awe of people who are that kind of person. Why I am drawn to be in the company of these people. They inspire me.
A bit of rambling on my part, because I am the type to ramble: It sounds ridiculously fatalistic to think that even before I was born, I was the type to vacillate. The family story has been recounted enough times: I was due April 21, 1985, and silly as it sounds, whenever I check Astrology books my personality for that day is so much closer to who I am than the one talked about in April 18; the day I was born. Mom's told me that she went into something like 12 hours of labor with me, at the end of which she needed a C-section because I apparently wasn't cooperating in the way I was supposed to.
I know better than to pin my life on something as "silly" as Astrology, star charts, horoscopes. I don't need people to tell me that these things sometimes limit the human imagination. I know that they can. I also know that my interest in these things has helped me to broaden my own personal scope and establish what belief systems seem logical and plausible and open to me. Because I admit, I need to believe that there are reasons for things, nevermind how painful some of these might be. I have an almost desperate need to understand things, I will pick them apart if I have to and put them back together - but I do this because there are some things I want - and yes, again need to know.
In any case, even if this isn't true - true in the sense that our actions as early as the months, hours and seconds before we even breathe our first air on this planet - it's more than a little surprising how it reflects my occassional impulsiveness, the heart-wrenching hesitation that follows, and the end of these which either conclude with me retracting whatever it was I did, or just throwing caution to the wind and leaving it out there to fare on it's own.
Over the last year I've been constantly talking about my music: what I want to do with it, where I hope for it to go. I've chronicled some of the things that I've done - all the recording I've been doing at home, the times I would re-evaluate what needed to be "reworked" or "rearranged" in terms of accompaniment. In a handful of instances, I uploaded the mp3 files to share these with those of you who leave me very grateful for the support, the interest and encouragement. On the side I discussed with some friends, with my parents, whatever I could of copyright and intellectual property rights.
I do not want a take two of someone claiming my work as theirs. That nightmare is a constant murmur over my shoulder, countered only by the wonderful people who check in and really listen to what I put together; the people who don't mind it when I babble on and on about plans that, to me, never seem to really materialize.
On one and, I have my su-on, my godsister, Tintin to thank. Her and Ian, her younger brother, their parents who make me feel ridiculously special and who filled the house with good vibes and laughter and happy talk when they flew over from Atlanta to spend some time over here. I think talking to Tintin opened up something inside of me that at the time, I only felt safe to share with a handful of my closest friends, people who I had grown sure of, with whom I could tell my dreams to and not feel as though I was wasting their time.
I don't know how to explain just... how much this thing means to me. But if it helps any, the fact that I talk and talk and talk abuot it, turn it over in every which way possible - it's that important.
I have to be careful with it, you see. Can't be careless. I don't think it can stand me dropping it on the floor again. And I promised myself I wouldn't.
So. Here for my sake are my plans. Post-discussion with Luis and after several chats with a handful of people who were kind enough to give up even five minutes of their time to deal with a more than slightly spazzy Noeyshroom, panicking because nothing to do at work equals too much time spent in her darkroom of a head.
Finish the last 3 tracks for the Demo.
Have Demo copyrighted at the National Library & pay a visit to the IPO.
Upgrade Myspace. Have already discussed this with Mia (thank you, bb). Consider taking down existing tracks/photos.
Set aside money for recording sessions at studio. 3.5K Php/song.
Consult with studio-contact on how to go about "upgrading songs" for maximum quality.
Record "Broadcast-Ready" copies of those 4 start-up songs meant for Myspace.
Do not panic over this. It may not get done right away, but it will get done.
I need to start figuring out how to give a bit more texture to the 4 songs I've selected. I know nothing about guitars and drums except the abstract version of how I'd like the finished copies to sound. I'm very grateful to Faye (my Da) really, because she's been trying to find a guitarist who might be willing to talk to me about the finer points about putting together an arrangement. If I need to pay a fee for help in that department, I don't think I want to hesitate. But at least, since Faye has already said that she's backing me on this, she can advise me on what is reasonable.
Still so much for me to do. I need to read up on Adobe Audition again, maybe I can figure out how to record "cleaner" and "better-finished" copies in case working in a studio becomes unplausible for the time being. One day, if even something does come out of this, maybe when the family gets its own house, I will set up my own home-studio so that cost will be minimized. One day.
In the meantime, I already know what resources I have and what resources I don't. Now it's time to make it work.